Miss Ann Says

thoughts from everyday life
Miss Ann Says
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    • Respect in the Real World – Flag Day

      Posted at 10:16 am by missannsays, on June 14, 2012

      Today is Flag Day. It is also my mother’s 80th birthday. My “book club” friend’s birthday. Fifty plus years ago on this day I was a flower girl in my aunt’s and uncle’s wedding. A few years ago my nephew was wed to his true love on this day and they are expecting their first baby. And last but not least thirty-two years ago today, Bruce and I got married in a little white church in New Milford, NJ. Bruce’s mom had also said she would put the flag out the day he got married. Thus we picked Flag Day as our wedding day. That reason and  it was a week after the recital – can’t get married before a recital – too busy. In the days after September 11, 2001, there were flags flying everywhere. I remember commenting that Bruce would have loved seeing that.  I am grateful for the 21 years we shared and look forward to seeing him again when eternity comes.

      I have been pondering the flag the last few days. Thinking about why I am so moved when I see the flag, thinking about what it stands for. I think for me it is a symbol of who we are 50 states made up of millions of people trying to live and thrive together. And we had a small beginning of only 13 colonies and people were willing to give their all so we could be the United States of America and some still give their lives for our freedoms. I am proud to be an American. I love my country. I am saddened that so many of my fellow citizens and non citizens are out of work and out of hope.

      When you look at the rest of the world, we are a young nation. I remember being in England with my girls and there was a poster “rulers of Great Britain” going back thousands of years. I pointed to the last couple of inches on the bottom of the poster and commented “this is how long the USA has been around.” I think of the USA as a teenager. And teenagers think they know it all. Teenagers sometimes make impulsive choices and throw out traditions that they will miss as they get older. Teenagers don’t listen well to older and wiser counsel.  The teenage years don’t last for long and then the real world knocks at the door and you have to take care of yourself. The web site About.com Homeschooling states: “Called the “Stars and Stripes,” or “Old Glory,” the flag is one of the most complicated in the world. No other flag needs 64 pieces of fabric to make. The current flag has 13 red and white alternating stripes (representing the original 13 states) and 50 stars (each star represents one of the states of the Union) on a blue background.The American flag has also changed designs more than any other flag in the world.”  Sounds like us – complicated and changing. Happy Flag Day.

      Posted in faith, memories, respect in the real world, September 11, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged respect, September 11
    • somewhere between Mary Poppins and Mrs Doubtfire

      Posted at 1:02 am by missannsays, on June 13, 2012

      I spend quite a bit of time with children.  Of course when I was teaching dance I spent more time than now. Even now between children’s ministries in my local church or district events or at the Tribute Center, I have at least a “weekly dose” of children. But that is different that spending 24/7.This past week I have been helping to care for my 3 grand-nieces and 1 grand-nephew all under the age of 6.  And I have been reminded of things I forgotten about life with little kids. I had forgotten how long bath time, bedtime and getting in the car can take.

      I had forgotten that little kids have no sense of personal space. Years ago I went to the Indianapolis Children’s Museum. They had this very interesting display of footprints showing how in different cultures people stand different distances apart. The display explained where it is culturally correct to stand. I was reminded of that display this week as I was saying “could you move back a little”, “please don’t stand on my feet”, “you are too close to me”.  Of course the plus side to that is a 3-year-old crawling into your lap and giving you a hug. Or a 2-year-old saying they want to sit next to you at the dinner table.

      I had forgotten that little kids wear more clothes in one day than grown ups wear in a week.  Not because they have gotten dirty but because they change their clothes constantly.  This may be just a girl thing.  I remember my girls doing this especially if they were playing dress up. This week we had daily “fashion shows”  complete with music and many wardrobe changes. Also sizing of children’s clothing is weird.  How can one child wear – 24 months, 2T and 3T.  It makes sorting laundry tricky for visiting aunts.

