Miss Ann Says

thoughts from everyday life
Miss Ann Says
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    • not an ordinary week

      Posted at 8:13 pm by missannsays, on April 20, 2012

      On Friday April 13, I had to call to see if I had jury duty. The recorded message stated that I had to report to the Orange County Courthouse in Goshen on Monday morning at 10am. Great I should know by Monday afternoon if I am picked for a jury and then I can plan the rest of my week. I had basically left my week open. I figured I may need to “tweak” the timing of errands with my mom or Wacky Wednesdays with the kids at church but no problem. Piece of cake.

      The phone rang and I looked at the clock radio – 1:00 am. The voice on the phone asked for Ray and I said you have the wrong number. I got back in bed and my cell phone rang. I stumbled down the hall to answer it and the caller id said Northern Los Angeles,CA – weird but I answered. “This is dispatcher # whatever with Life Alert. May I speak to A.V.H” “Speaking” ” We have had a Life ALert activation from M.C. and have dispatched paramedics to her location” I call my mother and the police answer. My mom has fallen and they were transporting her to the hospital. I get dressed, wash my face, brush my teeth, shove the jury summons in my purse and drive the almost 30 miles to my childhood home. A phone call from my mom’s neighbor informs me she is at the emergency room with her. I thank her for being there and say I will be there in a few moments. I walk into the ER at around 2am.

      My mom doesn’t know how she fell. Okay that is troublesome. “Mommy, why were you downstairs in the middle of the night.” She doesn’t know. Not good. After x-rays and a CAT scan, it is determined that she has broken her arm. The ER doctor wants her to be admitted for observation since she has a bump on her head and is confused. I am relieved that it is not worse. I am watching the clock because I have jury duty. I am not a big fan of hospitals. I never feel comfortable. I am always sure that I haven’t asked the right questions, or been concerned enough or seemed capable enough. It is like I am in a foreign country and I don’t know the language or the customs. I feel the same way about the court system so knowing I have jury duty is not helping. I leave the hospital around 5:30am so I can go home, take a shower, call my sister, and figure how am I going to get out of jury duty.

      I don’t want to be a “no-show”. I realize I have a civic duty and I am mindful that they could issue a bench warrant for not showing up. Plus my sister is a judge and she is running for a new position and it would look bad in the newspaper if I am a “no-show”. This is how my brain works probably from watching too many courtroom dramas and a vivid imagination. Long story short – I am excused from jury duty because of my family emergency. They will postpone my service. My sister is impressed that I went. She comments “that most people would have been no shows” I share my bench warrant fear – not likely she says. I mention about not wanting to do anything that would look bad in the newspaper she thanks me and chuckles.

      I learned a few of things during my “not an ordinary week”:

      • God is always in control. A friend emails me that she thought she saw me driving over the mountain around 6am as she was driving to work. She figured that wasn’t good so she prayed for me, my mom and my dad (he is in a nursing home).
      • The sweetest sound in the hospital are the chimes signaling a baby has been born.
      • Telling someone your name and offering to open their water bottle one day may lead to the privilege of praying for them the next day.
      • Saying thank you to the people who are caring for your loved one makes you grateful and them smile.
      • A china tea-cup,a beanie baby, a wash cloth and towel can make someone feel safe and cared for.
      • Just being there is the most important thing.

      My mom spent 4 days in the hospital. She is now at a sub acute rehab facility. The problem is she walks with a walker and now has one useable arm. Next week will probably not be an ordinary week either and that’s okay because this week I heard the chimes of new life, I was humbled to pray with an elderly woman and I was reminded of God’s faithfulness.

      Posted in faith, relationships | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, little things
    • K.I.D.S. club

      Posted at 2:54 pm by missannsays, on April 7, 2012

      “So the next generation would know, and all the generations to come -Know the truth and tell the stories so their children can trust in God.” I have the privilege and awesome responsibility of teaching K.I.D.S. Club on Wednesday evenings at Warwick Valley Church of the Nazarene. K=kids, I=investigating, D=discovering, S = Scripture, Club = fun & friends.  K.I.D.S. Club is also known as Bible Quizzing. I have included a brief explanation of Bible Quizzing but I really want to share is some “kid answers”. First the explanation, the Bible Quizzing program for the Church of the Nazarene is a 6 year curriculum for first through sixth graders. Year 1 is Genesis, year 2 is Exodus, year 3 is Joshua, Judges &Ruth, year 4 is I & II Samuel,  year 5 is Matthew, year 6 is Acts. The program is Bible study and then quizzing – multiple choice questions with quiz boxes.  The children are competing against a level (bronze, silver, gold) not against each other. Every child receives a ribbon and treat bag. At WVCN we meet once a week for our Bible study and then 3 times in the year we meet with other churches to quiz.”Hiding God’s word in your heart” is the emphasis.  Since last September we have been studying the book of Matthew.

