Miss Ann Says | thoughts from everyday life | Page 13

- Hope
  
  Posted at 11:49 am by missannsays, on July 23, 2014
  
  Tomorrow morning I travel to Japan as a member of the "3rd International Outreach Program for School Children and Community Survivors of 3/11 Great East Japan Disasters". Amazing!!! Last year I was privileged to represent the 9/11 Tribute Center on the second trip. This trip will be similar as we will visit mental health clinics and temporary housing units, attend Rotary Club dinners/receptions, visit a school for the deaf in Koriyama and have a photo-op at the "Soaring Crane" Memorial in Kaiseizan Park. Even though some of the places we visit will be the same, this won’t be a “repeat” of the last trip. How could it be. It is a year later. Much can and does happen in a year. Things we deem good, things we deem bad and things that seem totally ordinary. I hope to see some of the people I meet last year but I also hope that they are no longer living in temporary housing. I hope those caring for so many people at the mental health clinics have not grown weary. I guess what I hope is that there is HOPE.
  
  Jeanette, fellow Tribute Center traveler and friend, sent me this prayer. It is my prayer for this trip:
  
  Prayer for a Safe Journey
  
  Blessed are You, Lord God, for You have created a wide and wonderful world
  in which we can travel.
  We ask Your blessing upon us as we are about to leave on this journey.
  Be our ever-near companion, our guide of travelers, and spread the road
  before us with beauty and adventure.
  May all the highways ahead of us be free of harm and evil.
  May we be accompanied by your Holy spirit and your angelic messengers, as
  were the holy ones of days past.
  On this trip may we take with us as part of our traveling equipment a heart
  wrapped in wonder with which to rejoice in all that we shall meet.
  Along with the clothing of wonder, may be have room in our luggage for a
  mystic map by which we can find the invisible meanings of the events of
  this journey – of possible disappointments and delays, of possible breakdowns
  and rainy day troubles.
  Always awake to your Sacred Presence and to Your divine compassionate love,
  may we see in all that happens to us, in the beautiful and the bad, the
  mystery of Your holy plan.
  May your blessing be upon us throughout this trip and bring us home again
  in safety and peace.
  
  Amen
  
  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Japan, random thoughts, travel
- bucket list
  
  Posted at 10:34 pm by missannsays, on June 24, 2014
  
  We had been watching the World Cup soccer game between USA and Ghana in the bar where my son-in-law is a bartender. The added excitement was that members of the Reign soccer team were also in the bar. I enjoyed my tonic water with lime and watching my son-in-law interact with the customers. I am grateful that soccer is easy to understand, easy to watch and the USA won.
  
  As my daughter and I were leaving, I commented “that was the first time I ever watched a sporting event in a bar. It was really fun.” My daughter responded “you will have to check it off your bucket list.” I stated “I don’t have a bucket list but a lot of things I have done would be bucket list worthy”. She said “well start a bucket list of stuff you have already done and you can just check them off.”
  
  Tomorrow I am driving from MN to KS with my niece and her 5 small children. Well, it is actually my late husband’s nephew’s wife and children or my sister-in-law’s grandchildren and daughter-in-law. Anyway you say it, it is people who I count as family and love very much. And I am sure driving from MN to KS with a newborn, 2-year-old, 4-year-old, 5-year-old and almost 8-year-old would have never been on my bucket list but it is going to be adventure. You may ask why? My nephew is in the Army/National Guard Reserves and his annual active duty time is in Leavenworth, KS – his hometown. He will be finished on Friday so “we” are all driving to meet him at his folks, my sister-in-law’s house. I am pretty sure the stories from this journey will be bucket list worthy.
  
  Your prayers for safe travel, patience and keeping a sense of humor are greatly appreciated. 🙂
  
  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged family, randomness, travel
- One WTC
  
  Posted at 7:13 pm by missannsays, on June 4, 2014
  
  Last Wednesday I had the opportunity to go to the “top of 1 WTC”. Well it wasn’t actually the top, it was the 88th floor. And that may not seem impressive to some people but may I remind you that the shortest building on the World Trade Center site is 72 stories. 88 stories is 16 stories higher than 4 WTC which is taller than any building in Boston, Philadelphia or Seattle. So I guess New York and Chicago people can comment that 88 stories isn’t that high but let me tell you it was high.
  
