Miss Ann Says

Category: daily life

• Family vacation 2012

  Posted at 5:29 pm by missannsays, on July 27, 2012

   This is the view from the beach house we have rented for “family vacation”. For the last few years some time  between Thanksgiving and New Years my daughters will ask “is there family vacation next year?” To which I respond “do you want to go on family vacation?” Family vacation is code for mom plans and mom pays. I am blest that my girls and their guys want to go on vacation with me and that I can afford to do that. The planning usually starts in January with “where should we go and when are you available?” This year there were emails back and forth with links to possible beach houses. And by the beginning of February the beach house was reserved for the third week in July.

  I enjoy beach vacations but I am a brat so I want to be right on the beach and I want nothing to do but be with my family, read, chat and sip ice tea. This year’s family vacation is in Broadkill Beach, Delaware. The beach house is a block from the bay. It is a short walk over the dunes to the beach. The weather has been great a little warm but if you sit right at the edge of water you don’t feel as hot. My youngest daughter’s golden retriever has joined us complete with his own life jacket and water toys. I have read 2 books (A Secret Kept by Tatina De Rosnay and The Bridge of San Luis Rey by Thorton Wilder) and been able to watch  5 episodes Newsroom – the new Alan Sorkin drama on HBO. I don’t have HBO so it was exciting to learn the beach house did. We also have played Wits and Wagers – fun game.

  I have had the opportunity to share with my daughters stories of other beach adventures. As a child I remember going to Blackpool to visit my Uncle Bill. As a child, Blackpool was a magical place. There was Blackpool Tower, the circus, trolleys going up and down the boardwalk, fish and chips, donkey rides on the beach. The beach was huge and you could walk out “forever”.  I have a vivid memory of playing soccer with my brother and sister, when suddenly my brother when flying across the beach. He had slipped on something – a jelly fish. There were many jellyfish on the beach that summer. We would later learn that because of a change in the Gulf stream there were man of war in Blackpool. Yuck.  On another note, because Blackpool is in England, you don’t water a bathing suit on the beach – it is too cold. Another beach memory is taking my “little sister” to the Jersey Shore, Sandy Hook to be exact. My “little sister” is 12 years younger than I am so when I was old enough to drive she was still young. I remember standing at the edge of the water and a big wave came and knocked us over. Luckily I was holding her hand and I kept holding on to her – that was scary.  As a teenager, I have memories of day trips to the shore with friends – baby oil, little bikinis and Parkway traffic. I remember snorkeling with Bruce on our honeymoon in St Thomas and being afraid of the fish. His comment was “you are the one who isn’t suppose to be here – this is where they live” Family trips when my girls were young to Wildwood Crest, Island Beach State Park and North Carolina. And trips to the beaches of St Thomas with my girls when they were in high school. And family vacations with my sister and her family to North Carolina and Rhode Island.

  As I was packing for this trip, I realized I didn’t have to pack sand toys. No one is building sand castles on this trip to the beach. Things change. But the waves continue to roll in and out. And family vacation becomes more and more precious.

  Posted in books, daily life, memories, relationships | 2 Comments | Tagged little things, reading list

• Go,Dog,Go

  Posted at 11:32 am by missannsays, on July 9, 2012

  Two weeks ago while running errands with my mom I had stopped by her home to pick up something that she wanted at her “new” home at the assisting living facility. I had left the front door open and gone upstairs to search for the item. I wasn’t sure if it was in one of the few boxes still in the house or if it was in the many boxes in my garage. As I turned to exit the bedroom there was a dog standing there.  A pit bull. I screamed. He wagged his tail. I pretend to like dogs but I am very cautious with dogs. So I am “saying go home doggie, go home.” I am waving my arms and he is acting like he has found a new friend. I finally “shoo” him outside but he is all happy. He thinks I am playing. I try to reach for his collar to see where he lives but at the same time I am remembering every headline I have ever seen about “pit bull attacks someone”. I am also thinking if this dog bites me my mom will try to get out of the car and she will fall and I can’t do this, give me a break. So this scenario is running in my head. And my mom is in the car watching and smiling. My mom’s home is on a very busy street and even though I am afraid of this dog I don’t want him to get hit by a car.  So I decided that just leaving is best thing so I lock up the house and my new friend Mr Pit Bull is still right there. I again encourage him to go home. He isn’t listening. I open the car door to get in and you guessed it Mr Pit Bull jumps right in my car. My mother is laughing I am on the verge of tears because  I am afraid of this dog. I yell at him to get out and he finally does. I jump in and lock the door. My mom is still laughing and I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry. It was good to see my mom laugh but I couldn’t have been eaten by a pit bull and my mom could have fallen and…. I have a vivid imagination.

