Miss Ann Says

Category: daily life

• an acorn in my pocket

  Posted at 8:00 pm by missannsays, on October 9, 2012

  

  I realized the other day that I had an acorn in the pocket of my jean jacket. Not just any acorn but an acorn from one of  the white swamp oak trees on the National September 11 Memorial.  I had placed the acorn in my pocket last fall and forgotten about it. I remember hearing or reading somewhere “think about it which is more of a miracle: an acorn taking years to become a mighty tree or if the acorn instantly became a mighty tree.” I think both are miraculous. We live in a time when instantly seems to be the amount of time it should take to do anything. Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful for the advances in food preparation, communications, and even something as basic as ready-made clothing but I also wonder if we have lost something along the way.

  I personally thing what we have lost is being in the moment. We have lost the journey. When I would direct camp, I would tell my counselors that they needed to follow the schedule but they also needed to “seize the moments”. Walking from point a to point b wasn’t just about getting to the destination on time. It was also about the journey, the moments. Year ago, I saw a sign outside of a church that read “Jesus never rushed!”

  I also think we have lost the wonder. Think about it a tiny acorn can become a mighty oak tree – wow!! Do we still have “wow” moments?  It is “wow” moment when all that preparation on Thanksgiving produces a delicious meal shared by family and friends. It is a “wow” moment when your good friend hands you a hand-made knitted pumpkin for no other reason than she is sharing her talents and love with you. Those “wow” moments took time and intention. I read that when the cathedrals of England were being built people knew they would never see the completion in their lifetime but they still donated their talents and money. They were in for the journey even though they wouldn’t be there for the completion. There are many opportunities in our present world that need us to be there for the journey. When I started leading tours for the Tribute Center there was only an empty hole where the WTC had been. There wasn’t even the Tribute Center. But now there is there a busy construction site, a Tribute Center and a National September 11 Memorial with trees. Someday there will be a museum but for now I will keep leading tours and every time I stick my hand in my pocket I will think “wow”.

  On a totally random note: I have decided that squirrels need to have better friends. I really think their friends dare them to run across the street, to play “chicken” with cars. Seriously, what else would explain the weaving and dodging they do – either look both ways and cross the street or wait until I have driven by 🙂

  Posted in daily life, faith, September 11 | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, little things, telling the next generation

• His plans for my days

  Posted at 9:46 pm by missannsays, on October 4, 2012

  On Tuesday, I had the opportunity to tell my September 11 story to a group of teens at the high school my daughters had attended. My plan for the morning had been to leave early, go to the post office and then drive the route I had driven so many times before.  Well when Tuesday morning rolled around, I realized I had time to go to the post office later in the day and just felt that if I went first thing I may be late for “school”.  So I left and drove the same route I had driven so many times before. I even made note of “what color was winning?”. When my girls were little and we would travel a similar route to their childcare center, I would ask them “what color is winning?” translation which color of leaves is the most prominent. I did make a detour through Starbucks for a Grande Chai Latte. I was glad Starbucks hadn’t been on the route to school when my daughters were in high school or we would have had to leave the house even earlier. Anyway on Tuesday  I would arrive at “school” early and I would sit in the car for a few minutes finishing my Chai Latte.

  I would decide to go into the office to visit the “office moms” as my younger daughter used to call the two wonderful women who manage the front office (and the school).  As I walked up to the front door of the school a woman was walking in carrying a gym bag. She held the door open for me and I followed her into the front office. I stood back as she explained to one of the “office moms”, Mrs P. that her daughter had called/texted her to say she had left her gym clothes at home. Mrs P said she would take care of getting the clothes to her daughter. And then Mrs P. looked at me and said “you two have something in common.” Later, Mrs P would tell me  that when she looked up from her desk and saw both of us standing there she couldn’t believe it and realized we needed to know we shared a connection.  So I told the “gym clothes mom” that my husband was one of the firefighters killed on September 11 and I asked her what her connection was. She told me her husband had  been killed on the 101 floor of Tower 1. We both expressed our condolences to each other and then I asked her if I could give her a hug. We hugged and continued talking. I asked how old her children are (15, 17) and we had an amazing conversation. I asked if she would like to have coffee sometime and gave her my “card”, we hugged again and she left. And that was a God moment because there is no way we should have both been in that office at that moment. I am very grateful for His plans for my days.