  It was really interesting to be on the “other side of the fence”. I saw the transportation hub up close and personal. The front or is it the back reminds me of a Samaria helmet. The lobby of 1 WTC was cool to see as well. The elevator ride was quick and the only disappointing thing was the windows on the 88th floor were really dirty. Since the building isn’t completed clean windows are not a priority. It was also a cloudy day so between dirty windows and clouds the photos aren’t spectacular but the view was.
  
  We were also invited to sign the wall – on the concrete not the sheet rock. Since May 28 is my daughter’s anniversary I made mention of that as well as telling Bruce that he would have loved the view. I went to the “top” because it was an amazing opportunity that not everyone has. I also went to the top because that is so something that Bruce would have done. Many years ago when we were first married and I was not adventurous at all, Bruce had called me a chicken sh*t. Considering we were at Action Park when he said that I was probably erring on the side of safety. Anyway, I was totally shocked that he had called me that and it ended in a good laugh and an apology. Really on some level it was true, not appropriate to say but partially true. I don’t think it is true anymore. There are many things I have no desire to do but there are more things I am willing to try now than I would have when I was younger that almost seems counterintuitive but really what do I have to lose.
  
  transportation hub
  
  1WTC
  
  lobby of 1 WTC
  
  towards brooklyn
  
  zooming in
  
  towards NJ
  
  note I left on the wall
  
  88th floor
  
  Memorial from above
  
  Posted in September 11 | 0 Comments | Tagged family, September 11
- a birth story – child # 2
  
  Posted at 6:12 pm by missannsays, on June 3, 2014
  
  My first child was born three weeks after her due date and then only by force. My second child would arrive 5 days early. I would actually have labor with my second but she would also be born by C-section. My hubby would be seated next to me and I would watch in the mirror my doctors had set up. She would be totally wrapped in the cord just like baby #1 and the nurse would lay the baby’s cheek on mine and I would be in love. Wristbands would be placed on the baby and me and my hubby would leave the delivery room with the baby to head for the nursery. Within a matter of moments, Bruce, the baby and the nurse would be back. “What’s wrong?” The wrong date had been written on the wristbands it said June 2 but it was after midnight so it was June 3. So my wristband and baby’s wristband had to be changed and they had to be changed in my presence.
  
  My daughters are 3 years and 3 days apart. There was no planning in that. It just worked out that way. It made it easy for family birthday parties which were always combined. Even though my children are born the same time of year and are both girls, they are very different. When they were little I would say they were night and day. I think God did that intentionally so I won’t think I had parenthood figured out. My first was a little timid about trying new things. She had to “check things out” before taking part in activities. My second would “jump right in” and then have a look of oops! For example, when my girls were little we belonged to the Sterling Forest Beach Club. It was a lovely beach on Greenwood Lake probably less than two miles from my house. There was a sandy beach area that gently sloped down to the water. The area was surrounded by beautiful trees as it was part of Sterling Forest. There was a playground and free swim lessons for the kiddos. I would sit on the beach in my sand chair and Emily, child #1, would play at the water’s edge with her sand toys. Meghan, child #2, was more adventurous. I remember one day in particular when Meghan at age 2 walked into the lake. I was watching her and so was the lifeguard. The lifeguard commented “how far do you think she will go?”. I said “let’s see.” Emily was concerned that the lifeguard and I were allowing Meghan to walk in. We were both standing close enough to grab her but that little stinker walked in up to her chin. Unbelievable!! That little stinker turns 27 today. Where do the years go!
  
  Happy Birthday, Meghan! I am blessed to be your mom and so very proud of you.
  
  Posted in daily life, kid stuff, memories | 0 Comments | Tagged family, little things
- a birth story
  
  Posted at 10:29 am by missannsays, on May 31, 2014
  
  It was very early in the morning as I walked or was more like I waddled to the car. The baby I was carrying had a due date that had come and gone. The week before I had been admitted to the hospital but even medical intervention to induce her had not brought fore a baby. After a full day in hospital and no pain or movement, my doctors had said “baby isn’t ready. Go home and wait.”
  