      I had forgotten that little kids “lie”. Bill Cosby has a great bit about this. You can probably find it on YouTube. Anyway I love how they look you in the face and say what they want to hear. Then when you call them on it, they play the “my mom or my dad said” card.  Which is just their way of trying to pull rank on you. I usually counter with “okay, I will just go ask them”. Wow, I am no fun.

      On Sunday, I joined my niece and her 4 kids at a Bar be que for her MOPS (mother of preschoolers) group.  I was the oldest person there by at least 20 years. Anyway this 4-year-old boy is climbing on the backyard fort/jungle gym and is starting to climb on the top (where kids aren’t suppose to go). I comment to him that maybe that isn’t a good idea and he looks me straight in the face and says “my dad says I can”. So I respond “really maybe you should go confirm that with him.” – he didn’t appreciate that comment.

      At this same party, there was supposed to be a kiddie pool. Since we weren’t sure how the pool thing was going to work, I brought my swimsuit since my niece just had a baby and can’t go in a pool.  My thought was I can put my suit on with my coverup, sit on the side and watch my 3 grand-nieces. Surprise, it is a 4 foot deep above ground pool. There are kids everywhere but no parents in the pool. There is no way the grand-nieces can swim unless Aunt Ann goes in. So I put on my suit and went in. Of course an above ground pool means going up the little ladder, turning around at the top and getting in. Thankfully the water was warm and only 2 out of 3 grand nieces wanted to go in. I was the oldest adult there and the only one in a swimsuit and in the pool.  I felt like I was perceived as somewhere between Mary Poppins and Mrs Doubtfire. I will admit that a couple of the moms asked if I wanted to come and watch their kids for a few days. I can’t believe the situations I get myself into.

      This past week has been terrific. I have snuggled with a newborn, sat next to a 2-year-old at every meal, been delighted to hear a 3-year-old sing VBS songs and taught an almost 6-year-old to play War. I have chuckled under my breath, exchanged “knowing” looks with my niece and felt totally blessed to spend time in Minnesota with family. I have also been reminded of an essay that was poplar in the early 90’s.  I have included it for you. Enjoy!!

      All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten

      by Robert Fulghum – an excerpt from the book, All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten

      All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten. ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

      Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do we. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK.

      Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living. Take any of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if all – the whole world – had cookies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had a basic policy to always put thing back where they found them and to clean up their own mess. And it is still true, no matter how old you are – when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

      © Robert Fulghum, 1990. Found in Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, Villard Books: New York, 1990, page 6-7.

      Posted in daily life, kid stuff, relationships | 2 Comments | Tagged kid stuff, little things
    • all in the family

      Posted at 1:09 am by missannsays, on June 9, 2012

      I am spending a few days with my nephew and his family. Well, he isn’t really my nephew because he isn’t the child of one of my siblings.  He is my husband’s nephew but to be honest I don’t distinguish that way. In the family tree he is a nephew and he and his amazing wife just had their fourth child. They had a son to add to their beautiful family of three daughters. My nephew is in the National Guard and his two weeks of active duty is falling right after they have added this fourth bundle of joy to their family.  They had asked if I would be willing to spend a few days helping out with the kids while he is away.  I said yes and actually came a couple of days early so I could see him.

      Even though I didn’t have the luxury of spending hours and hours with him and his siblings as they grew up, I am receiving the priceless gift of a “grown up” relationship. My sister-in-law and her family have always lived half way across the country. They were in Kansas and we were in New York.  We made a two “treks” to Kansas and they would travel to NJ to visit my husband’s parents.  There were always Christmas  and birthday cards and gifts exchanged and telephone calls every now and then.  Unfortunately distance and the expense of travel, raising children and working doesn’t make frequent visits some thing that happens as often as you would.

      When we got married, Bruce and I decided that Thanksgiving would be spent with “his side” one year and “my side” the next year. I have continued to alternate that way ever since we started that tradition.  The great thing about that is I have never cooked a turkey.  Even when my mom stopped hosting, my sister started hosting and her husband started cooking the turkey.  Four years ago I did host Thanksgiving at my home but my brother-in-law cooked the turkey. Two years ago I hosted at the Barn but my brother-in-law cooked the turkey again.