      This past week I decided it was important to review the events of Holy Week since it is Holy Week. Our review didn’t make it through Holy Week. I read the scripture in Matthew 21 about Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem.  We discussed the donkey and what is a colt and how kings ride into cities. Then I asked “why do you think the people laid the branches on the ground for the donkey to walk on?” Eager hands go up, waving back and forth. I picked a child to answer and he says “because it was Palm Sunday”.  I make eye contact with my friend and fellow teacher and we smile. Another one of those great kid answers that you need to take and steer in the right direction towards the correct answer.  I spend a lot of time on Wednesday nights steering answers towards the correct answer. I spend a lot of time answering questions that have a very loose connection to the subject manner.

      Sometimes I don’t think we cover a 1/4 of the lesson but it isn’t really about a specific lesson. It is about life lessons.  It is teaching my “students” that God loves them unconditionally – there is nothing they can do to make Him love them more or less. This was week it was naming each one of them individually and saying Jesus died for you. It is teaching that not everything can be explained and that God is big enough for their questions. Teaching that God can be trusted, that He is good and teaching that if you could understand everything about God He won’t be God. It is teaching them that they will have to decide who they will follow as their example of the way to live.

      Recently when we were “studying” the events in Matthew 14 (John’s beheading), I said “what can you tell me about John?”. Many eager hands  and smiling faces – “he was Jesus’ cousin”, “he wore camel-hair clothes” “he ate weird stuff” and “he was a Baptist”.  Good answer but he wasn’t a Baptist, he was the Baptist.  That kid answer makes me laugh and what I wanted to say but didn’t was ” Right, John was a Baptist and Jesus is a Nazarene” 🙂

      Dr Wes Stafford in his book Too Small to Ignore- Why Children are the Next Big Thing tells the following story. “Late one evening D.L. Moody, the premier American evangelist of the 1800s, arrived home from speaking at a meeting.  Emma, his wife, was already asleep.  As her exhausted husband climbed into bed, she rolled over and murmured, “So how did it go tonight?”  “Pretty well,” he replied. “Two and a half converts.” His wife lay silently for a moment pondering this response, then finally smiled. “That’s sweet,” she replied. “How old was the child?” “No, no, no,” Moody answered. “It was two children and one adult! The children have their whole lives in front of them. The adult’s life is already half-gone.”

      Posted in faith, kid stuff | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, telling the next generation
    • Update – Respect in the real world – part 3

      Posted at 4:12 pm by missannsays, on April 3, 2012

      On March 6, I had written about my dismay at seeing a flag tied around the flag pole at my mom’s bank.  Well, I am happy to report that the string on the flag pole has been fixed.  However I am very sad to report that today that flag is flying at half-staff for a young Marine that was killed in Afghanistan. Today the town of my childhood welcomed home a hero. I have a personal connection to that young Marine’s family – his sisters took dance from me.  And my heart breaks for his family.

      I can not begin to understand what it feels like to lose a child. I have never lost a child.  It has been said that we have words to describe a person that loses a spouse – widow/widower and we even have a word for a child that lose their parents – orphans. But there is no word for a parent that loses a child.  It is truly the wrong order of things.  Parents should never bury their children.

      I do know what feels like to have people tell you your loved one was a hero. But I remember vividly my daughters commenting after September 11 that they understood that people saw their dad as a hero but to them he was just their daddy. I guess what I want to say is as a nation we lost a hero but his family lost their son, brother, grandson, uncle, nephew and cousin.  I think in some ways it is easier for us to think of this young Marine and all those who have been killed in the line of duty as heroes because then we don’t necessarily have to think of them as someone’s son or daughter.  May we remember to pray for those who serve in our military because every solider is someone’s son or daughter. God bless America.

      Posted in respect in the real world | 0 Comments | Tagged friendship, respect, September 11
    • The Barn

      Posted at 1:30 pm by missannsays, on March 30, 2012

      That is not what the Barn looks like but that is what some people have imagined.  Actually it is an old barn down the street from the Barn.  My younger daughter has pretended to be stopping there to freak her friends out.  The Barn is a gift from God to our family. Today seemed like a good day to share the story of the Barn.