  My bag had been packed for weeks. My mind had been ready to meet this little one for weeks as well. I was sure I was going to be eternally pregnant. I had a scripture verse I was holding onto. “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:16 I knew this baby would be born on the day God ordained and the good news was not a day later, bad news was not a day sooner.
  
  So on Thursday morning May 31, we awoke early to drive to the hospital to “have” this baby. I was up and ready to go. As we are heading out the door, Bruce, my hubby, announces he has to check the oil in the car first. what?!? Then as we drive the almost 30 miles to the hospital Bruce announces he is going to drive thru McDonald’s to get coffee. Did I mention I couldn’t eat or drink anything? An added note at the time McDonald’s sold this yummy little cinnamon buns which he also purchased. really?!? By the time we got to the hospital I was ready to “kill him”. I can look back now and realize that he was nervous and that was his way of coping but is wasn’t a pretty scene as we finally arrived at the hospital.
  
  I am admitted, gowned and the attempt to induce begins again. But this time I have one contraction and the baby’s heart rate drops. I am rolled on my left site, oxygen mask on my face and my doctor is called. All is good within seconds. One of my two doctors will come in and recommend since my body hasn’t done any of the necessary things to deliver a baby and it has been 3 weeks since my due date that they should perform a C section. My husband says “can’t we just wait until she has it naturally”. To which I say “doctor could you excuse us a moment.” My doctor walks out and I ask my beloved hubby why and what is he thinking. He states “everyone has been praying for a safe delivery so I think we should wait.” I said “we will wait until 3:30 when both of my doctors can be here. But if God hasn’t delivered this baby naturally by 3:30, the doctors are delivering it by C section.”
  
  I will watch my C section in the mirror my doctors placed for me to see. Bruce will be seated by my left shoulder and take photos but not gross photos as I instructed. There will be a curtained draped to separate my lower body from my range of view. I will have the sensation that my doctors are 1/2 way across the room but in reality I am not that tall. I will see our baby be taken from my body. It is a girl. She will be totally wrapped in her cord and the doctors will comment “someone was watching out for her.” I will hear her cry and the nurse will lay her little face on my left cheek. I can still feel her cheek. She will be cleaned up and Bruce will accompany her to the nursery. And today May 31, 2014 that baby turns 30 years old.
  
  She was worth the wait. I am so blessed to be her mom. I am so proud of the person she has become. Happy Birthday!!
  
  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged family
- Mixing it up
  
  Posted at 11:34 am by missannsays, on May 24, 2014
  
  Continue reading →
  
  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged little things, randomness
- Travel Tuesdays S2E3 – Central Park, NYC
  
  Posted at 6:00 pm by missannsays, on May 20, 2014
  
  The first tidbit that surprised me as the walking tour began was “everything in Central Park expect the large rock formations has been placed here.” Wait, what!?! I assumed it was a big wooded area the city turned into a park. No, it isn’t. To quote the tour guide “it is basically a movie set”. That seems so bizarre but after 156 years I am sure those trees have taken root and those streams have found their own course so it is more “real” than staged.
  
  According to the walking tour guide and the Central Park website:
  
  “Central Park, the first major landscaped public space in urban America, was created in the 1850s as an antidote to the turbulent social unrest, largely as the result of the country’s first wave of immigration, and a serious public health crisis, caused by harmful environmental conditions. Frederick Law Olmsted and Calvert Vaux, the winners of the 1858 design competition for Central Park, along with other socially conscious reformers understood that the creation of a great public park would improve public health and contribute greatly to the formation of a civil society. Immediately, the success of Central Park fostered the urban park movement, one of the great hallmarks of democracy of nineteenth century America.”
  
  The park would suffer a time of neglect and decay and eventually the Central Park Conservancy would be founded and now oversees, manages and fundraises for the 843 acre park located in the middle of Manhattan. Central Park stretches from 59th to 110th Street between Fifth Avenue and Central Park West (8th Ave). It has a great website centralparknyc.org and there is even a free app.
  