      This past Thanksgiving was a Van Hine year.  As I started thinking on that I realized I couldn’t expect by 93-year-old mother-in-law to cook and I probably couldn’t get her to come to my house.  As I pondered the situation, I had a little thought that would become an amazing blessing.  I asked my mother-in-law if she would like to travel with me to Kansas to have Thanksgiving in her daughter’s home. First I mentioned this idea to my sister-in-law and she stated “mom will never travel to Kansas”.  I just had a thought that she would.  Last September my sister-in-law was in NJ and we went out to lunch with my mother-in-law.  And I asked my mother-in-law “Do you want to go to Kansas with me for Thanksgiving?” And without hesitation she said “Yes”. Wow – okay, road trip with mom. So I made our travel plans. Keep it simple was my goal. Non-stop, don’t fly too early, easy parking, request a wheelchair. After the plans were set, I explained to mom that I would drive to her home in South Jersey, spend the night and then we would drive to the Philadelphia Airport.  We would use a parking service that I had used before so it was simple.  Go to parking place, they drive you to the airport in your car so you don’t have to get out or move your luggage. And it worked.  But it more that worked because my sister-in-law and her hubby arranged with their kids and their families to all show up in Kansas over Thanksgiving weekend.

      The day after Thanksgiving my mother-in-law got to see her 3 grandchildren, 2 of their spouses, 5 great granddaughters and 2 great grandsons.  It was busy and loud and wonderful.  And I got to reconnect  and spend time with my nieces and nephews and thus the trip to Minnesota this week. So today I taught little girls ballet, played with playdoh, washed dishes, folded clothes, encouraged a tired mom and held a 2 week ago baby – it doesn’t get better than that.

      One of the things on my bucket list is to take a train across country and visit family, friends and acquaintances along the way.  But I think I might just have to get on a plane in the next year to visit a niece and her family in Chicago, a nephew and his family in Fort Collins, and another new baby – my brother’s grandson due in a few weeks in South Carolina.  The great thing about family is those bonds that bind you together can always be strengthened by spending more time to together.  Airline ticket – $$$, first piece of luggage -$$, food on the plane – $, spending time with family – worth every penny.

      Posted in daily life, kid stuff, relationships, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged friendship, little things
    • my little brother

      Posted at 9:57 pm by missannsays, on June 5, 2012

      Today would have been my brother’s birthday. He died suddenly in December of 2008. He was my younger brother by 2 years. And I loved introducing him as “my little brother”. You see what made that such a funny way to introduce him was the fact that he was 6 feet 4 inches tall. He wasn’t little. In High School his nickname was “rhino” – he was big. But I remember him more as Jimbo, my little brother.  He had a great sense of humor which wasn’t always appreciated by my mom. When my mom would be disciplining him, many times he would answer in some strange accent.  Pretending he was German ala Colonel Kling of Hogan’s Heros or Pakistani. He loved to tease my mom about being an alien because she had a green card. He would actually call her “mum” and speak of the “mother country”.

      My brother and I were very different. During our teen years,  I thought he was weird. I was really into ballet so to me “to live was to dance, to dance was to live”.  He enjoyed watching Star Trek with my dad. He read Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit.  He would see films and talk about the symbolism. He wore earth shoes, a chaftan and had long hair for a few years. He loved Monty Python and George Carlin. He would talk about politics and government. He didn’t really like school. One year, he had the same teacher for science that I had for chemistry and my parents didn’t really believe him that the teacher was bad until I started to complain about the same teacher. Guess that proves, the old adage about crying wolf or it shows I was “goody two shoes”. When my brother turned 18, he walked into the guidance office and asked to see his “file.”  He said he was now considered an adult and should know what was written in it. They weren’t amused.

