Miss Ann Says

thoughts from everyday life
Miss Ann Says
  • About Me & Media Bio:
  • Speaker/Writer
  • Tag: September 11

    • Finally Home

      Posted at 10:40 pm by missannsays, on January 19, 2016

      generations

      My mother-in-law is finally home. She passed from this life to eternity early this morning. For years she had been saying (my paraphrase) “Each night I ask the Lord to just take me home and then I wake up in the morning and have another day. I don’t know why God still has me here?” Before she moved to assisted living I would answer that question with “I don’t know Mom but I think it is so we can go to Friendly’s together”. After she moved to assisted living I would say “I don’t know Mom but I think it is because there may be someone here who doesn’t know Jesus loves them.” My mother-in-law was 97 years old last September. She served in her church until she was in her 90’s. She picked up friends and drove them to church until she was in her 90’s which to be honest was always a little scary to me but what an example of servant hood. My mother-in-law truly practiced the gift of hospitality. She was always inviting people over for Sunday dinner. She hosted more missionaries and random people overnight in her home than you could believe.

      My mother-in-law lived alone since her husband had died over 20 years ago. She outlived just about every one of her contemporaries. All of her siblings and their spouses are deceased. Many of her friends are deceased.  The one death that she told me time and time again she couldn’t understand was her son, my husband, Bruce Van Hine. Through the 14 years since his death, I would remind her that Bruce was a firefighter and he died in the line of duty doing a job he loved. I would say “It is the wrong order of things for a parent to bury a child.”  I would change the subject to remind her about her daughter and her husband and her 5  grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren. Naming each member of the family and mentioning where they lived and any stories I could think of. Showing her photos on FB.

      My mother-in-law and I didn’t always see eye to eye. Surprisingly we actually became closer after Bruce’s death. We both lost someone we loved dearly. I realized that after a point you just need to cut people slack so a change in my attitude improved our relationship. Also I think if someone is in their 80’s or 90’s what the heck give them a break.

      I had the privilege of being with my mother-in-law in her last days. I held the fort down until my sister-in-law could arrive from Kansas. I have to chuckle because last Thursday was the first day I ever wore knee high boots with jeans tucked in and because I didn’t have time to go home for a change of clothing I wore jeans with knee high boots for 4 days straight. I went to CVS and bought underwear, socks, toiletries and t-shirt. On Saturday my daughter drove in from PA and brought me some clothing but wow! my mother-in-law used to call me that dancer girl and here I am in an outfit she would never approve of or understand.  But on the bright side I played church hymns for her on my iPhone, held her cup so she could sip water, feed her one or two spoonfuls of yogurt and told her “if you see the hand of Jesus reaching out to you, grab it.” I prayed for her and read Bible passages and told stories. I left her on Sunday morning in the care of her daughter and I can honestly say “we” were good.

      So today I am saddened but I am also rejoicing because my mother-in-law is home and she is reunited with her hubby and son. I am currently visiting my daughter who brought the clothing and her social work expertise on Saturday. And I had to smile because on her way home from work today she stopped at the grocery store and bought shrimp, cocktail sauce and blueberry muffins. All items in memory of her grandmother.

      “Don’t worry Mom we are saving the muffins for breakfast. Mom, God answered your prayer. It took longer than you thought it would but He answered it. I love you. I will see you again. Give Bruce a hug from me.” Love Ann, that dancer girl and your daughter-in-law. 🙂

       

      Wonderful story about this not being our home. http://www.ugandamission.net/ministry/teaching/homecoming.html

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged family, following Jesus, friendship, little things, prayer, September 11
    • David Bowie and the Concert for New York City

      Posted at 1:17 pm by missannsays, on January 11, 2016

      When I read the news that David Bowie had died I was saddened not because I was a super Bowie fan because a talented creative human being had died from a terrible disease that kills so many. I am saddened for his family and friends as they grieve their personal loss with the world.  David Bowie was a public figure but more than that he was someone’s dad, business associate and friend. Please take a moment to pray or send a good thought or whatever you do to those who truly knew him.

      As I looked at the posts on FB of people sharing their “personal” Bowie stories, I was reminded that I had seen David Bowie perform at the Concert for New York City in October 2001. After seeing the clip I remembered his performance. To be honest I don’t remember much about that concert partially because it was over 14 years ago but mostly because I believe I was still in shock when I attended it.  I don’t think I was even functioning on auto-pilot as of that point.

