Miss Ann Says

Author Archives: missannsays

• 130 lb pound lap dog

  Posted at 11:02 pm by missannsays, on May 9, 2012

  Recently I was organizing one of the closets at the Barn when I came across Buster’s old dog bowls.  And I smiled to myself as I remembered Buster Brown the biggest lap dog in the world.  He wasn’t a lap dog but he thought he was. He was a very tall, 130 pound Rottweiler and a great dog.  When my daughters were very young, they said they wanted a dog and I told them when you are 7 and 10 we will talk about it.  They must have been really young because 7 and 10 years old seemed a long way off. Well, when they were 8 and 11 years old they really started bugging us about a dog. They remembered my comment as “when you are 7 and 10 we can get a dog” – really, my girls didn’t remember when I asked them to put their toys away but they remembered that off-handed statement about getting a dog.

  Late one Sunday afternoon our phone rang and it was Bill.  Bill had a wonderful dog named Bo who was the “dad” for a litter of Rottweiler puppies. We had been at a party together earlier in the day and I guess there had been discussion about puppies. He wanted to stop by and show us one of the new puppies. Bruce said “sure, come on by”. I gave him a weird look and he said “no problem when Bill mentions how much the puppy is we will just say we can’t afford it” which was the truth.  Great, we have a plan. Well either God has a sense of humor (which I believe He does) or my kids had really been praying because what happened next was amazing and only God. Bill stops by with this adorable pure bred puppy with very big feet.  He tells my kids that they can name the puppy.  My girls pick  Buster Brown.  And then Bruce says “So how much does a puppy like this go for?” and Bill says “Free to a good home”  Bruce mentions “we are going on vacation”. “No problem, we will keep him at our house until you get back.” Really!?!  what just happened here. And that is how at 8 and 11 years old my girls got a dog.

  When my kids told my mom we got a dog, my mom thought I was having some kind of mid-life crisis because growing up I didn’t like big dogs. I told her if I was having a mid life crisis it won’t involve getting a big dog maybe a fancy car but not a dog.  My dad loved Buster right a way but didn’t let on in front of my mom. My dad would say “most people don’t keep a small horse in their house”. My mom did eventually love Buster.

  When Buster was a year old, we went on a 5 week camping trip – our National Parks tour as we affectionately called.  We were a family of 4 traveling in a Ford F-150 with a cap, pulling a pop-up trailer with New York license plates and we had a Rottweiler.  We were sure most people thought we were drug dealers. There are many stories from that trip that I will share at another time.  I would like to share one Buster story from that trip.  We visited Bruce’s sister in Kansas. She has a built-in pool. I was out by the pool watching the girls swim and Buster was pacing back and forth.  He really didn’t like that they were in the pool. He looked like “oh no, if something happens I am going to have to jump in.”  When they got out he won’t let them get back in. He kept herding them away from the pool. We finally had to hold him by his collar so the girls could get back in the pool.

  One year a few days before Christmas, Buster pulled down the Christmas tree.  The girls were watching television with Bruce and I was taking a relaxing bath and I heard “boom”. The Christmas tree had fallen over. At first we didn’t realize how it had happened but then we figured it out Buster had walked up to the tree to take an ornament off – he did that when you weren’t paying attention to him. Anyway, his collar got caught on the tree and as he pulled away the tree fell.

  After September 11, when there were so many different people stopping by the house to see if we needed anything or to bring food, Buster would stand between me and the other person.  But if the girls walked into the room, he would go stand between them and the person. Buster took his job of being “the man of the house” very seriously.  Buster died 5 years ago.  He was 11 years old which is actually kind of old for such a big dog. He was a wonderful dog and a “priceless” gift to our family.