  Posted in daily life, faith, September 11 | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, little things, September 11

• “what’s in a name?”

  Posted at 7:46 pm by missannsays, on September 24, 2012

      “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
  By any other name would smell as sweet.” Juliet in Romeo and Juliet

  some random thoughts on “names”

  As I was heading to the parking garage yesterday, I noticed signs announcing that the Battery Tunnel is being renamed the Hugh L. Carey Tunnel. I hope that is a wonderful remembrance of Mr Carey’s public service. But I do  wonder how long it will take people to refer to it as the Carey Tunnel instead of the Battery Tunnel. In the past year or so, the Triboro Bridge has been renamed the RFK Bridge. Does anyone call it that?  I have noticed on some highway signs it has the exit number and then there is a little sign that says “old exit #___”. I have often wondered how long do you keep the old exit # signs up. At what point do you have to start using the new number.

  When Bruce and I were picking names for our children. There were a few names I couldn’t even consider because through the years I had students with those names. We had three girl’s names picked but neither of our daughters looked like a Sarah so no Sarahs in our family. I have had students who I always called the wrong name because they didn’t look like that name. To be honest I am a little confused by some of the names parents especially celebrities pick for their children. I don’t think some parents think through that the child is going to have that name forever (unless they change it). And some names are hard to spell and will be very long on that lined paper in kindergarten.

  One of my favorite stories about “names” happened when I was a kindergarten aide at a Christian School. The teacher had asked “who remembers the names of the young men in our story yesterday?” The day before the teacher had read the story from Daniel 3 about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace. At the time there was a poplar Veggie Tales video about the same story.  A few little hands waved in the air and Miss B. picked a one of the eager students to answer. The child said “Shack, Rack and Benny” – the names from the Veggie Tales video. We tried not to laugh and Miss B. said “Almost what are their real names?” More little hands waving. She calls on another student who says “Larry, Bob and Junior”. In case you aren’t familiar those are the Veggie Tale’s character’s names. It was too funny. And the whole time I am thinking Shadrach, Meshach and “to bed we go”.

  The Bible is full of stories of God giving people new names – Abram and Sarai will become Abraham and Sarah, Jacob will become Israel, Saul will become Paul. They will each receive a new name and a new task. I am reminded of a time  when I was teaching the story of Jacob’s name change and a student says “He was named after a country that is weird!” ‘No, the country was named after him.”  And then another student chimes in “your cousin is named Aja (prononuced asia) and that is a continent.” Don’t you just love 5th graders. 🙂

   My favorite name story is when Moses asks “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, “The God of your fathers has sent me to you, and they ask me,”What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?” “God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites:’I am has sent me to you'”

  Posted in daily life, faith, kid stuff | 0 Comments | Tagged kid stuff, little things

• a dollar crown

  Posted at 6:44 pm by missannsays, on September 21, 2012

  When I had related the following story to my mom she had said “$1 and a dream” – the lottery slogan. Anyway this week I saw how  a simple $1 purchase could excite a child and give me a sense of delight. I had ventured into Target to get some things I needed to replenish  my mother’s assisted living stash – toothpaste, shampoo. I was also looking for “labeling tape” to be able to label the new shirts I had purchased for my dad. I didn’t find “labeling tape”. I actually ended up writing his name on his collar using a Sharpie. With a graying population and so many people in assisted living or nursing homes, I think there is a market for “labeling tape” but what do I know. When you enter  most Targets they have those $1 bins which I am sure are the bane of every mom’s existence but if you need to restock the treasure  box at church they are great. I found a package of glow in the dark insects and another package of glow in the dark snakes. Perfect for the treasure box. And then I saw it. The things little girl’s dreams are made of “a crown headband with little diamonds.”  But it wasn’t your average crown it was made of a plush, soft material, a little understated but with enough blink to shine. The minute I saw it I knew there was a child at church who would just love it. The crown headband was available in a couple of colors – pink, purple. I knew the child I had in mind would love purple.