      Forgive me for jumping on the David Bowie band wagon but here is my David Bowie story:

      The FDNY had invited my teenage daughters and myself to attend the Concert for New York City at Madison Square Garden.  The Concert for New York City was to be my first “rock” concert. I asked my brother and sister-in-law to come along. My little brother https://missannsays.com/2012/06/05/my-little-brother/ was a rock concert veteran and very tall. Both things I assumed could come in handy.  As we walked from the parking garage to MSG the streets were quiet. It seemed all wrong – this is NYC on a Saturday – quiet isn’t normal. Quiet gave way to loud as we entered MSG. Our seats were on side so we could actually see into the wings/ backstage so we could see who was up next. Thankfully my sister-in-law brought earplugs. The concert opened with David Bowie sitting on stage. The word that comes to mind is humble or humbled.  http://davidbowienews.com/2014/04/america-concert-for-new-york-city-2001/

      There are three other things that resonate with me  about the concert:

      • The firefighters trying to make sure my daughters were having a good time. Escorting my daughters so they could have a front row view for part of the concert.
      • My 17-year-old and myself having an Abbott and Costello type conversation about “who” is on stage and me saying “The Who” and her saying who???
      • When former President Bill Clinton came on stage the atmosphere totally changed to a mob like mentality that was scary. My brother and FDNY escorts positioned themselves to protect my daughters, my sister-in-law and myself. Thankfully things calmed down but there was a few moments of raw emotion, too much beer, and lack of sleep that could have got bad. The only thing scarier than that was watching the Concert for New York on MSG network years later and hearing the announcer say “the Clintons were cheered.” I was dumbfounded and started yelling at the television. Really we can just change events like that. Not good. To the best of my memory neither former President Clinton or Hillary were cheered.  Wikipedia in their description of the Concert for New York mentions the dubbing in of cheers – what?!? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Concert_for_New_York_City

      Thank you Mr. Bowie for sharing your talents and teaching us that we can always reinvent ourselves. Rest in Peace. May your family and friends find comfort in the memories and hope for the future.

       

       

       

       

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Concert for New York City, David Bowie, family, September 11
    • to wear or not to wear

      Posted at 4:21 pm by missannsays, on November 20, 2015

      proverbs 3

      For reasons I won’t go into here, I am supposed to where a heart monitor for the next two weeks. The heart monitor arrived via Fed Ex late yesterday afternoon and last night I proceeded to follow the instructions for activating it. The woman at the monitoring company was very helpful and “we” thought we were good to go. I did all the required installing of batteries, charging and powering up of the cell phone, attaching the electrodes and attaching the wires. I read how often to change the electrodes and how often to charge the phone. The only issue seemed to be “cell phone coverage”. The cell phone wasn’t happy with the coverage or lack of coverage. I explained to the woman cell phone coverage can be problematic in my area. No, I don’t have Sprint for my regular phone. “No worries, the phone will reset itself. Just start to wear the monitor.” So I slept with my new companion – a heart monitor. The cell phone needed to be charged and to be within feet of the monitor so I figured that out. As I was drifting off to sleep I thought about my schedule for the next two weeks, I realized I am leading a tour for friends on Saturday. Oh, great! I am walking onto the National September 11 Memorial with a metal object hanging on a lanyard, concealed under my clothing, with wires attaching it to my body. Wow! Probably not good. Then my imagination went wild – holy crap this could go bad fast. I envisioned the headline “9/11 widow shot by cops” “9/11 widow mistaken for suicide bomber”.

      This morning I was still trying to figure out to what to do – where the monitor or don’t wear the monitor on Saturday? I was still imagining all kinds of drama. A telephone call  this afternoon from the monitoring company solved my dilemma. “We can’t connect with your device. Sprint doesn’t have good coverage in your area duh so we are sending you a Verizon phone. Please send the monitor back. You will get a new device on Monday”

      Go figure. 🙂

       

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged heart monitors, random thoughts, September 11, walking tours
    • grateful, culture and Paris

      Posted at 8:22 pm by missannsays, on November 17, 2015

      Gratitude-Henry Ward Beecher

      I spoke at a women’s luncheon today about living a grateful life – my September 11 experiences and thoughts from the book of Philippians. I also shared a story I don’t usually share, a story about Paris. As the chairperson of the meeting read my bio, there was an audible gasp as she said “In 1990, Bruce achieved his lifetime dream of being a New York City Firefighter. Bruce was killed in the line of duty on September 11, 2001.” Even after 14 years that kind of reaction gives me pause, I feel bad because in some ways I feel like I have sucker punched everyone and in another way I feel like everyone looks at me differently. I have the sense that suddenly there is a giant flashing sign above my head “9/11 widow, 9/11 widow”. I also have the sense that people’s minds are spinning, the sense that people have lost their bearings so I try to say something to break the ice, something to kick-start their brains, something to interject air back into the room. Today I commented that I wish I could say that September 11, 2001 was the last terrorist attack that the world had experienced but unfortunately that is not the case.