  Posted in kid stuff, memories | 1 Comment | Tagged little things

• a cup of tea

  Posted at 10:57 pm by missannsays, on May 8, 2012

  

  Growing up “a cup of tea” with the quick fix for whatever was happening whether good or bad.  My mom is British so a cup of tea wasn’t a tea bag in a mug.  Having a cup of tea involved making a tray of tea.  Boiling the water, heating the pot, steeping the tea and putting the tea cozy over the pot. The teapot was placed on the tray with a pitcher of milk, sugar bowl, tea spoons, tea cups, saucers, napkins and biscuits or chocolates and carried to the dining room table. FYI: Biscuits or bickies is British for cookies.  Sometimes even recently my mom would say “who wants to be mother” that meant you got to pour the tea. As a kid that was a big deal.  My mom would always put the milk in the cup first.  She told us (my brother and sisters) that she could tell when “we hadn’t put the milk in first”.  I thought she could taste the difference from milk in first but I think that our faces gave away that we were trying to pull a fast one.

  Yes, a cup of tea could fix anything.  It could calm you down or wake you up. It remains the ultimate comfort food.  My mom is currently in a rehab facility. She fell and there are big changes in the months ahead. And every time I go to visit her I bring her a “good cup of tea”.  It may not be delivered on a tray and the tea bag is in the cup but it is still the ultimate comfort food even if served in a cup that says Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks.

  One funny tea story: As a kid we visited the site of the Boston Tea Party and I commented “that must have been a lot of tea bags.”

  Posted in memories | 2 Comments | Tagged little things

• tidbits of wisdom I learned from my dad

  Posted at 4:09 pm by missannsays, on May 5, 2012

  I just walked outside barefoot and as I stepped outside I heard my dad’s voice say “put shoes on”. I didn’t hear his voice audibly but I heard it in my mind. My dad had a stroke 5 1/2 years ago and hasn’t spoken since but many things he used to say are imprinted on my mind. And on occasion some of those “tidbits” of wisdom have even been spoken by me.

  • “put your seat belt on” – I have always worn a seatbelt. I have a vivid memory of my dad installing seatbelts in our station wagon. I was well into my teens before I knew everyone hadn’t grown up wearing seatbelts.
  • “don’t believe everything you read in the paper, hear on the radio or see on the television news” – I was raised to investigate what the media says – a good idea.
  • I don’t know if he actually ever said it but I heard loud and clear “Think”
  • “you need to know the history” – This used to make me and then my kids crazy. If you asked my dad about whatever, he would start with the Greeks or Romans or even earlier and work his way forward. My youngest daughter would say “Poppy, I want the reader’s digest version.”
  • “don’t stoop to their level”
  • “write down who you spoke to, what they said and note the date and time.” This has proven to be invaluable advise.
  • “so what do you want to do?” My dad said that to me in Sept of 1975 when I lost my job teaching dance. And then he set with me at the dining room table and came up with a plan. That plan was the New School of Dance Arts.
  • “don’t drive behind big trucks – you can get sucked under” My sister, sister in law and I drove cross country in a Pinto in August of 1981.  My dad made us put a crowbar under the seat to “pry ourselves” out of the car. My sister was moving to California and we drove her car and my sister in law and I flew back – one week trip. oh my!!!
  • “a government’s first responsibility is to protect it’s citizens”
  • “Kids need to learn geography” – thus why I own a globe and an atlas.
  • “good show” – my dad came to every one of my recitals.
  • “Promise me you won’t make any major changes in your life for one year”  He said that to me after Sept 11, 2001.

  I remember getting in big trouble with my dad only once and that was enough. I was 12 years old and being a “smart ass” to my pregnant mom – not a good idea. I remember seeing my dad cry only once. That was Easter 2002 and I told him the FDNY had found Bruce’s body. I miss my daddy. I see him when I visit him at the nursing home but that’s not really him because what you did with my dad was talk. We would sit at the dining room table and talk. So now I carry on a monologue about what I am doing, what the girls are doing, etc… And before I leave I kiss him on the forehead and say “remember Daddy I love you and God loves you.”

  Posted in memories | 1 Comment | Tagged little things, respect, telling the next generation

• Respect in the Real World – #5 NDP

  Posted at 9:34 pm by missannsays, on May 2, 2012

  Tomorrow is the first Thursday in May. Wow, I can’t believe it is May already. The first Thursday in May is the National Day of Prayer.  The NDP website offers the following history lesson: “Days of prayer have been called for since 1775, when the Continental Congress designated a time for prayer in forming a new nation. In 1863, Abraham Lincoln called for such a day. Officially, the NDP was established as an annual event by an act of Congress in 1952 and was signed into law by President Truman. President Reagan amended the law in 1988, designating the first Thursday of May each year as the NDP.”