      My brother would go to college, fall in love, get married, start his career and have a child before I even left home. In my eyes, he was the adventurer. In August of 2001, he and his wife would move back to the East Coast.  And that would prove to be such a blessing to me. In the days, weeks and months following September 11, he was there for me, my girls and my parents. In October of 2001, we were invited to the Concert for New York.  My daughters wanted to go so I invited my brother and sister-in-law to join us.  Actually, I figured my brother would be “good protection” if something went wrong.  I remember my sister-in-law brought us all ear plugs – great idea.There were bands and celebrities that I recognized and some my daughters knew and I didn’t. At one point in the concert, my older daughter turned to me and said “who is that?”, I said “The Who”, she said “who??”. Still makes me chuckle.

      On December 9, 2008, I was driving home from the studio and I drove through Boston Market to pick up some dinner.  My cell phone rang and it was my sister.  She said “Are you driving?”, I responded “yes”. She said “I will talk to you later”. I said “hold on” and pulled to the side of the road.  And then she said something that was so unbelievable that it didn’t even make the list of bad things you think could happen. She said “James is dead”  Who, What, How???  This may sound silly but I have never gone back to that Boston Market. I remember the date so easily because my sister’s birthday is December 10. Scripture says “sorrow lasts for a night but joy comes in the morning”.  That verse had been important to me after Sept 11 but after my brother’s death it holds even more meaning.

      You know what I remember most about my little brother.  I remember the big hug he gave me the last time I saw him which was on Thanksgiving.  He gave great hugs.  I remember him walking down the street to the Tribute Center to visit me one day when he was also in Manhattan. Because he was so tall you could see him coming from the top of the block. I also remember a note from him and his wife in April of 1984, that said “we know you have just bought a house, and we know that unforseen expenses can come up and we want you to know that we would gladly help if you need it.” I cried when I read that 28 years ago and that offer of help still makes me cry today.

      I miss you Jimbo, my little brother.

      Posted in daily life, memories, relationships | 6 Comments | Tagged friendship, little things
    • totally random

      Posted at 8:43 pm by missannsays, on May 31, 2012
      • Last week on the  car radio I kept hearing this ad for a “solar energy” system for your home.  Anyway towards the end of the ad they say “call for a quote on your solar system”. So I can purchase my own private solar system? Do I get to pick my planets, and constellations  or are there set packages?  It just struck me as funny.
      • While driving home from PA 2 weeks ago, I saw a road sign that said “Keep a safe distance when following”. I understand the principle behind that and I am sure it is true while driving.  But I got to thinking about my spiritual walk and being a follower of Jesus. After pondering that for a few days, I came to the conclusion that sometimes I “keep a safe distance when following” and I probably shouldn’t.
      • This past weekend my sister and I had to sort through stuff at my parents. (See “It’s on the Ho Chi Minh”) We needed to get some personal items out of my dad’s totally out of control library. Imagine floor to ceiling books on shelves going in every direction and some have collapsed.  We weren’t even sure where the light switch was. Well, I tried to talk my sister into letting me video tape her crawling in and over and around stuff so we could put it on YouTube and then it could go viral.  She didn’t like the idea but I was really laughing at the whole concept. She finally said “Wow!! You are cracking yourself up.” Which I was and I think the reason the whole thing made me laugh so hard was I barely know how to video using my phone, I don’t know how to put something on YouTube and I am not even sure I understand what going viral means. lol
      • I have discovered a couple of ways to guarantee that the traffic jam you are caught in will start moving. The first way is deciding to put hand cream on your hands. As soon as the lotion is on your hands but before you can rub it in, the traffic will start to move. The second way  is deciding you want to take a photo of 1 WTC.  Open your window, get ready and as soon as you go to hit the button the guy behind you will honk. Works every time.

