Miss Ann Says

thoughts from everyday life
Miss Ann Says
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  • Tag: September 11

    • A September Monday

      Posted at 11:33 pm by missannsays, on September 8, 2014

      On a Monday in September of 1975 I lost my job, started a small business and meet my future husband. Really, that all happened on the same day. My employer, teacher, mentor called and cut my teaching hours to a minimum. Shocked and totally dismayed I told my dad, he said “what to do want to do?”. Tearfully I said “teach little girls to dance.” “So let’s figure out how you can do that.” My dad and I sat at the dining room table, planned and the result was The New School of Dance Arts. Did I mention I was 21 years old?

      Later that same day the phone rang, Carol said “Craig is here and he has some guy he wants you to meet. We are coming over.” That guy was Bruce Van Hine. A week or so later Bruce would ask me out. We started dating and on June 14, 1980 were married. Side note: Craig would also introduce Carol to her hubby.

      In 1976, Carol would “buy” into my business. Actually she matched the funds that were in the checking account ($100) and we became business partners. It doesn’t matter that isn’t the right way to do that because we retired from that business in 2011 after 35 years. Oh, and she is still my bestest friend.

      With much apprehension in the fall of 2001, I would check the calendar to make sure that September 11, 1975 was not a Monday. It was a Thursday.

      20140726-064351-24231379.jpg

      Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged friendship, little things, September 11
    • Japan 2014 – part 4

      Posted at 8:27 pm by missannsays, on September 3, 2014

      Three random stories from Japan – one is blooper reel worthy (if it had been filmed), one is amusing (at least chuckle worthy) and one is thought-provoking. 🙂

      1. On the seventh morning in Japan, my eyes lit up as I saw applesauce on the breakfast buffet. Breakfast buffets in Japan usually have a “western” section and a “traditional” section. This particular buffet was not divided that way. I wasn’t in the mood for eggs so I took some fruit, made two pieces of toast and took a separate bowl of applesauce. The dining room was crowded. We found a few seats here and there and sat down to eat. I put my tray on the table and went to get some coffee and butter and by the time I came back the table was “just our group”. I was really looking forward to the applesauce. I don’t know why but I was. I scooped up a small spoonful and the moment the applesauce touched my tongue I knew this isn’t applesauce. I knew I couldn’t  swallow it. Okay proper etiquette is however it goes in your mouth is how it should come out of your mouth. So as politely as possible I spit it back unto the spoon and slowly placed the spoon back in the bowl. I glanced around the table to see if anyone noticed. Thankfully, no. I took a quick drink of coffee and a deep breath to stop myself from bursting into laughter. I looked at one of my fellow travelers and said “it wasn’t applesauce” and proceeded to share the story. 🙂

      2. At one moment towards the end of our journey we all had to “pile” into one elevator. Luckily we didn’t have out luggage with us. We were definitely standing too close together. There wasn’t room to breath.I said “if this elevator gets stuck, I am going to need Dr Katz!” To which Dr Katz said “if this elevator gets stuck, Dr Katz is going to need Dr Katz!” Dr Katz is a psychiatrist.

      3. We had the opportunity to visit a high school. School wasn’t is session but some students came to share their 3/11 stories. They presented their stories in English and two of Tribute Center docents myself included shared our stories. When I finished sharing my prepared presentation, I said “I wanted to tell them something I had always said to my daughters September 11 does not define you.” I told them that “March 11 doesn’t define you. It will shape you but it doesn’t define you. You have done a great job today telling us your stories. Keep up the good work. I am proud of you.” Later on the bus one of the Mount Sinai medical students asked if he could ask me a question. “sure” “You told your daughters not to let 9/11 define you but everything you do is about 9/11. Wouldn’t it be easier to just not deal with it. To just move on.” I made a few comments and said “I have to think about what you said and will get back to you.”  I have actually thought about that idea before by doing tours and speaking about September 11, I am allowing it to define me.The next morning at breakfast I said “I have to tell you this right now. It will seem totally random but I am tired and if I don’t say it now I will forget. Remember yesterday and our conversation about all the things I do being allowing September 11 to define me, that is wrong. All I do defines September 11.”