  I believe in prayer and I am grateful that I live in a nation where I have freedom of religion. I realize that if I lived in some other countries on our wonderful planet I would not have freedom of religion. I also realize that there are people who do not share my views on life and religion in particular. And I am good with that.  The world is a big place and we are all different.  As I always say to the kids “It would be so boring if we were all alike.”  I love the diversity of the United States but I will say that I don’t like the term “tolerance”.  I think “respect” is a better word.  I get the concept of tolerance but wouldn’t respect be better.  I don’t have to agree with your lifestyle or beliefs to respect you as a fellow member of the human race. Can’t we respectfully agree to disagree. See the bottom line is you haven’t walked in my shoes and I haven’t walked in your shoes. But I can almost guarantee that there is something you can teach me about life that I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t know you and visa versa.  We don’t have to see “eye to eye” to walk “hand in hand” or live “side by side”.

  So I will be praying for our great nation tomorrow, our leaders and the children and teens who are our future leaders. My local church will be open all day tomorrow for people to stop by and pray. I bet some synagogues and mosque will be open too. And actually you can pray anywhere so if you believe in prayer, please take a moment tomorrow to pray for our leaders, our military and our future. It can’t hurt 🙂

  One last thought for my brothers and sisters in Christ as John Wesley stated: “On the essentials, unity; on the non-essentials, liberty; and in all things charity(love).” Amen!

  Posted in respect in the real world | 0 Comments | Tagged prayer, respect

• #1 WTC

  Posted at 5:47 pm by missannsays, on May 1, 2012

  Yesterday the new One World Trade Center became the tallest building in New York City.  It is now taller than the Empire State building.  When completed it will be the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere.  I never thought I would be excited about a building but I am.  Over the last 6 years I have traveled into Lower Manhattan a few days each month so I have had the opportunity to see this building “grow”.  I am aware of the sorrow that site holds, the struggles that have surrounded the redevelopment and  the symbolism of the building and to see 1 WTC as the tallest building in NY is amazing. I was thrilled the first time I spotted it from the George Washington Bridge.  I have spotted it from Skyline Drive in Ringwood and the top of the hill in Ramsey.  And every time I see it I am ecstatic. To me it is a symbol that life goes on, things change and a new normal is established and that is hard and bittersweet but worth celebrating. The New York skyline will never look like it did when the Twin Towers graced the skyline but now there is a new skyline – a new normal.

  Some interesting facts from the Tribute Center Volunteer Resource Guide –

  • “One World Trade changes shape as it rises as a way to pay homage to the original WTC building. The building keeps the sides flat and tapers the corners in. On the ground floor, it’s a square…at the middle you get an octagon. While seen from the north and south, the silhouette of  1 WTC will resemble the original WTC tower, when seen on a diagonal, it will resemble the Washington Monument, capturing the meaning of the site: remembrance, hope and moving forward.”
  • “With spire, One World Trade will rise to 1,776 feet, the year of US independence.”
  • Completion is slated for the end of 2013
  • First floor of office space is actually the 20th floor. The building is built on a 200 foot by 200 foot bomb proof cube. Building includes some of the largest and most transparent pieces of curtain glass ever used on a building. “It was intentional to respond with the creation of an openly transparent, democratic building.”

  Posted in September 11 | 0 Comments | Tagged September 11, telling the next generation

• a special friendship

  Posted at 9:34 pm by missannsays, on April 29, 2012

  On Saturday morning, I drove to the Bronx for the Metro New York District Church of the Nazarene Children’s Bible Quiz. I knew that quizzers, their parents and children’s ministries volunteers from 5 different churches would attend.  I had spent the last few weeks coordinating the details – trophies, treat bags, score sheets, questions and award ribbons. I was looking forward to a great quiz and a bonus would be seeing my friend Diane. When I arrived I went looking for Diane, and found her in the church kitchen getting food items ready for the light breakfast the church was so graciously supplying for the attendees. After a big hug Diane introduced me to a young woman as “This is Miss Ann, my sister by another mother”.  That really made me chuckle. When we refer to each other we say Sister Diane or Sister Ann. Part of that is a cultural thing but part of it is a real sisterhood.  I have known Diane for many years.  Her children used to be quizzers.  She is a children’s ministries volunteer in her local church. She doesn’t put up with any nonsense, she has rules and she loves those kids. She is a shorter, darker version of me.