      Posted in daily life | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, little things
    • “It’s on the Ho Chi Minh”

      Posted at 10:23 pm by missannsays, on May 26, 2012

      I have spent a good portion of this past week removing my family’s personal items from my childhood home. Next week my childhood home will go on the market. My dad has been in a nursing home for the past 5 1/2 years.  My mom is currently in rehab and will not be returning to this house. Over the past 5 years, my mom has insisted on staying in her home so she could be near my dad.  My siblings and I honored her wishes. It wasn’t the best solution but it was what she wanted. One of the lessons I learned through this process is you can’t make someone want more for their life.  You can show them the possibilities but you can’t force them.  Growing up I remember hearing the saying “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink.”

      The house that is being sold wasn’t my only childhood home but it was the one I lived in from third grade until I got married.  I have a vague memory of sitting on the side steps of our house in Salt Lake City and crying because I didn’t want to grow up. Before that I had lived in England and Oklahoma.  I was born in Oxford, England and came to the USA when I was a toddler.  My mom would say “We gave you a good start and after that you were on your own.”  My Oakie dad met my British mum when he was in England during the Korean War. I remember hearing the story of my dad arriving in England on a ship headed to Germany and my dad and some other airmen got off the ship. Oops!! so they were reassigned to the North of England. I am sure there is more to that story. Anyway that is how my dad met my mom.  Yesterday, my sister and I found a box of “Old Letters” and some great old photos. I am looking forward to reminiscing with my mom. When my dad’s military time was completed, we moved to Oklahoma so my dad could finish college at the University of Oklahoma (OU).  My earliest memory is being handed into a tornado shelter. Years later my mom would refer to Oklahoma as “that God forsaken place”.  My mom was only 24 years old when she left her family and her country and traveled to the States alone with me.  My dad had “gone ahead”. She tells the story of arriving in NY and the cab driver telling her she spoke good English for a foreigner.

      After England, Oklahoma and Utah we moved to Phoenix, Arizona where we lived for about 2 years before moving to New Jersey. One of my strongest memories of Arizona was riding my bicycle home from school through the desert and my handle bars fell off.  Yes that statement resembles “I walked to school everyday uphill both ways with only one shoe” but it is a true story.  The housing developement we lived in wasn’t completely built so there was a road through the desert to the school. One day while riding home my handle bars and some other kids handle bars fell off.  Luckily a neighbor drove by and helped us.  Some “big kids” at school had loosened the bolts on our bikes.

      The house being sold has many memories of “us 3 kids” – that is what my siblings and I called ourselves.  There were Halloween costumes built my dad, fun fairs organized by my mom and summer shows put on by the kids in the neighborhood. There was music by Mario Lanza – mom’s favorite and Gilbert and Sullivan operas courtesy of my dad.  There were times family from England would stay with us as my parents were sponsoring them so they could emigrant to America. There was the birth of my baby sister when I was 12 years old and “us 3 kids” became 4.

      Many memories and lots to organize and pack up.  There is adage “How do you eat an elephant?” and the answer is “one piece at a time”. I would add to that “you need to know when you are full.” So we took a lot of “stuff” and then we said “we are done” and it is okay. My sister and I laughed as we worked and we cried but it was good. There are memories we will always carry in our hearts, there are books, photos and trinkets we will share with other family members and there are sayings that only mean something to us. The buffet pictured above is called the Ho Chi Minh.  My brother named it.  I guess because it has an Asian flair to it. “Where is such and such?” and the answer many times would be “it is on the Ho Chi Minh”. My youngest daughter didn’t realize that wasn’t the real name for that type of furniture until she studied the Vietnam War in high school. As my sister was heading to the house today she heard a story on the radio that mentioned Ho Chi Minh and she thought of our deceased brother and that buffet.  And that was a gift. My childhood wasn’t perfect and my childhood home has seen better days but my parents did the best they could with the resources they had. “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love.”