       

      Japan 038

      Posted in daily life, September 11, Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged Japan, little things, randomness, September 11, telling the next generation, travel
    • One WTC

      Posted at 7:13 pm by missannsays, on June 4, 2014

      Last Wednesday I had the opportunity to go to the “top of 1 WTC”. Well it wasn’t actually the top, it was the 88th floor. And that may not seem impressive to some people but may I remind you that the shortest building on the World Trade Center site is 72 stories. 88 stories is 16 stories higher than 4 WTC which is taller than any building in Boston, Philadelphia or Seattle. So I guess New York and Chicago people can comment that 88 stories isn’t that high but let me tell you it was high.

      It was really interesting to be on the “other side of the fence”. I saw the transportation hub up close and personal. The front or is it the back reminds me of a Samaria helmet. The lobby of 1 WTC was cool to see as well. The elevator ride was quick and the only disappointing thing was the windows on the 88th floor were really dirty. Since the building isn’t completed clean windows are not a priority. It was also a cloudy day so between dirty windows and clouds the photos aren’t spectacular but the view was.

      We were also invited to sign the wall – on the concrete not the sheet rock. Since May 28 is my daughter’s anniversary I made mention of that as well as telling Bruce that he would have loved the view. I went to the “top” because it was an amazing opportunity that not everyone has. I also went to the top because that is so something that Bruce would have done. Many years ago when we were first married and I was not adventurous at all, Bruce had called me a chicken sh*t. Considering we were at Action Park when he said that I was probably erring on the side of safety. Anyway, I was totally shocked that he had called me that and it ended in a good laugh and an apology. Really on some level it was true, not appropriate to say but partially true. I don’t think it is true anymore. There are many things I have no desire to do but there are more things I am willing to try now than I would have when I was younger that almost seems counterintuitive but really what do I have to lose.

      transportation hub
      1WTC
      lobby of 1 WTC

      towards brooklyn
      zooming in
      towards NJ

      note I left on the wall
      88th floor
      Memorial from above

      Posted in September 11 | 0 Comments | Tagged family, September 11
    • National September 11 Memorial & Museum

      Posted at 8:48 pm by missannsays, on May 18, 2014

      This afternoon I visited the National September 11 Museum. I was a little apprehensive about going. To give you a point of reference for “where I am coming from”, I have never been to the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC. I have always known that it would be too much for me. And in thinking about the fact that I have never been to the Holocaust Museum I wondered how much harder a museum I have a personal connection to would be to visit. I decided to go today because as a family member I wanted to see what had been included about Bruce. I also went because as a docent for the Tribute Center I felt I should be able to make intelligent comments about it. So here are a few of my thoughts:

      1. I believe that the museum will do what is intended to do teach future generations about the events of September 11, 2001 as well as teach about the World Trade Center and terrorism.

      2. I believe that the sheer size of Foundation Hall speaks volumes to the enormity of the event.

      3. I am grateful that the memorial section is separate from the historical section.

      4. I think there is a tremendous amount of information available to you if you want to read, listen and see all that has been included.

      5. I think the future members of the Van Hine family tree will get a glimpse of who Bruce was and what he did as a firefighter on that day. They will also hear my voice speaking about him.

      6. I think I will probably go back to the memorial part but there is no value to me personally in reading, seeing and listening to all that is included in the historical part.

      7. I will continue to do walking tours of the Memorial for the Tribute Center and whoever asks me. I will continue be part of the pilot project between the Tribute Center and the Museum to bring “we were there” presentations to Museum visitors. And I will continue to share my story with whomever asks but I will not be volunteering at the Museum.

      001

      002

      Posted in September 11 | 1 Comment | Tagged September 11, telling the next generation
    • The class of 1964

      Posted at 8:48 pm by missannsays, on May 17, 2014

      083

      Last fall I received an email from a Facebook friend of my sister-in-law’s. After a brief introduction of who was emailing me, the sender explained that her husband is a 1964 graduate of West Point and she would like to schedule a tour of the Memorial during their 50th reunion weekend. She also mentioned it would be 100 people. I quickly suggested she contact the Tribute Center and forwarded her the information. I did say that I was more than willing to be one of walking tour docents but 100 people will require more than one guide. Through the months arrangements were made for the group to visit Tribute but because of the opening of the Museum the group was told that the Memorial may not be open on May 17 but they were welcome to meet with a docent in gallery 5 instead of a walking tour.