      It all started in the fall of 2003.  I began investigating purchasing a weekend home which was so out of the realm of anything I ever thought I would be doing that it was surreal. My daughters and I decided we wanted a weekend house not too far away and with “land”. My dad had said you want “land”. Okay i want “land” but wasn’t sure what else I wanted or should look for.  I spent many hours searching the internet for “close by and with land”. Oh and it should have “stories” not levels but real stories.  the house should have character not something so new that there was no history but not so old that there was a lot of work. Okay we want land,character,doesn’t need work and kind of close by. Believe it or not, I found a farmhouse that I thought fit that bizarre list.  My youngest daughter and I drove to Sullivan County to meet a realtor and visit the farmhouse. Well, the farmhouse wsn’t it but the realtor was it.

      And so began my adventure to finding the weekend house. I bought and read a book on how to buy a house.  Joanne, my realtor, and I visited all kinds of places.. No, that’s not it. No, that’s not it either. I wasn’t sure what it was but I sensed when I saw it I would know.  And then Joanne and I visited a converted barn with 14.6 acres of land.  I think this is it.  I am not totally sure what drew me to the Barn but I knew this is it.

       So began the next chapter, purchasing the weekend house.  I kept my “house book” close at hand. Made an offer, rejected, made a counter offer, house inspection, closing scheduled for April 1. My realtor, their realtor and I arrived for the walk through on March 31 and the house wasn’t empty. This was a weekend house for the sellers and no one had been here since May of 2003 so how can there still be food in the refrigator? I may know very little about purchasing a house but I do know this is not ready for sale.  And I also know that I am not closing on a house on April 1 – I don’t like April Fools jokes. So my lawyer gives them 30 days to get it together.  My daughters and I decide that if God wants us to have this house we will have this house.  And on May 5, I bought the Barn. I think it is funny that the closing didn’t happen on April Fools Day but it happened on Cinco de Mayo –  just makes me laugh.

      So we call our weekend house the Barn because it is a converted barn and saying I have a weekend house just isn’t who I am. I have learned many things about weekend home ownership – things about decks, mice, no phone lines, new wells and frozen pipes, septic systems and attic stairs. I have also learned about myself and even more importantly I have learned about God. I have many stories.

      I thought I would share one of those stories. One thing I knew I wanted at the Barn was a big farmhouse stlye table.  A table where many people could sit and eat and sit and talk and sit and play games.  The table would be the center piece of the room.  The Barn has a big table like that (photo at end). On Thanksgiving of 2010, both of my daughters and their guys, my sister and her family and my mum were all sitting around that table.  What a blessing! Thank you, Lord. I remember thinking I don’t know when I will have this again. Wow!! I love this all these people that I love around the table.  I thought I am so grateful and I am willing to wait with a thankful heart until I have it again.  And then I realized that God is willing to wait through all eternity to have all those He loves at one table. He loves us so much that He will wait.

      Guess what – this past New Years Day I had my girls and their guys, my sister and her family and my bestest friend and her hubby.  Another blessed time around the table at the Barn.

      PS. The “ladies from church” will be arriving in this afternoon for Ladies Time Out – a time of fun, food and fellowship, ladies just being girls. we usually hang out in our pjs and eat and laugh and sometimes cry.  God is so good.

      Posted in faith, memories | 0 Comments | Tagged little things
    • What?!?

      Posted at 8:29 pm by missannsays, on March 25, 2012

      It was September 2007 and I remember the phone ringing and it being Jennifer Adams from the September 11 Families Association.  She was calling to give me a “heads up” about a story that would be appearing in the New York Times the next day.  A reporter from the New York Times had been working on a story about Tania Head and as he was verify various facts some things didn’t add up.  The story being released the next day would report that Tania Head was a fake.  What!?!   Her story of being in the south tower and being one of only 20 people to escape from above the impact zone  was a fake.  And not only being a survivor but also of having lost her finance in the north tower. Really !?!  I mean really – she made it up.  She had burns on her arm.  She was the head of the survivor network. She did the tours for the “bigwigs”.  I had stood next to this woman while leading tours for the Tribute Center and shared my very real personal story and she had lied. Wow!!!

      I was dumbfounded.  A friend said didn’t anyone check that her story was true. Well, why would someone lie about all of that.  Any of us who had a story would have been grateful to not have a story.  I felt betrayed but mostly I was heartbroken for those who had truly befriended her. I was heartbroken for the real survivors who had trusted her with their stories. I was also fearful of what would happen to the Tribute Center and the tours. It was a truly bizarre time.