      Posted in daily life, memories | 1 Comment | Tagged little things
    • Driving home in the light

      Posted at 11:06 pm by missannsays, on May 23, 2012

      I like when I get home from church on Wednesday nights and it is still light out. At 8:00pm in the winter it is dark but this time of year the sun hasn’t set yet.  It seems like I have more time. Once while I was teaching a kindergarten ballet and gymnastics class a concerned student stated “Miss Ann, I think you have kept us at dance too long because it is dark out”. After a quick lesson on the concept of changing the clocks and reassuring her that mom would arrive to pick her up at the regular time, class continued.  A side note: when I was in Alaska, the time change and the extended hours of light were annoying. I never knew what time it was. But usually I enjoy the extra hours of daylight especially when I am driving home.

      When my daughters were young, they would come to the studio after school. And depending on the day they may stay until I finished teaching or Bruce would pick them up and take them home. One Monday evening, Bruce came to pick up the girls and my youngest really wanted to stay. After some “discussion” she did go home as planned  which was good because the experience I had on the way home would never have happened if she had been with me.  It was in the late Spring so it was still light out and I was glad to be driving home in the daylight.  My route home that evening was Route 208 North, over Skyline Drive and then around the reservoir heading towards Greenwood Lake.  There isn’t usually traffic that time of evening. Unless it is in the winter and there is snow this is a pretty boring drive. So imagine my surprise as I rounded the curve and there is a car stopped on the side of the road and a woman is standing in the lane waving her arms. I drive around her and then pull over to see if I can help. I know nothing about cars but really felt I should stop.  Well, this is where it gets interesting. She says she has run out of gas.  There is a gas station just a little further down the road so I say I can go get her some gas.  The only problem is she has no gas can and no money. I only have a few dollars in cash but offer to go buy a little gas. I do notice that there are random items on her backseat a hose, tape, clothing but I don’t think that much about it.  Sometimes the stuff on my backseat may make people wonder. Anyway, I head to the gas station but the gas attendant won’t let me borrow a gas can so I can purchase gas.  I finally talk him into letting me borrow the gas can and promise I will bring it right back. I don’t remember what I said but I do remember the rest of the evening. When I get back to her car, we put the gas in and the car still doesn’t start. And suddenly the woman burst out “I can’t do anything right. I was parked over by the reservoir, trying to kill myself and I ran out of gas”.  My first thought is “Oh my, I am in way over my head”. Think, think…

      Another car stops to help but I have a weird feeling about the guy so I inform the guy that we are okay and I offer to drive the woman home. “First, I have to return the gas can and then I will drive you home.”  I drive to the gas station, return the gas can and then tell her I need to call my husband.  This was years ago so there weren’t cell phones.  There was a payphone.  I call Bruce and say “I stopped to help someone and she was trying to commit suicide and you need to get her some help”  So he suggests calling our pastor but I remind him that Pastor Steve is away.  think, think… I ask him to go on our second line and call friends we have in Ringwood and ask them to call their pastor. So I am on one line waiting for Bruce to call friends on the second line and this woman is in my car.  And it is getting dark. Long story short, I tell the woman I haven’t eaten dinner and we go to MacDonald’s where my friend and her pastor are waiting to help. My friend’s pastor speaks with the woman, suggest that she seeks professional help and offers to pay for her to go to counseling.  She can’t believe that someone will pay for her to get help.  He gets her contact information and says he will call her tomorrow. And then I drive her home. The whole evening was like an out-of-body experience. As I drove home I was totally humbled. I don’t usually stop when I see someone stopped on the side of the road. I usually pray for someone to help them but this particular time I guess I was the one that was supposed to help.

      Posted in faith, memories | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, little things
    • a very productive day

      Posted at 7:14 pm by missannsays, on May 17, 2012

      It was a very productive day today.  Not that I really did anything but things related to me got accomplished. YES, I can cross things off of the list.  Lists are part of who I am. I still make lists on paper because physically crossing it off is more fun than deleting it from your smart phone.  I have a dry erase board that contains the “big list”. Usually meaning it needs someone other than me to do it. There is big satisfaction in crossing those items off. And yes, I add things that weren’t on the original list that were completed because then at least something “got done”.  Such as the flag pole – that was a “write in”.