      I went onto say that I am saddened that there are more families who can say “I have had a personal loss in the midst of a national tragedy.” All loss is loss and all loss is sad but there is an extra layer of something when your personal loss is part of an event so much bigger than you.

      I told my story  and mentioned how the book of Philippians is one of my favorite books in the Bible. I mentioned that Paul was in prison when he wrote it and how the word joy in some form appears 16 times. How Paul doesn’t mentioned changing his circumstances but talks about being contend. I think it all wove together.

      In case you are interested, the story I added about Paris is:

      In February 2002, Squad 41  called and said “there is an opportunity that made us think of you because you have culture*! The Paris Fire Department has invited FDNY widows and their children to France for one week. You will stay in the home of a firefighter and his family. They assure us that at least one person in the family will speak English.  Do you want to go?”  Yes, please.

      The night before we were scheduled to leave for Paris my telephone rang, it was Charlie, Bruce’s lieutenant. “Ann, I want you to promise me you will still go to Paris. I already know your answer to what I am going to tell you next but they made me call you. (pause) We found Bruce’s body. We will come and pick you up if your want to be here when he is carried out.”  “Charlie, I can’t do that.” “I knew that.” “Listen it could take up to 6 weeks for him to be identified so please go to France.”

      I didn’t say anything to my daughters because I didn’t want to ruin their trip and the FDNY said it would take 6 weeks for identification. We were treated like royalty – taken up the back entrance into Versailles so we didn’t have to wait in line, a police escort and private tour guide at Disneyland, Paris, a state dinner on a boat up the Seine River, gifts to take home including a bottle of champagne** that had been specially labeled with FDNY and Paris FD. The kindness and generosity of the French people was amazing.

      An inside joke on the trip became when asked if I spoke French, I replied “all I remember from 4 years of High School French is “Ou est une bibliotheque?”  Not a very useful phrase. On our last night as we floated up the Seine River, one of the firefighters  pointed and said “Ann, une bibliotheque” – the library.

      We returned home on the day before Easter. On Easter Sunday, the day when there is no body I was notified that yes, that was Bruce’s body. For years I didn’t understand the significance of there being a body on the day when it is all about there is no body. I came to realize that my hope is based in the fact there was no body on Easter so whether Bruce’s body was*** found or not on September 11,2001 Bruce was doing his job, whispered he loved his girls and was face to face with God.

      When I heard of the attacks in Paris, I thought of those firefighters I had met, I thought of their families and I prayed for them.

       

       

      *still not sure what “I have culture” means

      ** In 2011 the day after my second daughter got married my two daughters and their husbands opened that bottle of champagne and had a special toast to their dad. 🙂

      *** I did mention that I am grateful Bruce’s body was found that 40% of families have had no human remains.

      Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged FDNY, Paris, prayer, September 11, travel
    • getting back in the groove

      Posted at 4:15 pm by missannsays, on October 27, 2015

      groove

      Sometimes with writing (blogging) as with other things in life you just seem to fall out of step. A new commitment to babysit my grandson two days a week, add to that a couple of speaking engagements and interviews, increased travel to visit my mom and blogging fell to the bottom of the pile. I missed blogging (and I have some other writing I need to work on) so here is my public announcement that I am picking up my pen (well not really because I type) and putting my random ramblings on paper (screen) on a more regular basis. 🙂 I am getting back in the groove.

      First up is a few quick recommendations for visiting the September 11 Memorial. Recently people from all parts (former high school classmates, pastors, etc.)  of my life have been asking “can you explain the difference between the Memorial, Tribute Center, One World Observatory and Museum to me?”