      So this morning I traveled into the Tribute Center to speak to 100 people in 2 groups of 50. As I thought about who this group was, I realized as 1964 graduates of USMA at West Point these men most likely went to Vietnam. As graduates of the USMA, they had served their nation, my nation. I realized as I was growing up they were servicing our country.

      Well, due to traffic and more traffic I arrived at the Tribute Center at 10:28 for a 10:30 group.Just in time for the group but these folks had arrived early so they were waiting for me. I quickly put my jacket and purse in a locker, grabbed some photos and walked into gallery 5. The gentleman in charge of the group pulled me aside and said “before you start speaking I would like to introduce you to the group.” Okay, I had never met this man but his wife was the one who had emailed me and set everything up. He got everyone’s attention using some military jargon and proceeded to introduce me. He mentioned I was an email friend of his wife, that Richard* had been a firefighter and had been killed on September 11. He commented that he had found a YouTube video of me speaking at a Christian college and suggested everyone watch it. 🙂 One of the things I had said in that video had really stuck with him. He stated that I had said “Bruce’s decision to enter the building on September 11 had been made long before September 11. Just as Christ’s decision to go to cross was made long before the Garden.” He went onto say that “23 members of the class of 1964 had died in Vietnam and 1 had died in the Dominican Republic.” He also said “that their decision to serve their country had been made on the parade ground on July 5, 1964 as they (we) raised our right hand and took the oath. Actually it had been made before that.” He also commented that duty is a form of love. He then introduced another man who handed me their class coin and announced I was an honorary member of the class of 1964. I was overwhelmed and humbled. I thanked them for their service, made reference to the fact that Bruce had been a firefighter at West Point before being FDNY and then told my September 11 story.

      When I finished, I did it one more time. The man who introduced me the first time, introduced me a second time and joked there wasn’t another coin. Wow!! I can’t believe I got one coin. I am ever amazed at the opportunities I am given. I am ever humbled by meeting the class of 1964. I am also very glad that the class of 1964 did actually get to go onto the Memorial after they finished at Tribute and they had a beautiful weather to boot.

      *Richard Bruce Van Hine was my husband’s full name. People who knew him referred to him as Bruce. The gentleman today referred to him as Richard and even mentioned to the second group that I called my husband Bruce but he would refer to him as Richard. I thought that showed respect.

      Posted in daily life, faith, respect in the real world, September 11 | 2 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, friendship, respect, September 11
    • Heed my own words

      Posted at 11:26 am by missannsays, on May 16, 2014

      This morning the radio newscaster announced “the fences are down and the Museum is open to the families and the first responders.” I thought I would throw up. As I drove and pondered those words, I realized I needed to heed my own words. There are two issues that occupy my thoughts lately.

      “The fences are down for the first time since September 11, 2001” almost overwhelms me with fear. I have been leading walking tours around and on the Memorial for 8 years. There has always been a fence. A fence around an empty hole and then around a construction site. A fence around the Memorial that allowed me one place of entry. A fence that kept me out and then kept me safe and now it is gone. My mind races with thoughts what if I am on the Memorial and some wacko does some wacko thing? Am I responsible for the visitors on my tour? What if I am with a group of children or teens? Do I have a plan? And then I remember what I say to the students “be aware, not afraid!”.

      “The Museum is open to families and first responders” is another source of anxiety. I have seen the space, just the sheer size is overwhelming but what about the exhibits. As I ponder my upcoming visit, I know it will be difficult but I wonder will I be able to do it. And then I remember something else I say to friends and family when they visit the Tribute Center “be kind to yourself. Look at what you can look at, listen to what you can listen to and skip the rest.”

      I have said many times when speaking about my faith in relation to September 11 “that in the beginning I hid behind God then He carried me and then He put me down to walk.” I know He will supply what I need but sometimes I just need to remind myself. Below are the words to a song by Matt Redman that is currently my friendly reminder of how far I have traveled and how faithful God is. You can find a video on YouTube.