      So exactly what was accomplished today. Well, my house was cleaned. I didn’t do that. My two wonderful friends and cleaning people did that. The laundry got washed and dried (but not folded). I did do that and plan on completing that task later. New garage doors were installed but I didn’t do that either. One of the bi-vocational pastors from church did that. I made some phone calls and sent some emails. I talked to my daughter and mother and texted my sister.

      And the flag pole was repaired. I didn’t do that either but I did help a little with that project. Last Winter, I realized the string for the flag pole in my front yard was broken. So I haven’t been able to fly the flag. With Memorial Day rapidly approaching, I wanted to get it fixed but who fixes flag pole strings. I figured you would need a bucket truck or something similar to get the hook that was snagged in the pulley down. The other day my neighbor was outside and I asked him “who would I ask about fixing this and how could it even be done without costing mega bucks?” He said “I will work on it”. And he did. He came up with a plan. And today he and his wife with very little help from me fixed my flag pole. The tools involved were a new rope, a ladder, a fishing pole, knowledge of knots and duct tape. Amazing!! And you know what he said after the first attempt was not to his satisfaction and he redid it. “I want to make Bruce proud”.

      After my neighbor and his wife left, I set on my porch swing and thought about that statement “I want to make Bruce proud”.  I realized many things I have done over the past 10 years have been for that very reason “I want to make Bruce proud”.  But even more importantly I want to make my Heavenly Father proud – I want to hear “well done, good and faithful servant”

      Posted in daily life | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, little things, September 11
    • a bag lady

      Posted at 8:39 pm by missannsays, on May 15, 2012

      I have been a “bag lady” for years.  I have a different “bag” for the different areas in my life. For me it helps to keep me organized and to not be overwhelmed.  Currently I have a Tribute Center bag, a Wacky Wednesday bag, a Kids First Ministries bag, a Quizzing bag and a mom bag. Twenty years ago the mom bag would have been because I was a mom with small children but now it is because my mom is in rehab and I use the mom bag to transport her mail and laundry. Through the years I have had a dance bag, a diaper bag, a bag of tricks for entertaining children in the car, and a lunch bag. I even had a cancer bag for when I had chemo. The chemo bag had peppermints, a bottle of water, tissues, magazines and a book. That bag transitioned into a radiation bag that held aloe lotion with vitamin E.  At one point in life my dance bag had my ballet shoes, a copy of Backstage, my leotard, tights, hair stuff and makeup. But through the years the dance bag changed to carry choreography notes, cassette tapes or CDs with music, new stickers for the kids at the studio, bank statements and drawings from my students.

      When my daughters were little the diaper bag contained the normal kid stuff – diapers, change of clothing, bottle, toys and wipes.  There were times I thought I should have packed a change of clothing for myself due to the fact they had thrown up on me or wet through their diaper. As my girls got older, I decided they should pack their own bags especially when we were going on a trip.  When packing for our 5 week National Park camping trip, the girls were allowed a backpack of stuff for in the truck and the rest of their stuff went into a “restock bag”.  They were also allowed one stuffed animal. My younger daughter did pick one stuffed animal but it was a white bear that was as big as she was 🙂

      For some reason my bags make me think of “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…He has made everything beautiful in its time.”

      Posted in memories | 0 Comments | Tagged little things
    • Motherhood

      Posted at 5:54 pm by missannsays, on May 13, 2012

      I am the mom of two grown daughters.  It seems like only yesterday that they were born. My first daughter will turn 28 years old on May 31 and my second daughter will turn 25 years old on June 3.  Being a mom is an amazing journey.  As I have commented before there are eternally long days but the years are a blink of an eye. I can remember waiting for my first child to arrive – waiting and waiting.