      So here goes:

      1.  9/11 Tribute Center, 120 Liberty Street is 5 small galleries and walking tours of the September 11 Memorial Plaza. The daily walking tours are the crown jewel of the Tribute Center. Survivors, downtown residents, family members, first responders and volunteers during the rescue/recovery give 75 minute walking tours that include the history of the original World Trade Center, timeline of the attacks, rebuilding, symbolism of the Memorial and most importantly their personal story.  9/11 Tribute Center tours started in 2005 and the galleries opened in 2006. This is who I volunteer with.  tributewtc.org
      2.  The National September 11 Memorial is open daily from 7:30am – 9:00pm. It is an open plaza. You don’t need tickets to visit. Take the time to walk around at least one of the pools so you can experience the size of the buildings. Pools are within the original foot[print of the building. The row of trees behind you when you are at the pool marks the walls of the original buildings – you are standing in the original buildings. The Memorial opened on September 11, 2011.  911memorial.org
      3. The National September 11 Memorial Museum is open Sunday – Thursdays from 9:00am – 8:00pm and Fridays – Saturdays from 9:00am – 9:00pm but last entry is 6:00pm/7:00pm respectively. You need to purchase tickets online. Allow at least 2 hours to visit and be kind to yourself. The museum has a lot of amazing artifacts. It is arranged with a in memoriam section and a historical section. Don’t miss the video from NASA. The Museum opened in May of 2014.  911memorial.org
      4. One World Observatory is open daily from 9:00am – 8:00pm with last entry at 7:15pm. One World Observatory is the observation deck of the new 1WTC. You will need to purchase tickets. It opened in May of 2015. oneworldobservatory.com

       

      My thoughts:

      You will get more out of visiting The National September 11Memorial if you do a 9/11 Tribute Center walking tour.

      If you are not from “around these parts”, do a 9/11 Tribute Center walking tour of The National September 11 Memorial and go to One World Observatory.

      If you have children do a walking tour and then decide if The National September 11 Museum is appropriate for your family. Remember to your children September 11 is history, to you it is current event.

      All four places are worth your time and money but you need to pace yourself so do a walking tour (& galleries) your first visit, the museum another visit and the observatory another time.

      The Museum is artifacts and information.

      The walking tours are stories and inspiration.

      The Observatory is cool views.

       

       

      https://missannsays.com/2014/05/18/national-september-11-memorial-museum/

      https://missannsays.com/2014/05/13/travel-tuesdays-s2e2-911-memorial-museum/

       

       

       

       

      Posted in daily life, September 11, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged National September 11 Museum, NYC, September 11, travel thoughts, writing
    • Random Updates

      Posted at 2:17 pm by missannsays, on September 10, 2015

      In April  of 2013  I submitted a mediation to The Upper Room for possible publication. Tomorrow it is the September 11th reading. It has been published in their September – October 2015 devotional booklet. They graciously asked me to submit a blog for tomorrow as well. The meditation will be available tomorrow at http://devotional.upperroom.org/ and the blog at http://devotional.upperroom.org/blog.

       

      I am speaking at Norwin Church of the Nazarene on Sunday September 13 at 10:40am. 110 Clay Pike
      North Huntingdon, PA 15642.

       

      chicken soup

       

      My story “Unexpected Blessings” is in Chicken Soup for the Soul Volunteering & Giving Back. My friend Sonia Agron also has a story in the same book.

       

      Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments | Tagged September 11, speaking, writing
    • teaching children about September 11, 2001

      Posted at 10:50 pm by missannsays, on September 9, 2015

      Through my volunteer work with the 9/11 Tribute Center I have had the amazing opportunity to share my story and story of September 11, 2001 with the next generation. I have spoken to school groups while sitting on the floor in gallery 5 of the Tribute Center or via the internet to classrooms in  another state or standing in a classroom in New York or New Jersey. Each time I am struck with what an awesome responsibility it is  to tell the facts and person to person history of the day that changed the world. As the 14th anniversary approaches I have included a list of resources that you may find helpful in teaching the children in your life about that tragic day.

      9/11 Tribute Center has resources for parents and teachers – http://tributewtc.org/education/resources/for-parents

      National September 11th Museum also has resources – https://www.911memorial.org/youth-and-families

      Below are some books that appropriate for children. Please read the suggested ages in the book reviews on Amazon before reading a particular book to a child. The first six listed here are appropriate for elementary aged children. The other books are appropriate for older children. Please monitor what information your teens are finding online and don’t forgot to engage in real conversation with your teens about the events of that day. 