      “Never Once”

      Standing on this mountaintop
      Looking just how far we’ve come
      Knowing that for every step
      You were with us

      Kneeling on this battle ground
      Seeing just how much You’ve done
      Knowing every victory
      Was Your power in us

      Scars and struggles on the way
      But with joy our hearts can say
      Yes, our hearts can say

      Never once did we ever walk alone
      Never once did You leave us on our own
      You are faithful, God, You are faithful

      Kneeling on this battle ground
      Seeing just how much You’ve done
      Knowing every victory
      Was Your power in us

      Scars and struggles on the way
      But with joy our hearts can say
      Yes, our hearts can say

      Never once did we ever walk alone
      Never once did You leave us on our own
      You are faithful, God, You are faithful
      You are faithful, God, You are faithful

      Scars and struggles on the way
      But with joy our hearts can say
      Never once did we ever walk alone
      Carried by Your constant grace
      Held within Your perfect peace
      Never once, no, we never walk alone

      Never once did we ever walk alone
      Never once did You leave us on our own
      You are faithful, God, You are faithful

      Every step we are breathing in Your grace
      Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
      You are faithful, God, You are faithful
      You are faithful, God, You are faithful

      You are faithful, God, You are faithful
      You are faithful, God, You are faithful

      001

      Posted in daily life, faith, September 11 | 4 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, September 11
    • Travel Tuesdays S2E2 – 9/11 Memorial Museum

      Posted at 5:16 pm by missannsays, on May 13, 2014

      museum opening

      The National September 11 Memorial Museum will open to the public on Wednesday May 21, 2014. On Thursday May 15, there will be a dedication ceremony and for one week the museum will be open 24 hours a day to allow family members, 9/11 rescue and recovery workers, survivors, lower Manhattan residents and first responders from agencies that lost members to view the museum. The President and First Lady will attend the dedication ceremony. “Stakeholders” were selected by lottery to attend. I know a couple of my fellow docents who are attending and look forward to hearing their accounts of the event. The ceremony will be available for viewing on the National September 11 Memorial Museum website. I will not be attending the dedication. I will be visiting the Museum on Sunday May 18. It is actually my second visit.

      My first visit was in May of 2012. At that time the Museum was still more of a construction site than a museum. I was however struck by the size of the space. It was massive. The museum takes you down to bedrock to the original “bathtub walls”. To see the walls I had spoken of so many during walking tours was amazing. We were allowed to take photos but were not allowed to post them on social media. I assume the statute of limitations has run out on that as the Museum has been featured on Sixty Minutes, etc…
      050

      As the museum opening approaches, there is an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. In one way I am glad it is finally opening but in another way the opening makes it all so real. It is hard to explain but the Museum opening is kind of the last piece in the September 11 story. Once the doors open it seems like the story is set in stone. But part of me believes the story is still being written. I believe there are still stories to be shared and learned from. I guess John W. Gardner’s quote sums it up for me “History never looks like history when you are living through it.”

      Please remember to say a prayer for those who the Museum opening is another chapter in that unwritten handbook “a personal loss (or story) in the midst of a national tragedy”. I will blog about my visit in the near future.

      Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged respect, September 11
    • doesn’t it make you sad?

      Posted at 4:34 pm by missannsays, on April 11, 2014

      001 The other day a friend asked me a question that I have been asked before, “doesn’t doing tours and speaking to school groups make you relive September 11? Doesn’t being at the WTC make you sad?” I responded “No, it makes me feel blessed. I don’t associate the WTC site with Bruce. It is harder to be at his firehouse because that is where I think of him as being. I am tired after a tour but feel that I have accomplished something but mostly I am hungry.” 🙂 It is strange but I don’t picture Bruce being at the WTC site. I know he was there but I don’t try to imagine him there on the fateful day. I do sometimes think that he may have walked down Liberty Street on his way into the South Tower that thought gives me comfort as I walk that same street telling his story.

      In further conversation with my friend I shared what does make me sad or allows memories to seep or rush in is the things I hear on the radio or news. The crash of the Malaysian airliner, the anniversary of the Boston Marathon Bombing, a mudslide in Washington, the death of 2 firefighters in Boston or a police officer in New York give me pause and cause me to pray for the families because on some level the events are a “repeat” of what I have experienced. An event that captures the attention of the nation or even world, a loved one lost but no body, an act of terrorism, a line of duty death, I can identify and so I pray. I pray that their families will have peace and know that there is hope. I pray that people will gather around them as people gathered around me and my girls. I pray that in the not so distant future they will have strength to put one foot in front of other and smile. My heart is sad that another family will know the saddest that I know, that they will have to navigate a journey they never expected to be on. 😦