  “His thoughts said, I dreamt a distressing dream last night….His Father said, When did I promise to give strength and grace in a dream of the night? My grace is for that which is, not for that which may never be.”  His Thoughts said…His Father said… by Amy Carmichael

  Posted in daily life, faith | 0 Comments | Tagged little things

• Respect in the Real World – 4th of July and book club

  Posted at 12:13 pm by missannsays, on July 4, 2012

  Last night I attended my monthly book club at the public library. Our book  for the month of June had been The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway. What an amazing book and what a wonderful discussion. “The Sarajevo in this novel is only one small part of the real city and its people, as imagined by the author. This is above all else a work of fiction.”  It is fiction set in a real event in the recent past and that may be what makes it so chilling. More than once during our discussion last evening someone commented “why, don’t I remember this. why wasn’t I aware of this.”  I defaulted to “maybe the media wasn’t reporting it. Maybe it wasn’t in front of us.” But that isn’t a reason not to be informed. There was also discussion about what it must be like to live with war waging around you. We shared stories of images seen during childhood that shaped us today. We also wondered what would we do in those circumstances would we be brave, would we be our “brother’s keeper”.

  “The city he lives in is full of people who will someday go  back to treating each other like humans. The war will end, and when it’s looked back upon it will be with regret, not with fond memories of faded glory.  In the meantime, he will continue to walk the streets. Streets that will not have dead and discarded bodies lying in them. He will behave now as he hopes everyone will someday behave. Because civilization isn’t a thing that you build and then there it is, you have it forever. It needs to be built constantly, re-created daily. It vanishes far more quickly than he ever would have thought possible. And if he wishes to live, he must do what he can to prevent the world he wants to live in from fading away. As long as there’s war, life is a preventable measure.”

  I have been pondering that quote in light of today being the  4th of July – America’s birthday.  I am grateful to the men and women serving in our military  whether at home or overseas. I am saddened that their families will have empty chairs at the tables due to deployment or even worse due to the ultimate sacrifice. I also feel that as a nation there are “wars” waging within our borders – poverty, unemployment, healthcare reform, care of the aged, immigration, religious freedoms,etc… Mr. Galloway, I hope you don’t mind but I  tweaked Dragan’s thoughts on page 151 of  The Cellist of Sarajevo for the 4th of July, 2012 – “The country she lives in is full of people who will someday go back to treating each other like humans. The issues/problems will be resolved and when they are looked back upon it will be with regret, not with fond memories of faded glory and which party won. She will behave now as she hopes everyone will someday behave with respect for her fellow countrymen. Because civilization isn’t a thing that you build and then there it is, you have it forever. It needs to be built constantly, re-created daily. It vanishes far more quickly than she ever would have thought possible. And if she wishes to live, she must do what she can to prevent the world  she wants to live in from fading away. “

  Posted in books, daily life, respect in the real world | 0 Comments | Tagged reading list, respect

• a sticky situation

  Posted at 8:25 pm by missannsays, on July 1, 2012

  I traveled to the Barn to host my friend’s daughter’s 13th birthday party.  I braced myself for an overnight adventure that included giggles, whispers, shrieks, no sleep and “drama”. It was December so there was much to do when we arrived- turn on the water, turn up the electric heat and start a fire. For whatever reason, I opened one of the lower kitchen cabinets and noticed a caramel colored liquid. I assumed a can of soda had frozen and exploded so I quickly closed the cabinet and decided to deal with it later. “Let’s get the girls fed and then they can go in the hot tub.” The tacos my friend made were a yummy success and the party goers decided to go in the hot tub. “Perfect” they can go in the hot tub while we clean up from dinner and then I can tackle the soda spill.