  To encourage the kiddos  to bring their supplies, do their assignments and behave at quizzing on Wednesday nights I have a point system. The children get 1 point each for attendance, bringing your student book, bringing your Bible, bringing your scripture booklet and just because. Just because is when for no particular reason Miss Ann gives you a point. You get 2 points each for doing your homework, bringing a friend and memorizing the Bible verse. The children can’t actually ever lose their points because they have earned them but their points can be frozen. Frozen points mean you have “stepped over the line.” That doesn’t happen very often but it could 🙂  Anyway at the end of each weekly class we “do points.” After the points for that week have been tallied, the children have a choice to spend or save their points.  The save or spend choice teaches another life lesson but don’t tell my kiddos.  You can spend your points as follows: 5 points for the candy bag, 10 points for the treasure box, 15 for the scripture cd, 20 for the dog tags, 25 for the memory verse poster, 50 or 100 points are some kind of super treat – a trip for ice cream or bowling, something we do together.   We still need to spend their 50/100 points from last year. There has been much discussion about where to go, etc. Unfortunately busy schedules this summer didn’t allow us to spend those points.

  This week was the second week of quizzing. I hadn’t been there the first week because of my surgery so points didn’t start until this week. I gave everyone 5 points for the first week  just because. I reminded them that we would be spending our leftover points from the last school year in the near future. And we were starting points over for this year. And then we did points for this week. Everyone decided to save their points except for my youngest student. She wanted to spend 10 of her 12 points on the treasure box. So I placed the treasure box on the table in front of her and she opened it. And her face said it all “a crown” – it was the perfect reaction. It was the reaction I had known I would see when I spotted that $1 crown in Target. She was so excited. I cut the tags off of the crown and placed it on her head and I think she was suddenly standing straighter and walking taller. I know her smile was infectious.  It was an absolutely delightful moment for all of us.

  It makes me smile to think about how spending $1 made a little girl’s day. I hope I remember her squeals of delight for a long time.  I also hope I never forget that even in today’s world you can wow a 6-year-old girl with a dollar crown. It was fabulous.

  Posted in daily life, kid stuff | 0 Comments | Tagged kid stuff, little things

• then and now – Sept 16

  Posted at 8:00 pm by missannsays, on September 16, 2012

  Sunday Sept 16, 2001 would prove to be the “tipping point”.  Family, friends, neighbors, total strangers were stopping by my home with meals and encouraging words which was so very kind but I couldn’t be “all things to all people”. It was time to “circle the wagons”.  Steve, my pastor, would take the lead and announce that “Ann doesn’t answer the phone or the door.”  He would have the church organize updates and meals. The church would add daily updates on their website. My sister would be responsible for answering the phone and door and there would be a list of people I would speak to and/or see. There was actually a physical list of people. I would also make a list of people who I needed to speak to – people who I needed to talk to so I could stay strong.  Months later people would joke “that they made the list.”  Pastor Steve also stated that I would take a nap every day.  Each day, my sister and I made a list of things we wanted to accomplish – simple things like take a shower, do laundry.  There was a sense of being in limbo, a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop, a sense of not knowing what you should do next. Squad 41 would call each day with their updates “nothing to report. We are still looking. There are voids.”

  I think we sometimes feel that it is wrong to “circle the wagons” but there are times that you have to take care of yourself and those closest to you. There are times that it can only be about you. I hope you have friends who are so close to you that they will “circle the wagons” for you.  I remember before September 11 being concerned how would I tell Bruce’s mom, or my parents or my kids that something had happened to him. Firefighter, police officer and military families live with the possibility that they won’t be coming home. So you think about “what if such and such happens.” On September 11, Bruce’s sister was visiting their mom in southern NJ which may not seem like a big deal but Bruce’s sister lives in KS. She would be there that day and for weeks to come. In August, my brother and his wife had moved back to NJ from CA so they were there for my parents. So that left me only my daughters to take care of and that was a gift. It was another blink from God that he had it all under control. On September 11,2001 I went into mother lion mode and my goal was to protect my girls no matter what. And I was fortunate to have my sister and other friends would helped me protect my girls and helped to take care of me.