      As this book about her is published (& the possible media frenzy that will follow), would you please join me in praying for her “friends” and all those who have real stories.  There is so much about September 11, 2001 that is unbelievable but that someone would fake a story – that is unimaginable.

      here is a link to the daily news story:

      http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/woman-explores-bizarre-tale-tania-head-article-1.1050614

      Posted in respect in the real world, September 11 | 3 Comments | Tagged September 11
    • it’s the little things

      Posted at 4:08 pm by missannsays, on March 24, 2012

      It is the little things that God does in my life that make me smile and reminds me of His infinite love for me. Don’t get me wrong, He has taken care of some really “big” things in my life and I am humbled and awed. But for some reason that doesn’t surprise me because He is God.  He is able to do immeasurably more than I ask or imagine but it is when He does those little seemly unimportant things that I am reminded how very much He loves me. Today for example, I have plans this evening to meet with friends for pizza.  A few days ago, I had asked my friend what could I bring this evening and she had replied “chocolate.  A little chocolate is always nice.”  That is easy.  I have to be in the city on Friday so I will run in the chocolate store at the World Financial Center and pick up a few little goodies. Not!! The WFC is being remodeled and the chocolate store is closed.  Not to worry, I will come up with plan B. As a side note, there isn’t a grocery store in my town.  I have to drive 10 miles to the grocery store.  Well, I just didn’t feel like running out this morning so I thought there must be something I can make or worse comes to worse I will run in the grocery store when I head to the pizza gathering. So since I didn’t actually have anything that was “happening” today and wanted to be lazy I was still in my pajamas when the phone rang.  “Oh good you are home we are a few minutes away and want to stop by” This is a rare event because my house is not on the way to anywhere.  You can’t get there from here or get here from there – no seriously in the 28 years I have lived here “no one is just in the neighborhood”. I had a lovely visit with friends who I have been thinking about a lot lately but hadn’t had the opportunity to connect with.  Wow, so glad I was home. What a treat!  Speaking of treats I still needed a chocolate treat to bring this evening.  So I look on the internet for something chocolate that I can make with the supplies that I have on hand.  I don’t have the most well stocked pantry but this is where I got to see God’s provision.  I realized I had Nutella and I found a recipe that I thought maybe I would have all the ingredients for and I did.  It was amazing. I was struck by the realization that the creator of the universe is such a personal God that He cares about the smallest of details in my life. I am learning more and more that every single day God wants to reveal more of who He is to me and I need to slow down and let Him.

      FYI: I made Nutella bites – yummy.

      Recipe can be found at:http://stopnsmellthechocolates.blogspot.com/2009/10/would-you-like-chocolate-with-that_30.html

      Posted in faith, relationships | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, friendship, little things
    • Spring or is it??

      Posted at 6:16 pm by missannsays, on March 22, 2012

      Trees*

      I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a tree. A tree whose hungry mouth is prest Against the sweet earth’s flowing breast;
      A tree that looks at God all day,         And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
      A tree that may in summer wear A nest of robins in her hair;
      Upon whose bosom snow has lain; Who intimately lives with rain.  Poems are made by fools like me, But only God can make a tree.        Joyce Kilmer

      I love living in an area of the country where we experience four seasons.  The beautiful colors of Spring, the long light filled days of Summer, the crisp colorful mornings of Autumn and the stillness of a good snowstorm in Winter. Today is a beautiful Spring day.  There is a blue sky with white puffy clouds and the colors of spring are breaking forth.  The pinks and whites of ornamental trees, the greens of the willow trees and the yellow of the forsythia paint a picture of life returning to the drab landscape after a long winter.  Except we didn’t have a long hard winter this year.  There is a sense that something is missing. A sense that we skipped a part of the seasonal story but also a sense that may not be a bad thing. I guess it is a sense of did we get off too easy, will there be a price to pay for not having a real winter, a waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Maybe it is a sense that this is too good to true – Spring without a real Winter.  I wonder does that actually happen. Well, in the meantime I am going to enjoy it. How about you?

      * My husband’s favorite poem.  Actually I think it is the only poem he ever read 🙂

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged little things
    • what time is it?

      Posted at 8:42 pm by missannsays, on March 17, 2012

      I woke up at 3:30 this morning.  Well, it was 3:30 because I am in Seattle but it was 6:30 in New York.  Actually last week it would have been 5:30 since we hadn’t “sprung forward” yet.  No wonder my body is confused.  I find the concept of time to be fascinating.  An hour is always 60 minutes, and a day always has 24 hours but that can seem too long or too short or just right. When my daughters were young, there were days that were eternally long – would it ever be bedtime.  I remember one winter evening when my husband was on duty, bathing the girls early, eating dinner early and almost getting them in bed extra early.  My older daughter wasn’t old enough to tell time but she knew enough about time to know that the microwave reading “six – three – zero” wasn’t bedtime.  Oh silly mommy.  Of course in retrospect wasn’t that just yesterday.  Days may be long but the years are a blink of an eye.  I think of it this way when I was 5 years old one year was a fifth of my life but know that I am in my 50’s one year is a 50th of my life – no wonder it seems to go faster.