  The table was cleared, dishwasher loaded, and leftovers put in the refrigerator. Ok, time to empty the bottom cabinet and see how much “damage” the exploding soda did. SURPRISE!! There was a dead mouse stuck in the soda. I hate mice especially dead mice that are petrified in a caramel colored liquid. So the clean up began. Bad news. There are no rubber gloves so plastic grocery bags served that purpose.  I put the plastic bag over my right hand, reached into the cabinet without looking, closed my eyes and grabbed the mouse. But it was stuck, really stuck. It won’t move. Between my squeals of disbelieve and groans of dismay, my friend’s older daughter suggested pouring hot water on the sticky liquid. Did I mention the birthday girl and guests were outside and this situation needed to be resolved without their knowledge? Alas, the hot water worked and I finally loosen the mouse. Gross. Upon further investigation I realized there was a second dead mouse. So the clean up continued, more plastic bags, a whole roll of paper towel and success. All cleaned up. Just then door to the deck opened and the birthday girl shouted “Mom, I have been yelling for you. What are you doing in here?” Oh if you only knew 🙂

  There was still the question of what happened? Too much liquid to be a can of soda and then I saw it a giant warehouse size bottle of pancake syrup with a hole in the side. I guess one little mouse found a sweet treat and invited a friend to join him and they both got stuck.  There must be some life lesson  in that.

  Posted in daily life, memories, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged little things

• Respect in the Real World – “cutting in line”

  Posted at 9:49 pm by missannsays, on June 26, 2012

  Yesterday I had the opportunity to hear Dan Rather speak as part of the Auditorium Speaker series at the American Library Association Conference in Anaheim, CA.    I was a little worried that the Dan Rather I had remembered watching on television would not be the Dan Rather I would hear speak.  He did not disappoint. To be honest he was “plugging” his new book, Rather Unspoken, but he told amazing stories and issued a cautionary tale of the future of our news agencies that are presently controlled by large international corporations. Very interesting and thought-provoking.  After his presentations there was a book signing. So myself and  many other people got on the line to get his book.  We assumed we would be purchasing the book but it was actually free. 🙂

  It took a few moments to figure out which way the line was going but within minutes we had all fallen into a “que”. There were two young women right in front of me who seemed to know each other.  For the sake of the story we will call them Friend One and Friend Two. Friend One was holding a boxed easel, portfolio and other supplies.  Her arms were full.  It appeared to me she may be giving a presentation at some point.  Behind me were three ladies who also knew each other. There was small talk and this being the year 2012 many people myself included were busily looking at their smart phones.  After a few minutes I realized there was someone new (Friend 3) standing in front of me.  I thought where did you come from, did I miss seeing you standing there.  The lady behind me caught my eye and gave me a knowing look and commented she wasn’t there before.  I thought “oh well that is a little rude but whatever”.  Now there are three young women in front of me who seem to be friends. Are you confused yet?  Friend One with the easel asks if Friend Two to hold her place in line so she can go deliver the easel to its needed location. “Sure, no problem” So off she goes.

  The line is moving slowing but people are chatting with each other.  Since the line went one direction and then doubled back the person standing to your left  and sometimes right changed depending how far into the “maze” you were. A woman commented to me about my lymphedema sleeve and we had a brief conversation about being cancer survivors. I notice that a man’s name badge says Qatar and commented that he is far from home.  There are several comments wondering about if there will be enough books.  Then a woman comes by and she is counting the number of people in line.  She stops less than 10 people behind me and says “after this person we can’t promise that you will get a book. You are welcome to stand in line and meet Mr Rather but you probably won’t get a book.”