  Today I read a very sad article on the 9-11 server that I subscribe to. The widow of the pilot of United flight 93 died of an accidental drug overdose caused by mixing alcohol, anti depression drugs and anti-anxiety drugs. I feel so bad for her family. It is just so sad. I always try to remember when I hear, read or see a story in the news that “everyone has a family” or at least I hope they do.

  Posted in daily life, faith, memories, September 11 | 2 Comments | Tagged little things, September 11

• TV – random watching

  Posted at 8:48 am by missannsays, on September 15, 2012

  Since I am “recovery” this week from gall bladder surgery my television set has been on far more than usual. oh my!!! Until very recently I only had broadcast cable. I had channels 2 – 14. In my hometown, you must have cable to get television and there is only one cable provider.  For many years I had cable television not HBO and the fancy stuff just your family basic type plan. A few years ago my cable provider was in “negotiations” about Food network and HGTV, it was at that point I went to just broadcast cable.  I realized that the only channels I sat down to watch were ABC, NBC, CBS, ION, PBS Food Network or HGTV.  If I was looking for something to watch I would scroll through all the other channels. I realized television was a good time waster and I wanted to be more intentional about my time. Don’t get me wrong there are times that “vegging out” is totally in order. Also  I wanted to send a message to the cable company. “If you are getting rid of Food and HGTV, I am getting rid of you.” I don’t think my dropping cable made a difference to them but it did make a difference to my cable bill. I remember when I called to cancel the customer service person said “You realize your  internet fee is going to increase by $5” To which I responded “my overall bill is going to decrease by $50”. Still sounds like a savings to me 🙂

  The “perfect storm” has caused me to get real cable again. The “perfect storm” included wanting to lower my house phone costs and The Newsroom on HBO. I heard Aaron Sorkin had a new show. I loved  The West Wing and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. The house we rented on vacation had HBO so I got to watch The Newsroom and that was it I had to  see it. I will issue a disclaimer – they use the “f” word a lot. I am personally not use to that in the circles that I travel but I guess in the real world that happens. Anyway I got HBO to watch The Newsroom and as soon as I finish watching the 10 episodes for a second time I am dropping HBO.  I will get in again when second 2 starts. The Newsroom has not disappointed.

  So during this time of “recovering” I have had a lot of choices of what to watch but actually not really. Maybe it is just me but there is some weird stuff on television and real news can’t be found. The other morning Princess Kate was being interviewed on one channel as the former Duchess Sarah  was on another channel and the Kardashians were on another channel.  While all those interviews were going on American Embassies were being attacked in the Middle East. Really !?! Don’t get me wrong I like Kate and Sarah. I am not so sure about the Kardashians (who are they??) but wasn’t there hard news we should have been hearing. Even with all the channels there isn’t much to watch. Yesterday Law and Order was on 2 different channels at the same time. I guess that is good for the actors – royalties.  I  have watched a lot of NCIS.  My favorite line of all time is when Ziva asks Gibbs “what did Ducky look like when he was young?” and Gibbs says ” he looked like Illya Kuryakin”. I loved the Man from U.N.C.L.E. when I was growing up. I also loved Richard Chamberlain as Dr Kildaire. Of course my all time favorite TV mini series was The Thornbirds. Thus why daughter #2 has the name she has. Funny thing is she has met other young ladies that have her name for the same reason. Ah, the power of a good television show.

  Growing up television actually went off the air for a few hours and then came back on complete with the American flag and the Star Spangled Banner. My siblings and I weren’t allowed to watch the 3 Stooges. My dad said “we were the 3 Stooges and we needed no encouragement.” My dad also used to say “there has been a television invented that ties you to the chair and makes you watch it. Turn it off!!!”

  Posted in daily life, memories | 0 Comments | Tagged little things

• 11 random things I have learned since Sept 11

  Posted at 8:23 pm by missannsays, on September 7, 2012

  

  So here goes 11 random things I have learned since September 11, 2001. Some serious and some not.