  About a year ago, Diane asked me if I remembered the first time we met.  To be honest, I didn’t remember but Diane did.  She told a story that I had a vague memory of.  Years ago at a District Quiz, I had more quizzers than treat bags. You should know that the treat bags aren’t award show quality “goody bags”.  It is a snack size Ziploc bag with a some kind of kid trinket and a few pieces of candy.  I had apologized for not having enough treat bags and asked if anyone would volunteer to forgo getting a treat bag and I promised to mail them a treat.  Diane’s son volunteered and I got his address and mailed him a note and a few candy bars.  And I guess that made an impression because a friendship was born.

  Diane called me one day to ask if I was going to M7? (M# is a conference the Church of the Nazarene holds every four years between General Assemblies) “Yes, I am. Are you going?” Diane responded “Yes, there is something I want to tell you before you go to M7” And Diane proceeded to tell me that she had been invited to share the story of God’s grace in her life and it had been filmed and would be shown at M7. And she wanted me to know that the film would reveal that she is HIV+. I don’t remember what I said. I was sad for my friend. I felt humbled that she wanted me to know before I saw the film. In the brief film, Diane sings and tells her story and gives glory to God for all He has done in her life. After the film was shown at M7, I found Diane and gave her a big hug. She said “so…” I said “well, I learned one thing. You sing more beautifully that I thought you could.”

  In early 2008 when I was diagnosed with cancer, I called Diane and told her because I knew she would pray and I needed her prayers and strength.  I see Diane a few times a year at District events. When we talk those phone calls would have been precipitated because of some children’s ministries event. Our conversation will always end with us “catching up on family”.  She will say “how are the girls or should I say ladies?” and I will tell her. And then I will ask “how is your son and daughter”.  And she will fill me in on their lives.  Her son has been serving in the military in Afghanistan and will be home in June.  Yes, we are sisters by different mothers but we have the same Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for that.

  Posted in relationships | 0 Comments | Tagged cancer, friendship, little things

• Respect in the Real World – #4 -Bin Laden

  Posted at 8:29 pm by missannsays, on April 27, 2012

  May 1, 2011 was a Sunday.  I had attended church and then headed into Manhattan with a friend.  The reason for the trek into the city was to lead a private tour at the WTC site for my friend, her sister and  her sister’s friends. We visited the Tribute Center and then I lead a walking tour explaining the history of the original World Trade Center, a timeline of the September 11 attacks, information about the rescue, recovery and rebuilding.  I also told my personal story.  We finished our tour in WFC #3 aka the American Express building at their beautiful memorial to their 11 employees that were killed on September 11. After the tour, we drove to my friend’s sister’s house for pizza and the discussion about September 11 continued with people sharing their memories and me answering more questions.

  It was getting late so I drove my friend home and as I headed home I turned the car radio on.  At first I didn’t understand what the news report was about but I could sense from the tone of the newscasters voice that “something had happened”.  And then I realized what was being reported and I felt nothing. I even remember thinking “I think I should be happy” but I felt nothing.  I got home and my friend called and asked if I had heard.  Yes, I heard.  She commented “that she couldn’t believe we had been at the site the day Bin Laden was killed”.  Each of my daughters called me and we discussed our individual reactions.  My younger daughter commented that “the timing was interesting with the tenth anniversary only months away.”  And my older daughter mentioned “daddy died in the line of duty”. I did see President Obama announce the killing of Bin laden and then I went to bed.

  I was volunteering at the Tribute Center on Monday so Monday morning I headed into the city. I hadn’t seen any television reports. I hadn’t seen the images of people reacting and “celebrating”.  I was very surprised by the added police presence and all the media.  There were even mounted police. It was a zoo.  I will say that the Tribute Center is always wonderful about trying to keep the media in line.  I was asked if I would like to attend the mayor’s press conference on the “site”.  “Sure why not” I haven’t had that experience before. I am not good at recognizing famous/noteworthy people but I did recognize Katy Couric. Oh my bizarre life.