      At summer camp a few years ago I decided to go with the Wednesday schedule on Tuesday.  I didn’t think that was such a strange concept. At camp, Wednesdays were called “wacky wednesdays”- a day of silliness and water games but it was supposed to rain on Wednesday so at Tuesday staff meeting I announced it was Wacky Wednesday. Oh my that freaked a few counselors out.  I said “Wednesday was so wacky that it showed up on Tuesday”. A counselor asked if “we were allowed to do that”.  I thought and replied “God makes the sun rise and we can call it whatever we want”.  The bottom line is a I don’t control the sun rising and setting but I have a say in how I use each day.

      Time is an interesting concept.  It can be friend or foe.  I have often commented that the only thing that separates me from my deceased husband is time.  When I was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 years ago all I wanted was more time. When we are young, we want time to speed up so we can grow up but when we are older we want some days to slow down so we can savor the moments. One of my favorite sayings is “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift.”  Thank you Lord for this day – may I spend the hours wisely.

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments
    • a few thoughts on friendship

      Posted at 7:17 pm by missannsays, on March 13, 2012

      My birthday was a couple of weeks ago and one of my friends gave me the plaque that is pictured above.  I laughed when I saw it and then found an appropriate place to display it.  I have been thinking a lot about friendship and decided to share a few random thoughts.

      • Friends are a gift and should be treasured.
      • There a many friends you can spend a few hours with.There are fewer friends that you can spend the whole day with and still fewer friends that you can spend a week with.
      • A friend is honest but not hurtful.
      • “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
      • Friends multiply our joys and divide our sorrows.
      • “Gossip separates close friends.” Proverbs 16:28b
      • Sometimes you have to do what is best for the friendship not what is best for you or the other person.
      • “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”  John 15:13  When I had breast cancer, my friends “laid down” their lives for me.  They poured into my life in ways that were above and beyond.
      • Friends add different things to your life.  One isn’t necessarily better than the other. My FDNY widow friends understand things that not all of my friends can understand. We laugh about things that may seem inappropriate if you hadn’t walked in our shoes. My Tribute Center friends share an experience that is not easily understood and doesn’t have to be explained.
      • Not every friend needs to know or can be trusted with all the details of your life. An example would be Facebook friends. Social media is great but maybe you shouldn’t share that information with Facebook friends.
      • I think of friends as being in circles like a target or bullseye.  Some are closer to the center than others.  The inner circle is small.
      • Your friends have friends.  That doesn’t make them “less” of a friend to you.  Difficult concept for preteen girls.
      • Chatting with friends is great but friends who can be completely comfortable with  moments of silence are rare and few.

      I am truly blessed with wonderful friends. I have my inner “circle”, and my close circle and then all those other circles that compliment and enrich my life. When I was teaching dance I would always say “within the four walls of this studio, you are friends.  I don’t care what happens when you leave but within these walls we will treat each other as friends and friends are a gift.” Guess what some of those girls became friends with people they never thought they would be friends with.

       This is a little off topic but I have been pondering the mutual respect that everyone at the Tribute Center has for everyone else’s stories.  We share a common experience and in many ways that is all we have in common but we respect and value each other.  I have been thinking as human beings don’t we all share the common experience of life.  Shouldn’t we all respect and value each other simply because we are people on the journey of life.

      Posted in faith, memories, relationships | 2 Comments | Tagged friendship
    • “said” this week

      Posted at 9:30 pm by missannsays, on March 9, 2012

      a few random things that I heard or read this week.

      funniest:  “so which button do I push to take a picture” said by my mom.  I got my mom a new cell phone because her first phone (that she never used to make a single call in 15 months) died.  The new phone has a camera. I mentioned  the phone has a camera but only showed her how to make a phone call.

      read before but makes me smile every time: “Stop tweeting weird SH!? and clean your apartment” – the billboard I see as I drive up the West side of Manhattan.

      what?!?: “bomb making is his hobby” heard on the radio.

       I totally agree:  “I figure fresh fruit covered in chocolate isn’t so bad for you!!” a Facebook message from a  friend who had sent me an edible arrangement.

      touched my heart: “Dear Ann, Thank you for being brave and telling us your story about September 11th.  I wish I was there to help your husband.  I learned a lot of lessons, like never to use the word hate.” a thank you note from a 5th grader

      gave me pause: “My dad was picked up by the police because they thought he was Muslim”  said to me by a high school student at the Tribute Center.

      broke my heart: “my lymph nodes were cancerous”  said to me by a friend.

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments
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