  Friend Two and Friend Three have been talking and seem oblivious to the”count”.  I say “excuse me but the woman just counted all of us and you may want to tell her that your friend isn’t here so she can include her in the count” Friend Two looks concerned, thanks me and gets out of line to go talk to the “chief counter and line organizer”.  She comes back and states that they can’t hold a place for Friend One.  She seems genuinely upset.  In my mind I am thinking Friend Three should get out of line and give the spot to Friend One.  I mean Friend One was there first.  Granted she did leave but her arms were full. I can hear soft whispers from the ladies behind – oh my, how is this going to go down. After awhile Friend One finally returns and Friend Two shares the bad news. Friend One goes to talk to the “chief counter and line organizer” and we can all see much head shaking. Friend One walks back and states that she wasn’t counted and has no book and  then stares at Friend Three. I think she excepted her to give up her spot since Friend Three had elbowed her way in.  But Friend Three doesn’t  say a word and she doesn’t make eye contact. There is a pause and Friend One walks away, Friend Two seems embarrassed and Friend Three is checking her phone.  And what really make this whole situation fascinating was the day before  Dan Ariely , author of  Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions had given a presentation on studies he has done on “cheating”. Wow, I think this book signing line could have been part of his study.

  I do now own a signed copy of Rather Unspoken as do Friend Two and “Friend” Three as well as the ladies behind me.

  Posted in daily life, respect in the real world | 0 Comments | Tagged little things, respect

• Where I am today

  Posted at 10:31 pm by missannsays, on June 20, 2012

  I am writing this blog while I am sitting in a library.  Which isn’t an unusual thing for me, I love libraries. What is unusual is where the library is. The library I am sitting in is in Holy Cross Monastery.  There are no voices to be heard because it is after 9:00pm – the Great Silence has begun.  Until 8:30 tomorrow morning there will not be idle chatter or cell phone calls or deep conversations. In the morning, there will be bells tolling, monks chanting, and delicious food being served at breakfast. Holy Cross Monastery is a beautiful 110-year-old monastery overlooking the Hudson River.  It is situated right across the river from the Vanderbilt Mansion.  There is a certain feel of the building and the big black doors that remind me of my fifth grade field trip to the cloisters in NYC.  The chanting of the monks also reminds me of visiting the market and the cathedral in Chester.  Chester is a walled city in the north of England.  My mother’s hometown is Chester, England. The summer between my fifth and sixth grade year I would spend 6 weeks in England  visiting my grandfather, great-grandmother and my “cool” uncle.  My “cool” uncle was only 10 years older than me. He was into popular music and “cool” stuff.  Once when he visited my hometown of Waldwick, NJ he was mistaken for one of the Beatles. He was the right age, had the hair cut and the accent but he wasn’t John, Paul, George or Ringo.  He was actually chased down our street by a group of young teens.  My cool rating went up.

  My dad would join us in England for 2 of the 6 weeks.  My dad loves history so while he was in England we would visit “every castle in the whole country” or so it seemed to a 12-year-old girl.  My dad would read all those little signs on items in museums and cathedrals and castles.  It would make me crazy but now I get it.  As my dad always said,”travel is wasted on the young”. I am grateful for those experiences but I didn’t appreciate the significance of them at the time.

  I was also reminded today of another experience that I didn’t fully appreciate at the time.  While sitting on the porch today sipping coffee with a fellow workshop attendee, I realized her coffee cup said “Desmond Tutu”.  Years ago, a friend and I preformed a liturgical dance at a service in the Newark Cathedral.  Reverend Desmond Tutu was the keynote speaker.  It amazes me that I had that opportunity. Just wish I had appreciated it at the time.

  In case you are wondering why I am at a monastery.  I am attending a writers workshop.  Actually I am hanging out with some terrific people who someday I will be able to say “oh I knew __________ before they were the best-selling author.  We were at a workshop together”

  Posted in daily life, faith, memories | 3 Comments | Tagged friendship, little things, prayer

• somewhere between Mary Poppins and Mrs Doubtfire

  Posted at 1:02 am by missannsays, on June 13, 2012

  I spend quite a bit of time with children.  Of course when I was teaching dance I spent more time than now. Even now between children’s ministries in my local church or district events or at the Tribute Center, I have at least a “weekly dose” of children. But that is different that spending 24/7.This past week I have been helping to care for my 3 grand-nieces and 1 grand-nephew all under the age of 6.  And I have been reminded of things I forgotten about life with little kids. I had forgotten how long bath time, bedtime and getting in the car can take.