  Anyway after a few days I realized that I needed to share some thoughts about Bin Laden’s death and I did on Facebook.

  random thoughts on Bin Laden’s death

  by Ann Clark Van Hine on Thursday, May 5, 2011 at 9:20am ·

  I have had an interesting week.  I have been processing/pondering the death of Bin Laden.  I have realized the I am actually indifferent.  And in realizing that I remembered that I once heard that the opposite of love is not hate – it is indifference.  I don’t think his death makes us any safer.  The opposite is probably true. I haven’t been waiting for 10 years for his death.  I hope that the people who have been waiting for his death now have peace.  Emily called me on Sunday evening she said that she has always thought that Bruce died in the line of duty.  I would have to agree.  To me Bruce gave his life, Bin Laden did not take Bruce’s life.  I haven’t watched much TV news (I don’t usually – I listen to the radio or read on the Internet) so I haven’t seen a lot of the celebrations.  I see September 11 through two lenses – the FDNY widow lens and the follower of Jesus Christ lens.  I don’t think I can see it just  through the American lens because those other two lens are so strong that I can’t separate them from who I am.

  The one thing that was very disturbing and annoying to me was  ” that Bin Laden was buried within 24 hours because of Islamic tradition”  Really I would think if you murdered close to 3,000 people (or even 1 person) your religious beliefs become irrelevant.  There were Jews and Muslims killed on Sept 11 who were not afforded their religious traditions.  I understand part of that was to appease the Islamic community but really…

  I have great respect for our military and my heart breaks for the families of those that have been killed during this struggle with terrorism.

  As I said to a reporter “On May 28 my daughter is getting married and whether Bin Laden is dead or alive, her dad is not here to walk her down the aisle.” – that is the reality.  This week is another chapter in that nonexistent booklet “a personal lose in the midst of a national tragedy”  As always God is faithful 🙂

  Now almost a year later I still struggle with observing Islamic tradition and not because it was Islamic tradition but because I think Bin Laden forfeited his right for us to respect his beliefs. People have explained to me that “we” were taking the higher ground and I wish that I could believe that is why “we” observed his religious beliefs. I just wish “we” would take the higher ground when it comes to respecting each other.

  Posted in respect in the real world, September 11 | 0 Comments | Tagged respect, September 11

• Kid moments

  Posted at 9:48 am by missannsays, on April 26, 2012

  Today is my niece’s fifth birthday. My sister posted a great photo of her on Facebook.  My sister also commented that one of my niece’s gifts was a cape and she is afraid that my niece thinks super hero powers are included. This reminded me of a couple of funny kid moments. The first being a little boy from church who many times wore his underwear on the outside of his long johns and wore a cape.  Great, quirky kid – he grew up to serve his country and become a real hero as a member of our military.

  My sister’s superhero powers  comment also reminded me of a student of mine.  There is a song I used many times while teaching dance – Monday is a Marching Day.  The song names the days of the week and each day has a different movement attached.  It is a fun way to teach skipping and galloping and  the different ways we can move.  In your typical pre kindergarten and kindergarten class as the year goes on the children master hopping, marching and even skipping.  Well, one day towards the end of the year we are doing Monday is a Marching Day – did  I mention this a favorite song among this age group.  Anyway in the song Friday is a flying day. As the children are “going around the mat” and a little voice says “Miss Ann, why aren’t I flying?”  I get a puzzled look on my face and say “Gravity” and when the song is over give a brief explanation of gravity.  Later I thought about this exchange and really to a child why shouldn’t I fly.  At the beginning of the year, I couldn’t skip and now I can so shouldn’t flying be the same.

  Happy Birthday Lady Bug – may you defy gravity 🙂

  Posted in kid stuff | 3 Comments | Tagged kid stuff, little things

• Just look at me

  Posted at 11:13 am by missannsays, on April 25, 2012

  “Just look at me” or “Just watch me” are two phrases I have said many times while teaching little girls ballet.  That was my career path for 35 years – I taught little girls ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical and even a little gymnastics. It was great fun and very rewarding but there were times that it could be frustrating. One of things that I taught my dancers to do was how to turn without getting dizzy. Little kids don’t mind getting dizzy but if you want to be able to perform a combination or routine you can’t be dizzy after your turns. The technique is called “spotting” or “snapping your head”.  The technique involves focusing your eyes on one spot and then turning your head quickly so all your eyes see is that one focal point. It takes concentration and practice.