      In the midst of my pregnancy, we bought a house.  The plan had been to close on the house in late April, have the baby the beginning of May while we were still living in our apartment and then officially move after the baby was born. Oh, did I mention my annual recital for my studio was the beginning of June.  As her due date came and went, the moms at the studio would peek into the classroom and then I would hear them say “she’s still here!!”. I thought I was going to be “pregnant forever”. When I was two weeks overdue, I went to the hospital to be induced but they couldn’t get me to go into labor so they sent me home. Really!?!  I couldn’t believe it.  Now we would have to officially move before the baby was born as there was only one weekend left in May and our lease was up as of June 1. We moved on Memorial Day weekend. There was a scripture verse that I held onto – Psalm 139:16 “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” I knew that my baby won’t be born before the day ordained for him/her to born and even better my baby won’t be born a day later than had been ordained for him/her.

      The first time I used the dishwasher in our new home I realized I was standing in a puddle of water.  I thought “wow, my water has broken” but then realized my pants weren’t wet.  True story.  The dishwasher leaked 🙂

      When I was three weeks late my doctor said “we would try again and one way or another I would have the baby”. Bruce and I had to be at the hospital nice and early.  As I walked out to the car with my “baby bag” and my bag, the hood of the car was up and he was checking the oil.  I guess people react to stress in different ways 🙂 Then as we drove down Route 17 to the hospital, he drove through McDonald’s to get himself coffee and cinnamon bun.  I was ready to kill him.

      When we get to the hospital, I have one contraction and the baby goes into fetal distress. I am turned onto my side and oxygen mask is placed in my face and the baby’s heart rate returns to normal. My doctor comes in and suggests that he do a C-section but he also suggests that we can wait until both of my doctors can be there later in day. And my husband says “don’t you think we can just wait until she goes into labor by herself.” Very calmly, I look at my doctor and ask him “to please excuse us a moment I need to speak with my husband in private”. With total disbelieve I say to my husband “are you nuts?” And he says “well, everyone has been praying for a smooth delivery.” To which I say “If God wants me to have this baby naturally I will have it by 3 o’clock. If not, I am having a C-section.”

      At a little after 3pm, my doctor does allow Bruce to be present in the delivery room and when my doctor realizes I am trying to watch through the reflection in the lights he gets me a mirror.  I did watch the whole procedure. The one weird thing was because they hang a drape so you can’t see directly it seemed like they were so far away – like half way across the room which isn’t possible.  I am tall but not that tall. I tell Bruce he can take pictures but not gross pictures.  And our baby is born by C-section on May 31. She is totally wrapped in her cord and my doctor comments “a guardian angel was looking out for her.”

      Fast forward 3 years and I am pregnant with baby #2. Five days before her due date I start with contractions in the early afternoon but continue to teach and then see my doctor as I am heading home.  My doctor says you are having contractions but not really dilating so go home and call me later. After I get home I call a good friend and say “you all lie”. See all my friends who “had” labor told me it isn’t that bad.  Anyway my doctor calls me around 9:00pm and when I say the contractions are 20 minutes apart he says to head for the hospital.  We drop child # 1 off at my parent’s house and head to hospital.  At the hospital I am still not dilated. I comment to my doctor “let’s be honest here, I could be in labor all night and in the end you will do a C-section because my first baby was a C-section. The goal is a healthy baby. So let’s do the c-section now.” The nurse wasn’t happy with me but I knew that was the right choice and on June 3, daughter # 2 was born via C-section and she was also totally wrapped in her cord. When daughter # 1 came to meet her baby sister, she thought you got to pick which baby in the nursery to take home.  She liked the one with the head of dark hair. Sorry you get the bald one.

      It doesn’t seem possible that was 25 years ago. I firmly believe that the job of parents is to raise responsible, caring human beings. I believe parents need to love their children unconditionally just as God loves His children. I believe that parents need to “stack the deck” in their kids favor. Parents need to set boundaries and choose their battles carefully. Parents need to give their children the best of associations. I always told my kids to make me the bad guy if they needed to.  For me, motherhood was a few  years of “all hands on deck” and then it was like being a hovering helicopter ready to swoop in at a moments notice. And now it is the sweet moments of reflection, conversation and hugs.

      Posted in memories, relationships | 1 Comment | Tagged little things
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