  I had forgotten that little kids have no sense of personal space. Years ago I went to the Indianapolis Children’s Museum. They had this very interesting display of footprints showing how in different cultures people stand different distances apart. The display explained where it is culturally correct to stand. I was reminded of that display this week as I was saying “could you move back a little”, “please don’t stand on my feet”, “you are too close to me”.  Of course the plus side to that is a 3-year-old crawling into your lap and giving you a hug. Or a 2-year-old saying they want to sit next to you at the dinner table.

  I had forgotten that little kids wear more clothes in one day than grown ups wear in a week.  Not because they have gotten dirty but because they change their clothes constantly.  This may be just a girl thing.  I remember my girls doing this especially if they were playing dress up. This week we had daily “fashion shows”  complete with music and many wardrobe changes. Also sizing of children’s clothing is weird.  How can one child wear – 24 months, 2T and 3T.  It makes sorting laundry tricky for visiting aunts.

  I had forgotten that little kids “lie”. Bill Cosby has a great bit about this. You can probably find it on YouTube. Anyway I love how they look you in the face and say what they want to hear. Then when you call them on it, they play the “my mom or my dad said” card.  Which is just their way of trying to pull rank on you. I usually counter with “okay, I will just go ask them”. Wow, I am no fun.

  On Sunday, I joined my niece and her 4 kids at a Bar be que for her MOPS (mother of preschoolers) group.  I was the oldest person there by at least 20 years. Anyway this 4-year-old boy is climbing on the backyard fort/jungle gym and is starting to climb on the top (where kids aren’t suppose to go). I comment to him that maybe that isn’t a good idea and he looks me straight in the face and says “my dad says I can”. So I respond “really maybe you should go confirm that with him.” – he didn’t appreciate that comment.

  At this same party, there was supposed to be a kiddie pool. Since we weren’t sure how the pool thing was going to work, I brought my swimsuit since my niece just had a baby and can’t go in a pool.  My thought was I can put my suit on with my coverup, sit on the side and watch my 3 grand-nieces. Surprise, it is a 4 foot deep above ground pool. There are kids everywhere but no parents in the pool. There is no way the grand-nieces can swim unless Aunt Ann goes in. So I put on my suit and went in. Of course an above ground pool means going up the little ladder, turning around at the top and getting in. Thankfully the water was warm and only 2 out of 3 grand nieces wanted to go in. I was the oldest adult there and the only one in a swimsuit and in the pool.  I felt like I was perceived as somewhere between Mary Poppins and Mrs Doubtfire. I will admit that a couple of the moms asked if I wanted to come and watch their kids for a few days. I can’t believe the situations I get myself into.

  This past week has been terrific. I have snuggled with a newborn, sat next to a 2-year-old at every meal, been delighted to hear a 3-year-old sing VBS songs and taught an almost 6-year-old to play War. I have chuckled under my breath, exchanged “knowing” looks with my niece and felt totally blessed to spend time in Minnesota with family. I have also been reminded of an essay that was poplar in the early 90’s.  I have included it for you. Enjoy!!

  All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten

  by Robert Fulghum – an excerpt from the book, All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten

  All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten. ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

  Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do we. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK.

  Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living. Take any of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if all – the whole world – had cookies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had a basic policy to always put thing back where they found them and to clean up their own mess. And it is still true, no matter how old you are – when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

  © Robert Fulghum, 1990. Found in Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, Villard Books: New York, 1990, page 6-7.

  Posted in daily life, kid stuff, relationships | 2 Comments | Tagged kid stuff, little things

• all in the family

  Posted at 1:09 am by missannsays, on June 9, 2012

  I am spending a few days with my nephew and his family. Well, he isn’t really my nephew because he isn’t the child of one of my siblings.  He is my husband’s nephew but to be honest I don’t distinguish that way. In the family tree he is a nephew and he and his amazing wife just had their fourth child. They had a son to add to their beautiful family of three daughters. My nephew is in the National Guard and his two weeks of active duty is falling right after they have added this fourth bundle of joy to their family.  They had asked if I would be willing to spend a few days helping out with the kids while he is away.  I said yes and actually came a couple of days early so I could see him.

