Miss Ann Says

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Miss Ann Says
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    • a silver bracelet, a buffet and bread

      Posted at 6:23 pm by missannsays, on August 16, 2012

      My aunt died this past weekend. She had taken a terrible fall last November and after months in the hospital and rehab she had gone home. She was doing quite well when other health issues would get the best of her. She fought the good fight but her body could only take so much. My heart is broken for my uncle, cousins and their families. She will be missed. My aunt and uncle and I shared something very special. We had the same wedding day – June 14. I was actually the flower girl in my aunt and uncle’s wedding. To be honest, I don’t remember that event because I was only 4 years old. I have however seen many a photo and for many years I had a small silver  bracelet that my aunt and uncle had given me on June 14, 1958.  I have fond memories of looking at it in my mom’s jewelry box and her saying “that is yours”. When Bruce and I were planning our wedding we picked June 14 as our date. Mainly because his mom had always joked that she would put the “flag out” when he got married. Thus June 14 being Flag Day seemed perfect.  So on June 14, 1980 Bruce and I were married and that silver  bracelet given me by my aunt and uncle was passed along to my flower girl, Bruce’s niece.

       

      On another note, the “Ho Chi Minh” has a new home. (See 5/26 blog) This past Friday my daughter and I met at my parent’s house and loaded the “Ho Chi Minh” into her car for the journey to PA. Last evening she sent me a photo of the buffet fondly called the Ho Chi Minh proudly displayed in her dining area. It seems perfect that it has been passed along to the next generation.

       

      Lately I have been pondering this whole concept of remembering.  The thought that keeps coming to mind is communion “do this in remembrance of me”. A simple cup of wine and a piece of bread. Such ordinary every day items used to remember the greatest sacrifice ever made. And maybe that is the point it is in the every day that we remember.

      Posted in daily life, faith, memories, relationships | 0 Comments | Tagged little things, telling the next generation
    • A little bit of this & a little bit of that

      Posted at 4:07 pm by missannsays, on August 1, 2012

      Recently heard:

           “It isn’t about design” spoken by a 10-year-old boy during a “timed tower building challenge” at church.

      “Just because it is hard, it doesn’t mean it is interesting.” spoken by my son-in-law while watching Olympic men’s gymnastics.

      After circling the parking area in Rehoboth Beach more than once, a car pulls out. “Yes” – me “It is a handicapped spot” – my daughter, “I have nanny’s permit in the glove compartment” – me,  A gasp of  total disbelief from both of my daughters, “desperate times, call for desperate measures” –  me.  Luckily it wasn’t actually a handicapped spot. It was so funny how shocked my girls were that I said that. 🙂

      “bats in the belfry or the bedroom”

      While unpacking from vacation, I walked into my daughter’s bedroom and notice a large bug above the closet door. Wait, that is not a bug, it is a bat. I promptly scream, throw the bag I was putting away and slam the bedroom door. My daughter asks what’s wrong. I tell her about the bat and she puts a rolled up towel at the foot of the door. I momentarily thing about using the colander to push the bat to the floor and then maneuver it outside. I realize that probably won’t work and decide to call a friend’s husband, who so very graciously drives over and gets the bat out of the house. Thank you, thank you.

      I am reminded of a couple of previous bat adventures. Camp is famous for having bats which is fine as long as the campers don’t freak out. My brain and many camper/counselor brains understand that in theory bats are good because they eat insects but when they are flying around – not so much. Each night at light’s out I would need to go with my co director to check that the campers were settled down for the night. Some of the camping areas had Adirondack shelters aka “bus shelters”. An Adirondack shelter  is a three-sided shelter with a canvas tarp on the front. Inside there are two bunk beds and a dresser. Anyway as we walk up towards the camping area, we see a bat circling around the light catching bugs. We were expecting to see frighten campers but  instead the girls are just getting ready for bed. Quietly we ask the counselor if she has noticed the bat. “Yes, we have and his name is Henry” For some reason naming the bat, made it okay for the campers – that was a smart counselor.