  1. My dad was right when he said not to make any major changes in my life until after the first year. Good advice. The first year we were numb and on autopilot.
  2. Even after the darkness night, the sun will rise the next morning.
  3. Life is meant to be lived one day at a time. And sometimes it is meant to be lived the next ten minutes and then the ten minutes after that.
  4. Everyone has a story. And I can’t know what someone has been through by looking at them.
  5. Listening is the greatest gift you can give someone.
  6. There are some things that can only be understood by another FDNY widow. And I am very grateful for the FDNY widow friends in my life.
  7. When visiting the White House, don’t wander down a path unless you have been given permission. You may run into sniper people.
  8. David Hasselhoff is taller than he looks on TV, Glenn Close is very tiny and “Ginger” from Gilligan’s Island is way too skinny. Met all of them at the Squad 41 Christmas party in December of 2001.
  9. I have to make  decisions that are right for me and my family.  And until you have walked in my shoes please don’t judge me. I will respect your choices even if you don’t respect mine.
  10.  Squad 41 thinks I have “culture”. In March of 2002, there was a trip donated by the Paris Fire Department to spend a week in France and Squad 41 said they thought of me because I have “culture’. 🙂
  11. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

  Photo is of the flag that covered Bruce’s body when his remains were found in March 2002. The medal is the Congressional Medal of Valor which was awarded to all first responders who died in the line of duty on September 11, 2001. We were invited to the White House in September of 2005. Not inside just on the lawn. Still trying to get an invitation inside.

  “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” -Robert Frost

   

  Posted in daily life, respect in the real world, September 11 | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, respect, September 11

• And the survey says…

  Posted at 9:03 pm by missannsays, on August 25, 2012

  I don’t know about you but I have noticed that more and more companies and healthcare providers seem to be asking for your opinion on how they are doing. Frankly, I am finding this slightly annoying. My mom broke her arm last April and a trip to the ER, a hospital stay, rehab and doctor’s visit have followed. She has received surveys from the hospital, the rehab facility, the home healthcare agency and her doctor. All have been at least 4 pages long and had prepaid postage. I’m sorry but isn’t this increasing the cost of healthcare. And  do they really think a 80-year-old can fill in those little circles.

  I had the oil changed in my car last Monday and you guessed it on Tuesday morning there was an email with a survey asking about my experience.  I will tell you I wasn’t totally honest about my experience because I was “cutting” the service person some slack.  She was actually very nice to the male customers but a little rude to me. I have never had a problem with the male service representatives but she was just annoyed with me. She asked me if my car is a V4 or V6. I had never been asked that before and I don’t know the answer. I know the make, the model, year and  my license plate number. I got the impression that me not knowing that was an affront to womanhood. That same day I went in a well-known office supply store and as the clerk handed me my receipt he commented that I may want to complete a survey about my experience. And a clothing store the week before wanted me to go online a complete a brief survey.

  I am just a little confused by this whole survey thing for a few reasons. First I don’t think it can be a reliable way of getting feedback. How many people actually complete the survey and send it back? How many people are totally honest when they complete it? Second some of the questions can’t really be answered by a number scale. Third how much is this costing?  Is it cost effective? I am thinking  businesses could train their people to be proud of the work they do and then we wouldn’t need surveys and they could lower costs.

  A random thought about surveys:  Years ago, I was  playing Family Feud with my siblings and cousins and the question was “name something connected with Caesar” and my cousin said “salad”. But the best answer ever while playing a boxed game with siblings and neighbors was while playing Jeopardy. The answer was “Hitler’s first name” and my sister said “What is heil?”. Our neighbor fell off her chair she was laughing so hard and it still makes me smile.

  Another random thought: I have friends who were on Family Feud. They didn’t win big but they had a great time.

  Posted in daily life, memories | 2 Comments | Tagged little things

• a silver bracelet, a buffet and bread

  Posted at 6:23 pm by missannsays, on August 16, 2012

  My aunt died this past weekend. She had taken a terrible fall last November and after months in the hospital and rehab she had gone home. She was doing quite well when other health issues would get the best of her. She fought the good fight but her body could only take so much. My heart is broken for my uncle, cousins and their families. She will be missed. My aunt and uncle and I shared something very special. We had the same wedding day – June 14. I was actually the flower girl in my aunt and uncle’s wedding. To be honest, I don’t remember that event because I was only 4 years old. I have however seen many a photo and for many years I had a small silver  bracelet that my aunt and uncle had given me on June 14, 1958.  I have fond memories of looking at it in my mom’s jewelry box and her saying “that is yours”. When Bruce and I were planning our wedding we picked June 14 as our date. Mainly because his mom had always joked that she would put the “flag out” when he got married. Thus June 14 being Flag Day seemed perfect.  So on June 14, 1980 Bruce and I were married and that silver  bracelet given me by my aunt and uncle was passed along to my flower girl, Bruce’s niece.