  Even though I didn’t have the luxury of spending hours and hours with him and his siblings as they grew up, I am receiving the priceless gift of a “grown up” relationship. My sister-in-law and her family have always lived half way across the country. They were in Kansas and we were in New York.  We made a two “treks” to Kansas and they would travel to NJ to visit my husband’s parents.  There were always Christmas  and birthday cards and gifts exchanged and telephone calls every now and then.  Unfortunately distance and the expense of travel, raising children and working doesn’t make frequent visits some thing that happens as often as you would.

  When we got married, Bruce and I decided that Thanksgiving would be spent with “his side” one year and “my side” the next year. I have continued to alternate that way ever since we started that tradition.  The great thing about that is I have never cooked a turkey.  Even when my mom stopped hosting, my sister started hosting and her husband started cooking the turkey.  Four years ago I did host Thanksgiving at my home but my brother-in-law cooked the turkey. Two years ago I hosted at the Barn but my brother-in-law cooked the turkey again.

  This past Thanksgiving was a Van Hine year.  As I started thinking on that I realized I couldn’t expect by 93-year-old mother-in-law to cook and I probably couldn’t get her to come to my house.  As I pondered the situation, I had a little thought that would become an amazing blessing.  I asked my mother-in-law if she would like to travel with me to Kansas to have Thanksgiving in her daughter’s home. First I mentioned this idea to my sister-in-law and she stated “mom will never travel to Kansas”.  I just had a thought that she would.  Last September my sister-in-law was in NJ and we went out to lunch with my mother-in-law.  And I asked my mother-in-law “Do you want to go to Kansas with me for Thanksgiving?” And without hesitation she said “Yes”. Wow – okay, road trip with mom. So I made our travel plans. Keep it simple was my goal. Non-stop, don’t fly too early, easy parking, request a wheelchair. After the plans were set, I explained to mom that I would drive to her home in South Jersey, spend the night and then we would drive to the Philadelphia Airport.  We would use a parking service that I had used before so it was simple.  Go to parking place, they drive you to the airport in your car so you don’t have to get out or move your luggage. And it worked.  But it more that worked because my sister-in-law and her hubby arranged with their kids and their families to all show up in Kansas over Thanksgiving weekend.

  The day after Thanksgiving my mother-in-law got to see her 3 grandchildren, 2 of their spouses, 5 great granddaughters and 2 great grandsons.  It was busy and loud and wonderful.  And I got to reconnect  and spend time with my nieces and nephews and thus the trip to Minnesota this week. So today I taught little girls ballet, played with playdoh, washed dishes, folded clothes, encouraged a tired mom and held a 2 week ago baby – it doesn’t get better than that.

  One of the things on my bucket list is to take a train across country and visit family, friends and acquaintances along the way.  But I think I might just have to get on a plane in the next year to visit a niece and her family in Chicago, a nephew and his family in Fort Collins, and another new baby – my brother’s grandson due in a few weeks in South Carolina.  The great thing about family is those bonds that bind you together can always be strengthened by spending more time to together.  Airline ticket – $$$, first piece of luggage -$$, food on the plane – $, spending time with family – worth every penny.

  Posted in daily life, kid stuff, relationships, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged friendship, little things

• my little brother

  Posted at 9:57 pm by missannsays, on June 5, 2012

  Today would have been my brother’s birthday. He died suddenly in December of 2008. He was my younger brother by 2 years. And I loved introducing him as “my little brother”. You see what made that such a funny way to introduce him was the fact that he was 6 feet 4 inches tall. He wasn’t little. In High School his nickname was “rhino” – he was big. But I remember him more as Jimbo, my little brother.  He had a great sense of humor which wasn’t always appreciated by my mom. When my mom would be disciplining him, many times he would answer in some strange accent.  Pretending he was German ala Colonel Kling of Hogan’s Heros or Pakistani. He loved to tease my mom about being an alien because she had a green card. He would actually call her “mum” and speak of the “mother country”.

  My brother and I were very different. During our teen years,  I thought he was weird. I was really into ballet so to me “to live was to dance, to dance was to live”.  He enjoyed watching Star Trek with my dad. He read Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit.  He would see films and talk about the symbolism. He wore earth shoes, a chaftan and had long hair for a few years. He loved Monty Python and George Carlin. He would talk about politics and government. He didn’t really like school. One year, he had the same teacher for science that I had for chemistry and my parents didn’t really believe him that the teacher was bad until I started to complain about the same teacher. Guess that proves, the old adage about crying wolf or it shows I was “goody two shoes”. When my brother turned 18, he walked into the guidance office and asked to see his “file.”  He said he was now considered an adult and should know what was written in it. They weren’t amused.