      On another note: when I was in the stall in Ladies Room at the Tribute Center on Monday, the lights suddenly went out and I thought this is not happening, give me a break. Then a voice said “sorry” and lights went back on. Someone had leaned against the light switch. I laughed because I was in fight or flight mode within a split second. No PTSD here. 🙂

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged prayer, random thoughts, respect, September 11
    • landmark moments

      Posted at 6:56 pm by missannsays, on March 24, 2014

      land·mark (lănd′märk′) n.
      1. A prominent identifying feature of a landscape.
      2. A fixed marker, such as a concrete block, that indicates a boundary line.
      3. An event marking an important stage of development or a turning point in history.
      4. A building or site with historical significance, especially one marked for preservation by a municipal or national government.

      adj.
      Having great import or significance: a landmark court ruling

      Today was a landmark moment for the family and friends of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. Today the words they had feared and dreaded were spoken aloud for all to hear. Oh, they were first said to those closest to the event but they were repeated for the world to hear.

      “It’s with deep sadness and regret that I must inform you that according to this new data, Flight 370 ended in the southern Indian Ocean.”

      I can identify with “landmark moments” that the world shares. I remember vividly a meeting on September 18, 2001 in a NYC hotel. The mayor, the governor, the head of the FDNY all there to tell the FDNY families “we are going from rescue to recovery”. Oh, we knew first but within hours the world would know. See, when I am the “world” during a landmark moment, there is a sense of that is done, what’s next. The moment/event starts to fade from the headlines. But when I am the “first to know” there is a sense of utter disbelief, my hope wanes, my mind spins and I grasp for something to hold onto. My prayer for the families of flight 370 is simple “may they find peace, may they find strength, may they find hope, may they know God loves them”

      Today was also a landmark moment for the September 11, 2001 community. Today the opening date (May 21, 2014) for the National September 11 Museum was announced. Another landmark…
      http://911memorial.io/ONA3lS

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged respect, September 11
    • random thoughts from 60 years of life:

      Posted at 9:39 pm by missannsays, on February 11, 2014

      when I was kid:

      1. there were 9 planets.

      2. adults were called Mr. or Mrs.

      3. television when off the air and started each morning with a photo of the  American flag and the playing of the National Anthem.

      4. the president was assassinated .

      5. we practiced for nuclear attacks.

       

      when I was a teen:

      1. MLK and RFK were assassinated.

      2. men walked on the moon.

      3. I believed  “to live is to dance, to dance is to live”

      4. my male classmates had draft numbers

      5. POWs came home from Vietnam

       

      when I was in my 20’s

      1. I studied dance, voice and acting in NYC and auditioned for Broadway shows

      2. I went to college part-time.

      3. I started a business with my best friend

      4. I meet my hubby and got married

      5. drove across country with my sister and sister-in-law. I went to England and France with my bff.

       

      when I was in my 30’s

      1. I had 1 miscarriage and gave birth to 2 daughters

      2. “have dance will travel” taught  dance in many places to many people

      3. was Sunday School Superintendent in my local church

      4. my hubby became a FDNY firefighter

      5. the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded

       

       when I was in my 40’s

      1. Life had a more balanced rhythm.

      2. we got a dog.

      3. vacations –  England, Prince Edward Island, National Park Tour, Houseboat rental, camping…

      4. Oklahoma City bombing and September 11 happened.

      5. I became a widow.

       

      when I was in my 50’s

      1. my daughters got married.

      2. my brother and  my dad died.

      3. I spoke in NJ, NY, PA, CA, NH, TN, KS, Northern Ireland and Japan.

      4. I had breast cancer and I am now five years cancer free.

      5. I retired from my dancing school.

       

      on February 13, I will turn 60 and I can say:

      “Scars and struggles on the way

      But with joy our hearts can say

      Never once did we ever walk alone

      Carried by Your constant grace

      Held within Your perfect peace

      Never once, no, we never walk alone.

      Never once did we ever walk alone

      Never once did You leave us on our own

      You are faithful, God, You are faithful

      You are faithful, God, You are faithful”

       Never Once by Matt Redman

       

      Posted in daily life, memories, September 11 | 3 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, friendship, kid stuff, randomness, September 11, telling the next generation, travel
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