   

  On another note, the “Ho Chi Minh” has a new home. (See 5/26 blog) This past Friday my daughter and I met at my parent’s house and loaded the “Ho Chi Minh” into her car for the journey to PA. Last evening she sent me a photo of the buffet fondly called the Ho Chi Minh proudly displayed in her dining area. It seems perfect that it has been passed along to the next generation.

   

  Lately I have been pondering this whole concept of remembering.  The thought that keeps coming to mind is communion “do this in remembrance of me”. A simple cup of wine and a piece of bread. Such ordinary every day items used to remember the greatest sacrifice ever made. And maybe that is the point it is in the every day that we remember.

  Posted in daily life, faith, memories, relationships | 0 Comments | Tagged little things, telling the next generation

• A little bit of this & a little bit of that

  Posted at 4:07 pm by missannsays, on August 1, 2012

  Recently heard:

       “It isn’t about design” spoken by a 10-year-old boy during a “timed tower building challenge” at church.

  “Just because it is hard, it doesn’t mean it is interesting.” spoken by my son-in-law while watching Olympic men’s gymnastics.

  After circling the parking area in Rehoboth Beach more than once, a car pulls out. “Yes” – me “It is a handicapped spot” – my daughter, “I have nanny’s permit in the glove compartment” – me,  A gasp of  total disbelief from both of my daughters, “desperate times, call for desperate measures” –  me.  Luckily it wasn’t actually a handicapped spot. It was so funny how shocked my girls were that I said that. 🙂

  “bats in the belfry or the bedroom”

  While unpacking from vacation, I walked into my daughter’s bedroom and notice a large bug above the closet door. Wait, that is not a bug, it is a bat. I promptly scream, throw the bag I was putting away and slam the bedroom door. My daughter asks what’s wrong. I tell her about the bat and she puts a rolled up towel at the foot of the door. I momentarily thing about using the colander to push the bat to the floor and then maneuver it outside. I realize that probably won’t work and decide to call a friend’s husband, who so very graciously drives over and gets the bat out of the house. Thank you, thank you.

  I am reminded of a couple of previous bat adventures. Camp is famous for having bats which is fine as long as the campers don’t freak out. My brain and many camper/counselor brains understand that in theory bats are good because they eat insects but when they are flying around – not so much. Each night at light’s out I would need to go with my co director to check that the campers were settled down for the night. Some of the camping areas had Adirondack shelters aka “bus shelters”. An Adirondack shelter  is a three-sided shelter with a canvas tarp on the front. Inside there are two bunk beds and a dresser. Anyway as we walk up towards the camping area, we see a bat circling around the light catching bugs. We were expecting to see frighten campers but  instead the girls are just getting ready for bed. Quietly we ask the counselor if she has noticed the bat. “Yes, we have and his name is Henry” For some reason naming the bat, made it okay for the campers – that was a smart counselor.

  My other bat story involves a bat that had made a couple of appearances in our home. One Wednesday evening when Bruce and I returned home from prayer meeting, the girls weren’t home which was upsetting because where were they? They were at my neighbor’s house. In the hour and a half Bruce and I had been gone, a bat had been in the house. My daughters had been watching television and a bat was flying around the living room. They had run next door to our neighbors. Anyway, Bruce does a through sweep of the house and can’t find it. He states with some authority that “it must have flown out”. So we go to bed and in the middle of the night, I can feel the air above my head pulsating – swosh, swosh. I don’t open my eyes because I know the bat is right there. I elbow my husband many times, as I whisper “Bruce, Bruce” and finally he wakes up. I don’t remember how he finally got the bat but I can vividly remember the air swishing above my head. It freaks me out just to think about it. I guess two bats in my house in 28 years isn’t bad but no bats would have been better.

  Posted in daily life, kid stuff, memories | 1 Comment | Tagged kid stuff, little things

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