      My other bat story involves a bat that had made a couple of appearances in our home. One Wednesday evening when Bruce and I returned home from prayer meeting, the girls weren’t home which was upsetting because where were they? They were at my neighbor’s house. In the hour and a half Bruce and I had been gone, a bat had been in the house. My daughters had been watching television and a bat was flying around the living room. They had run next door to our neighbors. Anyway, Bruce does a through sweep of the house and can’t find it. He states with some authority that “it must have flown out”. So we go to bed and in the middle of the night, I can feel the air above my head pulsating – swosh, swosh. I don’t open my eyes because I know the bat is right there. I elbow my husband many times, as I whisper “Bruce, Bruce” and finally he wakes up. I don’t remember how he finally got the bat but I can vividly remember the air swishing above my head. It freaks me out just to think about it. I guess two bats in my house in 28 years isn’t bad but no bats would have been better.

      Posted in daily life, kid stuff, memories | 1 Comment | Tagged kid stuff, little things
    • Family vacation 2012

      Posted at 5:29 pm by missannsays, on July 27, 2012

       This is the view from the beach house we have rented for “family vacation”. For the last few years some time  between Thanksgiving and New Years my daughters will ask “is there family vacation next year?” To which I respond “do you want to go on family vacation?” Family vacation is code for mom plans and mom pays. I am blest that my girls and their guys want to go on vacation with me and that I can afford to do that. The planning usually starts in January with “where should we go and when are you available?” This year there were emails back and forth with links to possible beach houses. And by the beginning of February the beach house was reserved for the third week in July.

      I enjoy beach vacations but I am a brat so I want to be right on the beach and I want nothing to do but be with my family, read, chat and sip ice tea. This year’s family vacation is in Broadkill Beach, Delaware. The beach house is a block from the bay. It is a short walk over the dunes to the beach. The weather has been great a little warm but if you sit right at the edge of water you don’t feel as hot. My youngest daughter’s golden retriever has joined us complete with his own life jacket and water toys. I have read 2 books (A Secret Kept by Tatina De Rosnay and The Bridge of San Luis Rey by Thorton Wilder) and been able to watch  5 episodes Newsroom – the new Alan Sorkin drama on HBO. I don’t have HBO so it was exciting to learn the beach house did. We also have played Wits and Wagers – fun game.

      I have had the opportunity to share with my daughters stories of other beach adventures. As a child I remember going to Blackpool to visit my Uncle Bill. As a child, Blackpool was a magical place. There was Blackpool Tower, the circus, trolleys going up and down the boardwalk, fish and chips, donkey rides on the beach. The beach was huge and you could walk out “forever”.  I have a vivid memory of playing soccer with my brother and sister, when suddenly my brother when flying across the beach. He had slipped on something – a jelly fish. There were many jellyfish on the beach that summer. We would later learn that because of a change in the Gulf stream there were man of war in Blackpool. Yuck.  On another note, because Blackpool is in England, you don’t water a bathing suit on the beach – it is too cold. Another beach memory is taking my “little sister” to the Jersey Shore, Sandy Hook to be exact. My “little sister” is 12 years younger than I am so when I was old enough to drive she was still young. I remember standing at the edge of the water and a big wave came and knocked us over. Luckily I was holding her hand and I kept holding on to her – that was scary.  As a teenager, I have memories of day trips to the shore with friends – baby oil, little bikinis and Parkway traffic. I remember snorkeling with Bruce on our honeymoon in St Thomas and being afraid of the fish. His comment was “you are the one who isn’t suppose to be here – this is where they live” Family trips when my girls were young to Wildwood Crest, Island Beach State Park and North Carolina. And trips to the beaches of St Thomas with my girls when they were in high school. And family vacations with my sister and her family to North Carolina and Rhode Island.

      As I was packing for this trip, I realized I didn’t have to pack sand toys. No one is building sand castles on this trip to the beach. Things change. But the waves continue to roll in and out. And family vacation becomes more and more precious.