  The annual recital is the main event of the year.  It is the icing on the cake. It is one performance that involves the months of training and weeks of rehearsal to learn a “dance”.  As I used to tell my high schoolers or “big kids” as they are known, the littlest ballerinas or babies can just walk on stage in their pink tutus and the audience loves them.  You however as “the big kids” have to really know what you are doing. The hardest group to get to understand this is the early elementary age – the 6 & 7 years old.

  A few years ago I had a class of beginner ballet students that really knew their dance. They were a great fun group of kids. There are classes that you think “oh, my. I am so glad their costume is cute and the music is good because they have no clue.” That wasn’t this group. They knew what they were doing. Well, they knew what they were doing until dress rehearsal and then they fell apart. They couldn’t get it to together at all.  I mean at all.  They were so distracted that I finally had to close the curtain and let them do the dance with no one watching.  I kept pointing to my chest and saying “Just look at me. If you just look at me, you will be fine”  It was so frustrating.  The next day while I was driving to the recital I thought about the whole bizarre incident and why it was so hard for them to do the easiest thing of looking at me.  The Lord reminded me that He tells me that all the time “just look at me”.

  Today my very personal God reminded me again. My devotional reading from Jesus Calling states: “MAKE ME YOUR LOCAL FOCAL POINT as you move through this day. Just as a spinning ballerina must keep returning her eyes to a given point to maintain her balance, so you must keep returning your focus to Me.  Circumstances are in flux, and the world seems to be whirling around you. The only way to keep your balance is to fix your eyes on Me, the One who never changes. If you gaze too long at your circumstances, you will become dizzy and confused.  Look at Me, refreshing yourself in My Presence, and your steps will be steady and sure.”

  Just what I needed to hear today and in a way that spoke to me. I am grateful for the reminder.

  Posted in faith, kid stuff | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, little things, telling the next generation

• The Hunger Games

  Posted at 9:43 pm by missannsays, on April 24, 2012

  

   I saw The Hunger Games film this afternoon. I found it to be more disturbing that the books.  I have read the series – The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay the trilogy by Suzanne Collins. It was actually written as young adult literature.  Both of  my daughters, my sister and a friend had recommended the trilogy. So I finally read the first book on the plane flying back to New York from Seattle.  Perfect book for an airplane. I read the other two books when I got home. I liked them and would suggest them but personally I think Hunger Games is a cautionary tale of the future.

   Amazon’s description of The Hunger Games states:  “In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by twelve outlying districts. Long ago the districts waged war on the Capitol and were defeated. As part of the surrender terms, each district agreed to send one boy and one girl to appear in an annual televised event called, “The Hunger Games,” a fight to the death on live TV. Sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives alone with her mother and younger sister, regards it as a death sentence when she is forced to represent her district in the Games. The terrain, rules, and level of audience participation may change but one thing is constant: kill or be killed.”

    I have often thought that the next step after “Survivor” was the lions in the arena but I think the next step is The Hunger Games.  The books were disturbing and thought-provoking.  But today when I saw the film and the depiction of those “supervising” the Hunger Games, I was struck by “wow!! this isn’t hundreds of years in the future. With the right set of circumstances this could be the day after tomorrow” It was too close for comfort.

    In the third book, Mockingjay, there is a statement that has given me pause:  “It’s a saying from thousands of years ago, written in a language called Latin about a place called Rome,” he explains. “Panem et Cicenses translates into ‘Bread and Circuses.’… The writer was saying that in return for full bellies and entertainment, his people had given up their political responsibilities and therefore their rights.”

   May I suggest that if we don’t want the Hunger Games on the fall TV schedule in the not so distant future, let’s be responsible citizens. And I don’t mean a TV series, I mean a real event.

  I would love to discuss this book with an intergenerational group.  I think there would be amazing conversation.  Anyone want to join me?
  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged reading list

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