  My brother would go to college, fall in love, get married, start his career and have a child before I even left home. In my eyes, he was the adventurer. In August of 2001, he and his wife would move back to the East Coast.  And that would prove to be such a blessing to me. In the days, weeks and months following September 11, he was there for me, my girls and my parents. In October of 2001, we were invited to the Concert for New York.  My daughters wanted to go so I invited my brother and sister-in-law to join us.  Actually, I figured my brother would be “good protection” if something went wrong.  I remember my sister-in-law brought us all ear plugs – great idea.There were bands and celebrities that I recognized and some my daughters knew and I didn’t. At one point in the concert, my older daughter turned to me and said “who is that?”, I said “The Who”, she said “who??”. Still makes me chuckle.

  On December 9, 2008, I was driving home from the studio and I drove through Boston Market to pick up some dinner.  My cell phone rang and it was my sister.  She said “Are you driving?”, I responded “yes”. She said “I will talk to you later”. I said “hold on” and pulled to the side of the road.  And then she said something that was so unbelievable that it didn’t even make the list of bad things you think could happen. She said “James is dead”  Who, What, How???  This may sound silly but I have never gone back to that Boston Market. I remember the date so easily because my sister’s birthday is December 10. Scripture says “sorrow lasts for a night but joy comes in the morning”.  That verse had been important to me after Sept 11 but after my brother’s death it holds even more meaning.

  You know what I remember most about my little brother.  I remember the big hug he gave me the last time I saw him which was on Thanksgiving.  He gave great hugs.  I remember him walking down the street to the Tribute Center to visit me one day when he was also in Manhattan. Because he was so tall you could see him coming from the top of the block. I also remember a note from him and his wife in April of 1984, that said “we know you have just bought a house, and we know that unforseen expenses can come up and we want you to know that we would gladly help if you need it.” I cried when I read that 28 years ago and that offer of help still makes me cry today.

  I miss you Jimbo, my little brother.

  Posted in daily life, memories, relationships | 6 Comments | Tagged friendship, little things

• totally random

  Posted at 8:43 pm by missannsays, on May 31, 2012

  • Last week on the  car radio I kept hearing this ad for a “solar energy” system for your home.  Anyway towards the end of the ad they say “call for a quote on your solar system”. So I can purchase my own private solar system? Do I get to pick my planets, and constellations  or are there set packages?  It just struck me as funny.

  • While driving home from PA 2 weeks ago, I saw a road sign that said “Keep a safe distance when following”. I understand the principle behind that and I am sure it is true while driving.  But I got to thinking about my spiritual walk and being a follower of Jesus. After pondering that for a few days, I came to the conclusion that sometimes I “keep a safe distance when following” and I probably shouldn’t.

  • This past weekend my sister and I had to sort through stuff at my parents. (See “It’s on the Ho Chi Minh”) We needed to get some personal items out of my dad’s totally out of control library. Imagine floor to ceiling books on shelves going in every direction and some have collapsed.  We weren’t even sure where the light switch was. Well, I tried to talk my sister into letting me video tape her crawling in and over and around stuff so we could put it on YouTube and then it could go viral.  She didn’t like the idea but I was really laughing at the whole concept. She finally said “Wow!! You are cracking yourself up.” Which I was and I think the reason the whole thing made me laugh so hard was I barely know how to video using my phone, I don’t know how to put something on YouTube and I am not even sure I understand what going viral means. lol

  • I have discovered a couple of ways to guarantee that the traffic jam you are caught in will start moving. The first way is deciding to put hand cream on your hands. As soon as the lotion is on your hands but before you can rub it in, the traffic will start to move. The second way  is deciding you want to take a photo of 1 WTC.  Open your window, get ready and as soon as you go to hit the button the guy behind you will honk. Works every time.

  

  Posted in daily life | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, little things

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