  I enjoyed the guided walking tour I did with friends late last month. One thing that always impresses me about the park is once you are “in” the park the sounds of the city fade away. Our tour guide said that is because the park is below street level. In the past I have taken a horse-drawn carriage ride through the park and that is a delightful venture. So if you are in NYC and need a break from the “hustle and the bustle”, take a walk in Central Park you will be pleasantly surprised.
  
  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged little things, travel thoughts
- National September 11 Memorial & Museum
  
  Posted at 8:48 pm by missannsays, on May 18, 2014
  
  This afternoon I visited the National September 11 Museum. I was a little apprehensive about going. To give you a point of reference for “where I am coming from”, I have never been to the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC. I have always known that it would be too much for me. And in thinking about the fact that I have never been to the Holocaust Museum I wondered how much harder a museum I have a personal connection to would be to visit. I decided to go today because as a family member I wanted to see what had been included about Bruce. I also went because as a docent for the Tribute Center I felt I should be able to make intelligent comments about it. So here are a few of my thoughts:
  
  1. I believe that the museum will do what is intended to do teach future generations about the events of September 11, 2001 as well as teach about the World Trade Center and terrorism.
  
  2. I believe that the sheer size of Foundation Hall speaks volumes to the enormity of the event.
  
  3. I am grateful that the memorial section is separate from the historical section.
  
  4. I think there is a tremendous amount of information available to you if you want to read, listen and see all that has been included.
  
  5. I think the future members of the Van Hine family tree will get a glimpse of who Bruce was and what he did as a firefighter on that day. They will also hear my voice speaking about him.
  
  6. I think I will probably go back to the memorial part but there is no value to me personally in reading, seeing and listening to all that is included in the historical part.
  
  7. I will continue to do walking tours of the Memorial for the Tribute Center and whoever asks me. I will continue be part of the pilot project between the Tribute Center and the Museum to bring “we were there” presentations to Museum visitors. And I will continue to share my story with whomever asks but I will not be volunteering at the Museum.
  
  Posted in September 11 | 1 Comment | Tagged September 11, telling the next generation
- The class of 1964
  
  Posted at 8:48 pm by missannsays, on May 17, 2014
  
  Last fall I received an email from a Facebook friend of my sister-in-law’s. After a brief introduction of who was emailing me, the sender explained that her husband is a 1964 graduate of West Point and she would like to schedule a tour of the Memorial during their 50th reunion weekend. She also mentioned it would be 100 people. I quickly suggested she contact the Tribute Center and forwarded her the information. I did say that I was more than willing to be one of walking tour docents but 100 people will require more than one guide. Through the months arrangements were made for the group to visit Tribute but because of the opening of the Museum the group was told that the Memorial may not be open on May 17 but they were welcome to meet with a docent in gallery 5 instead of a walking tour.
  
  So this morning I traveled into the Tribute Center to speak to 100 people in 2 groups of 50. As I thought about who this group was, I realized as 1964 graduates of USMA at West Point these men most likely went to Vietnam. As graduates of the USMA, they had served their nation, my nation. I realized as I was growing up they were servicing our country.
  
  Well, due to traffic and more traffic I arrived at the Tribute Center at 10:28 for a 10:30 group.Just in time for the group but these folks had arrived early so they were waiting for me. I quickly put my jacket and purse in a locker, grabbed some photos and walked into gallery 5. The gentleman in charge of the group pulled me aside and said “before you start speaking I would like to introduce you to the group.” Okay, I had never met this man but his wife was the one who had emailed me and set everything up. He got everyone’s attention using some military jargon and proceeded to introduce me. He mentioned I was an email friend of his wife, that Richard* had been a firefighter and had been killed on September 11. He commented that he had found a YouTube video of me speaking at a Christian college and suggested everyone watch it. 🙂 One of the things I had said in that video had really stuck with him. He stated that I had said “Bruce’s decision to enter the building on September 11 had been made long before September 11. Just as Christ’s decision to go to cross was made long before the Garden.” He went onto say that “23 members of the class of 1964 had died in Vietnam and 1 had died in the Dominican Republic.” He also said “that their decision to serve their country had been made on the parade ground on July 5, 1964 as they (we) raised our right hand and took the oath. Actually it had been made before that.” He also commented that duty is a form of love. He then introduced another man who handed me their class coin and announced I was an honorary member of the class of 1964. I was overwhelmed and humbled. I thanked them for their service, made reference to the fact that Bruce had been a firefighter at West Point before being FDNY and then told my September 11 story.
  