      Posted in books, daily life, memories, relationships | 2 Comments | Tagged little things, reading list
    • Epic fail or was it???

      Posted at 3:47 pm by missannsays, on July 16, 2012

      I taught Sunday School yesterday and near the end of the class one of the 4th grade boys commented “is this story about the same  Abraham who helped settle things with the black and white people?” At first I wasn’t sure what he meant and then I realized he was talking about Abraham Lincoln. What?? Really I just taught this lesson on Abraham and Lot. I made sure we found the “story” in the Bible – “Genesis  chapter 13- big number 13, verses 1- 18 –  little numbers 1-18” I commented that I was reading it in story form but the same story is in the Bible. After the class was over, I thought the whole class was an epic fail. I mean I read the story, we acted it out, we did this fun through the soda can game, we threw marshmallows and we had lively discussion about each part of the lesson. A fun time was had by all but he thinks the story is about Abraham Lincoln. The more I tried to figure out where I went wrong, I realized something. He got the lesson. According to the curriculum, the lesson aim is “to help kids learn that God wants us to be peacemakers”. I also had another thought I have no idea what the kids are learning. My responsibility is to be prepared, to faithfully present the lesson to the best of my ability, to love my students and enjoy our time together.  So as a word of encouragement to parents and teachers, don’t give up because they may miss the facts but they may be learning the lesson.

      Posted in faith, kid stuff | 2 Comments | Tagged kid stuff, telling the next generation
    • Go,Dog,Go

      Posted at 11:32 am by missannsays, on July 9, 2012

      Two weeks ago while running errands with my mom I had stopped by her home to pick up something that she wanted at her “new” home at the assisting living facility. I had left the front door open and gone upstairs to search for the item. I wasn’t sure if it was in one of the few boxes still in the house or if it was in the many boxes in my garage. As I turned to exit the bedroom there was a dog standing there.  A pit bull. I screamed. He wagged his tail. I pretend to like dogs but I am very cautious with dogs. So I am “saying go home doggie, go home.” I am waving my arms and he is acting like he has found a new friend. I finally “shoo” him outside but he is all happy. He thinks I am playing. I try to reach for his collar to see where he lives but at the same time I am remembering every headline I have ever seen about “pit bull attacks someone”. I am also thinking if this dog bites me my mom will try to get out of the car and she will fall and I can’t do this, give me a break. So this scenario is running in my head. And my mom is in the car watching and smiling. My mom’s home is on a very busy street and even though I am afraid of this dog I don’t want him to get hit by a car.  So I decided that just leaving is best thing so I lock up the house and my new friend Mr Pit Bull is still right there. I again encourage him to go home. He isn’t listening. I open the car door to get in and you guessed it Mr Pit Bull jumps right in my car. My mother is laughing I am on the verge of tears because  I am afraid of this dog. I yell at him to get out and he finally does. I jump in and lock the door. My mom is still laughing and I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry. It was good to see my mom laugh but I couldn’t have been eaten by a pit bull and my mom could have fallen and…. I have a vivid imagination.

      “His thoughts said, I dreamt a distressing dream last night….His Father said, When did I promise to give strength and grace in a dream of the night? My grace is for that which is, not for that which may never be.”  His Thoughts said…His Father said… by Amy Carmichael

      Posted in daily life, faith | 0 Comments | Tagged little things
    • what if…

      Posted at 1:08 pm by missannsays, on July 4, 2012

      This is really a continuation of my last post – Respect in the Real World -4th of July & book club.  At book club, one comment that was made more than once last evening was “I wonder what I would do if…?”. I don’t think we can know what we would do in any given situation until we are in that situation. Projecting what we hope we would do isn’t necessarily helpful. I feel knowing what we believe, what we cherish, what to us is not negotiable is of utmost importance. But until we are in a situation we can’t know what we will do or how we will react.