       




      Related posts –

      https://missannsays.com/2014/02/05/but-why/

      https://missannsays.com/2012/02/18/respect-in-the-real-world-part-2/

       

      Posted in books, kid stuff, September 11 | 2 Comments | Tagged 9/11 Tribute Center, National September 11 Museum, September 11, telling the next generation
    • Posted at 2:38 pm by missannsays, on September 7, 2015

      At the first anniversary there was a sense of needing to do the “right” thing, the appropriate thing, the expected thing. I am so grateful to a friend who said “do what you want to do” and we did. Meghan and I traveled to Quincy, MA to be with Emily who had just started her freshmen year of college. We attended chapel on campus, then drove down to the waterfront and sat and talked about Daddy (Bruce), we prayed, we cried and we wrote in our “things we would have told you” book – a recap of the year. Later, we ventured into Boston for lunch. I remember we stumbled upon numerous television crews at Nathaniel Hall and not knowing if we should laugh or cry, we kept our distance. We wanted to just be a mom and her daughters missing their dad/husband not 9/11 family members. There was something surreal about the day as there has been something surreal about so many days.

      As the years have passed the advice of that friend “to do what you want to do” has proven to be excellent advice. Some years I have taken part in local ceremonies in Greenwood Lake or Rochelle Park or attended unique opportunities like ringing the bell at the NASDAQ or the concert at the Beacon Theatre.  I don’t venture to the National September 11 Memorial ceremony because I don’t think I can take on the grief of all those people. We don’t always write in the “things we would have told you” book anymore. We aren’t necessarily physically together because one daughter lives in Seattle and the other in PA.

      This Friday will mark the 14th anniversary. I haven’t decided what I want to do this year. This year is a tricky year because my one daughter has now lived 14 years with her dad and 14 years without him and that breaks my heart. It seems harder this year because I have so many Tribute Center friends and I carry their stories as well. A few things that were true on the first anniversary are true on the 14th. I will talk to my daughters and I will tell them how very proud their Dad would be of them and I will remind them that he loved them so much. I will ask them to remember to pray for the other families, and the Squad 41 firefighters.  I will thank God for His faithfulness, my family and friends. And we will wish that we were just a mom and daughters missing their dad/husband who died in the line of duty and not 9/11 family members because a personal loss in the midst of a national tragedy adds so many layers.

       

      Memorial at TRCC, Milan, NY
      FDNY Memorial, NYC

      Memorial at Greenwood Lake, NY

      National September 11 Memorial
      last column bearing Squad 41 where they found Bruce’s body.

      Rochelle Park, NJ Memorial
      Albany,NY

      Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments | Tagged 9/11 Tribute Center, family, friendship, little things, September 11 Read On →
    • a new landscape

      Posted at 3:29 pm by missannsays, on July 25, 2015

      Grief-Quote-CS-LewisToday is a tricky day.(https://missannsays.com/2013/01/18/tricky-days/). Today would have been my husband’s 62nd birthday but it has been 13 years since he celebrated a birthday here on earth (https://missannsays.com/2012/09/10/r-bruce-van-hine/). Actually I surprised myself with a “good cry” this morning. The wondrous birth of my first grandchild back in April has made today harder than it has been in the past. Each year the number of things that Bruce has missed increases. I am grateful for the years we had and I am grateful for the life I have today but…

      C.S. Lewis says “Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape.” My life is a totally new landscape now.  And in many ways that isn’t a bad thing but it is a different thing.  Happy Birthday, Bruce. See you again…

      psalm 61

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged family, little things, September 11
    • Appalachian Trail and Me

      Posted at 2:49 pm by missannsays, on July 18, 2015

      app%20trail%20map

      The Appalachian Trail and I have an interesting relationship. I am not a hiker. I have no desire to hike anywhere let alone the “A.T.” I will admit I enjoyed Bill Bryson’s book “A Walk in the Woods”. It was one of my husband’s favorite books.  My husband was a hiker and he enjoyed hiking the “A.T.”. Through the years I have played a role in making sure his car was where it needed to be so when he finished a day hike he could get home. Other times I dropped him off and at a set time picked him up. I have fed “through hikers” he brought home and welcomed strangers to take a shower and sleep in their tent in our yard. I purchased gallon zip lock bags so he could leave Bibles on the trail. And a few years ago I donated his trail guides to the National September 11 Museum and in June the Museum put his trail guide on display. Yesterday I had a telephone call from a Museum staff person telling me they had written a blog about Bruce’s story.

      https://www.911memorial.org/blog/new-view-firefighter%E2%80%99s-appalachian-trail-guidebook

       

       

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Appalachian Trail, Bill Bryson, family, little things, National September 11 Museum, September 11
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