  When I finished, I did it one more time. The man who introduced me the first time, introduced me a second time and joked there wasn’t another coin. Wow!! I can’t believe I got one coin. I am ever amazed at the opportunities I am given. I am ever humbled by meeting the class of 1964. I am also very glad that the class of 1964 did actually get to go onto the Memorial after they finished at Tribute and they had a beautiful weather to boot.
  
  *Richard Bruce Van Hine was my husband’s full name. People who knew him referred to him as Bruce. The gentleman today referred to him as Richard and even mentioned to the second group that I called my husband Bruce but he would refer to him as Richard. I thought that showed respect.
  
  Posted in daily life, faith, respect in the real world, September 11 | 2 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, friendship, respect, September 11
- Heed my own words
  
  Posted at 11:26 am by missannsays, on May 16, 2014
  
  This morning the radio newscaster announced “the fences are down and the Museum is open to the families and the first responders.” I thought I would throw up. As I drove and pondered those words, I realized I needed to heed my own words. There are two issues that occupy my thoughts lately.
  
  “The fences are down for the first time since September 11, 2001” almost overwhelms me with fear. I have been leading walking tours around and on the Memorial for 8 years. There has always been a fence. A fence around an empty hole and then around a construction site. A fence around the Memorial that allowed me one place of entry. A fence that kept me out and then kept me safe and now it is gone. My mind races with thoughts what if I am on the Memorial and some wacko does some wacko thing? Am I responsible for the visitors on my tour? What if I am with a group of children or teens? Do I have a plan? And then I remember what I say to the students “be aware, not afraid!”.
  
  “The Museum is open to families and first responders” is another source of anxiety. I have seen the space, just the sheer size is overwhelming but what about the exhibits. As I ponder my upcoming visit, I know it will be difficult but I wonder will I be able to do it. And then I remember something else I say to friends and family when they visit the Tribute Center “be kind to yourself. Look at what you can look at, listen to what you can listen to and skip the rest.”
  
  I have said many times when speaking about my faith in relation to September 11 “that in the beginning I hid behind God then He carried me and then He put me down to walk.” I know He will supply what I need but sometimes I just need to remind myself. Below are the words to a song by Matt Redman that is currently my friendly reminder of how far I have traveled and how faithful God is. You can find a video on YouTube.
  
  “Never Once”
  
  Standing on this mountaintop
  Looking just how far we’ve come
  Knowing that for every step
  You were with us
  
  Kneeling on this battle ground
  Seeing just how much You’ve done
  Knowing every victory
  Was Your power in us
  
  Scars and struggles on the way
  But with joy our hearts can say
  Yes, our hearts can say
  
  Never once did we ever walk alone
  Never once did You leave us on our own
  You are faithful, God, You are faithful
  
  Kneeling on this battle ground
  Seeing just how much You’ve done
  Knowing every victory
  Was Your power in us
  
  Scars and struggles on the way
  But with joy our hearts can say
  Yes, our hearts can say
  
  Never once did we ever walk alone
  Never once did You leave us on our own
  You are faithful, God, You are faithful
  You are faithful, God, You are faithful
  
  Scars and struggles on the way
  But with joy our hearts can say
  Never once did we ever walk alone
  Carried by Your constant grace
  Held within Your perfect peace
  Never once, no, we never walk alone
  
  Never once did we ever walk alone
  Never once did You leave us on our own
  You are faithful, God, You are faithful
  
  Every step we are breathing in Your grace
  Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
  You are faithful, God, You are faithful
  You are faithful, God, You are faithful
  
  You are faithful, God, You are faithful
  You are faithful, God, You are faithful
  
  Posted in daily life, faith, September 11 | 4 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, September 11
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