      I remember hearing a story about Corrie ten Boom about what if…. I don’t remember the whole story but the part that has stuck with me and I tried to instill in my own children went something like this: Corrie had asked her father “how will I know what to do when _____happens? How will I get through_____”. Her father told her a story. “When we are going on a journey by train when do I give you the ticket?” Corrie responded “when we start the journey, when we get on the train.” Her father stated “And God will give you what you need when you need it. He will give his grace when you need it.”

      I have a vivid memory from September 2001 of sitting on the floor of my living room with my daughters and sister and asking them “Where do you think daddy is right now?” And they answered “in heaven”. I said “it is time to plan a memorial service”. And then I said something like this “I have no idea how we are going to get through this but if a week ago someone had told me we would have to go through what we have already gone through, I never would have believed them. God has gotten us through the last week and we had moments of sadness but we also had moments of peace and even laughter. And He will give us what we need when we need it.” And He has.

      Posted in books, faith, memories, September 11 | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, prayer, September 11
    • Respect in the Real World – 4th of July and book club

      Posted at 12:13 pm by missannsays, on July 4, 2012

      Last night I attended my monthly book club at the public library. Our book  for the month of June had been The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway. What an amazing book and what a wonderful discussion. “The Sarajevo in this novel is only one small part of the real city and its people, as imagined by the author. This is above all else a work of fiction.”  It is fiction set in a real event in the recent past and that may be what makes it so chilling. More than once during our discussion last evening someone commented “why, don’t I remember this. why wasn’t I aware of this.”  I defaulted to “maybe the media wasn’t reporting it. Maybe it wasn’t in front of us.” But that isn’t a reason not to be informed. There was also discussion about what it must be like to live with war waging around you. We shared stories of images seen during childhood that shaped us today. We also wondered what would we do in those circumstances would we be brave, would we be our “brother’s keeper”.

      “The city he lives in is full of people who will someday go  back to treating each other like humans. The war will end, and when it’s looked back upon it will be with regret, not with fond memories of faded glory.  In the meantime, he will continue to walk the streets. Streets that will not have dead and discarded bodies lying in them. He will behave now as he hopes everyone will someday behave. Because civilization isn’t a thing that you build and then there it is, you have it forever. It needs to be built constantly, re-created daily. It vanishes far more quickly than he ever would have thought possible. And if he wishes to live, he must do what he can to prevent the world he wants to live in from fading away. As long as there’s war, life is a preventable measure.”

      I have been pondering that quote in light of today being the  4th of July – America’s birthday.  I am grateful to the men and women serving in our military  whether at home or overseas. I am saddened that their families will have empty chairs at the tables due to deployment or even worse due to the ultimate sacrifice. I also feel that as a nation there are “wars” waging within our borders – poverty, unemployment, healthcare reform, care of the aged, immigration, religious freedoms,etc… Mr. Galloway, I hope you don’t mind but I  tweaked Dragan’s thoughts on page 151 of  The Cellist of Sarajevo for the 4th of July, 2012 – “The country she lives in is full of people who will someday go back to treating each other like humans. The issues/problems will be resolved and when they are looked back upon it will be with regret, not with fond memories of faded glory and which party won. She will behave now as she hopes everyone will someday behave with respect for her fellow countrymen. Because civilization isn’t a thing that you build and then there it is, you have it forever. It needs to be built constantly, re-created daily. It vanishes far more quickly than she ever would have thought possible. And if she wishes to live, she must do what she can to prevent the world  she wants to live in from fading away. “

      Posted in books, daily life, respect in the real world | 0 Comments | Tagged reading list, respect
    • a sticky situation

      Posted at 8:25 pm by missannsays, on July 1, 2012

      I traveled to the Barn to host my friend’s daughter’s 13th birthday party.  I braced myself for an overnight adventure that included giggles, whispers, shrieks, no sleep and “drama”. It was December so there was much to do when we arrived- turn on the water, turn up the electric heat and start a fire. For whatever reason, I opened one of the lower kitchen cabinets and noticed a caramel colored liquid. I assumed a can of soda had frozen and exploded so I quickly closed the cabinet and decided to deal with it later. “Let’s get the girls fed and then they can go in the hot tub.” The tacos my friend made were a yummy success and the party goers decided to go in the hot tub. “Perfect” they can go in the hot tub while we clean up from dinner and then I can tackle the soda spill.

      The table was cleared, dishwasher loaded, and leftovers put in the refrigerator. Ok, time to empty the bottom cabinet and see how much “damage” the exploding soda did. SURPRISE!! There was a dead mouse stuck in the soda. I hate mice especially dead mice that are petrified in a caramel colored liquid. So the clean up began. Bad news. There are no rubber gloves so plastic grocery bags served that purpose.  I put the plastic bag over my right hand, reached into the cabinet without looking, closed my eyes and grabbed the mouse. But it was stuck, really stuck. It won’t move. Between my squeals of disbelieve and groans of dismay, my friend’s older daughter suggested pouring hot water on the sticky liquid. Did I mention the birthday girl and guests were outside and this situation needed to be resolved without their knowledge? Alas, the hot water worked and I finally loosen the mouse. Gross. Upon further investigation I realized there was a second dead mouse. So the clean up continued, more plastic bags, a whole roll of paper towel and success. All cleaned up. Just then door to the deck opened and the birthday girl shouted “Mom, I have been yelling for you. What are you doing in here?” Oh if you only knew 🙂

      There was still the question of what happened? Too much liquid to be a can of soda and then I saw it a giant warehouse size bottle of pancake syrup with a hole in the side. I guess one little mouse found a sweet treat and invited a friend to join him and they both got stuck.  There must be some life lesson  in that.

      Posted in daily life, memories, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged little things
    • Respect in the Real World – “cutting in line”

      Posted at 9:49 pm by missannsays, on June 26, 2012

      Yesterday I had the opportunity to hear Dan Rather speak as part of the Auditorium Speaker series at the American Library Association Conference in Anaheim, CA.    I was a little worried that the Dan Rather I had remembered watching on television would not be the Dan Rather I would hear speak.  He did not disappoint. To be honest he was “plugging” his new book, Rather Unspoken, but he told amazing stories and issued a cautionary tale of the future of our news agencies that are presently controlled by large international corporations. Very interesting and thought-provoking.  After his presentations there was a book signing. So myself and  many other people got on the line to get his book.  We assumed we would be purchasing the book but it was actually free. 🙂

      It took a few moments to figure out which way the line was going but within minutes we had all fallen into a “que”. There were two young women right in front of me who seemed to know each other.  For the sake of the story we will call them Friend One and Friend Two. Friend One was holding a boxed easel, portfolio and other supplies.  Her arms were full.  It appeared to me she may be giving a presentation at some point.  Behind me were three ladies who also knew each other. There was small talk and this being the year 2012 many people myself included were busily looking at their smart phones.  After a few minutes I realized there was someone new (Friend 3) standing in front of me.  I thought where did you come from, did I miss seeing you standing there.  The lady behind me caught my eye and gave me a knowing look and commented she wasn’t there before.  I thought “oh well that is a little rude but whatever”.  Now there are three young women in front of me who seem to be friends. Are you confused yet?  Friend One with the easel asks if Friend Two to hold her place in line so she can go deliver the easel to its needed location. “Sure, no problem” So off she goes.

      The line is moving slowing but people are chatting with each other.  Since the line went one direction and then doubled back the person standing to your left  and sometimes right changed depending how far into the “maze” you were. A woman commented to me about my lymphedema sleeve and we had a brief conversation about being cancer survivors. I notice that a man’s name badge says Qatar and commented that he is far from home.  There are several comments wondering about if there will be enough books.  Then a woman comes by and she is counting the number of people in line.  She stops less than 10 people behind me and says “after this person we can’t promise that you will get a book. You are welcome to stand in line and meet Mr Rather but you probably won’t get a book.”

      Friend Two and Friend Three have been talking and seem oblivious to the”count”.  I say “excuse me but the woman just counted all of us and you may want to tell her that your friend isn’t here so she can include her in the count” Friend Two looks concerned, thanks me and gets out of line to go talk to the “chief counter and line organizer”.  She comes back and states that they can’t hold a place for Friend One.  She seems genuinely upset.  In my mind I am thinking Friend Three should get out of line and give the spot to Friend One.  I mean Friend One was there first.  Granted she did leave but her arms were full. I can hear soft whispers from the ladies behind – oh my, how is this going to go down. After awhile Friend One finally returns and Friend Two shares the bad news. Friend One goes to talk to the “chief counter and line organizer” and we can all see much head shaking. Friend One walks back and states that she wasn’t counted and has no book and  then stares at Friend Three. I think she excepted her to give up her spot since Friend Three had elbowed her way in.  But Friend Three doesn’t  say a word and she doesn’t make eye contact. There is a pause and Friend One walks away, Friend Two seems embarrassed and Friend Three is checking her phone.  And what really make this whole situation fascinating was the day before  Dan Ariely , author of  Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions had given a presentation on studies he has done on “cheating”. Wow, I think this book signing line could have been part of his study.

      I do now own a signed copy of Rather Unspoken as do Friend Two and “Friend” Three as well as the ladies behind me.

      Posted in daily life, respect in the real world | 0 Comments | Tagged little things, respect
    • Where I am today

      Posted at 10:31 pm by missannsays, on June 20, 2012

      I am writing this blog while I am sitting in a library.  Which isn’t an unusual thing for me, I love libraries. What is unusual is where the library is. The library I am sitting in is in Holy Cross Monastery.  There are no voices to be heard because it is after 9:00pm – the Great Silence has begun.  Until 8:30 tomorrow morning there will not be idle chatter or cell phone calls or deep conversations. In the morning, there will be bells tolling, monks chanting, and delicious food being served at breakfast. Holy Cross Monastery is a beautiful 110-year-old monastery overlooking the Hudson River.  It is situated right across the river from the Vanderbilt Mansion.  There is a certain feel of the building and the big black doors that remind me of my fifth grade field trip to the cloisters in NYC.  The chanting of the monks also reminds me of visiting the market and the cathedral in Chester.  Chester is a walled city in the north of England.  My mother’s hometown is Chester, England. The summer between my fifth and sixth grade year I would spend 6 weeks in England  visiting my grandfather, great-grandmother and my “cool” uncle.  My “cool” uncle was only 10 years older than me. He was into popular music and “cool” stuff.  Once when he visited my hometown of Waldwick, NJ he was mistaken for one of the Beatles. He was the right age, had the hair cut and the accent but he wasn’t John, Paul, George or Ringo.  He was actually chased down our street by a group of young teens.  My cool rating went up.

      My dad would join us in England for 2 of the 6 weeks.  My dad loves history so while he was in England we would visit “every castle in the whole country” or so it seemed to a 12-year-old girl.  My dad would read all those little signs on items in museums and cathedrals and castles.  It would make me crazy but now I get it.  As my dad always said,”travel is wasted on the young”. I am grateful for those experiences but I didn’t appreciate the significance of them at the time.

      I was also reminded today of another experience that I didn’t fully appreciate at the time.  While sitting on the porch today sipping coffee with a fellow workshop attendee, I realized her coffee cup said “Desmond Tutu”.  Years ago, a friend and I preformed a liturgical dance at a service in the Newark Cathedral.  Reverend Desmond Tutu was the keynote speaker.  It amazes me that I had that opportunity. Just wish I had appreciated it at the time.

      In case you are wondering why I am at a monastery.  I am attending a writers workshop.  Actually I am hanging out with some terrific people who someday I will be able to say “oh I knew __________ before they were the best-selling author.  We were at a workshop together”

      Posted in daily life, faith, memories | 3 Comments | Tagged friendship, little things, prayer
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