Miss Ann Says

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• all in the family

  Posted at 1:09 am by missannsays, on June 9, 2012

  I am spending a few days with my nephew and his family. Well, he isn’t really my nephew because he isn’t the child of one of my siblings.  He is my husband’s nephew but to be honest I don’t distinguish that way. In the family tree he is a nephew and he and his amazing wife just had their fourth child. They had a son to add to their beautiful family of three daughters. My nephew is in the National Guard and his two weeks of active duty is falling right after they have added this fourth bundle of joy to their family.  They had asked if I would be willing to spend a few days helping out with the kids while he is away.  I said yes and actually came a couple of days early so I could see him.

  Even though I didn’t have the luxury of spending hours and hours with him and his siblings as they grew up, I am receiving the priceless gift of a “grown up” relationship. My sister-in-law and her family have always lived half way across the country. They were in Kansas and we were in New York.  We made a two “treks” to Kansas and they would travel to NJ to visit my husband’s parents.  There were always Christmas  and birthday cards and gifts exchanged and telephone calls every now and then.  Unfortunately distance and the expense of travel, raising children and working doesn’t make frequent visits some thing that happens as often as you would.

  When we got married, Bruce and I decided that Thanksgiving would be spent with “his side” one year and “my side” the next year. I have continued to alternate that way ever since we started that tradition.  The great thing about that is I have never cooked a turkey.  Even when my mom stopped hosting, my sister started hosting and her husband started cooking the turkey.  Four years ago I did host Thanksgiving at my home but my brother-in-law cooked the turkey. Two years ago I hosted at the Barn but my brother-in-law cooked the turkey again.

  This past Thanksgiving was a Van Hine year.  As I started thinking on that I realized I couldn’t expect by 93-year-old mother-in-law to cook and I probably couldn’t get her to come to my house.  As I pondered the situation, I had a little thought that would become an amazing blessing.  I asked my mother-in-law if she would like to travel with me to Kansas to have Thanksgiving in her daughter’s home. First I mentioned this idea to my sister-in-law and she stated “mom will never travel to Kansas”.  I just had a thought that she would.  Last September my sister-in-law was in NJ and we went out to lunch with my mother-in-law.  And I asked my mother-in-law “Do you want to go to Kansas with me for Thanksgiving?” And without hesitation she said “Yes”. Wow – okay, road trip with mom. So I made our travel plans. Keep it simple was my goal. Non-stop, don’t fly too early, easy parking, request a wheelchair. After the plans were set, I explained to mom that I would drive to her home in South Jersey, spend the night and then we would drive to the Philadelphia Airport.  We would use a parking service that I had used before so it was simple.  Go to parking place, they drive you to the airport in your car so you don’t have to get out or move your luggage. And it worked.  But it more that worked because my sister-in-law and her hubby arranged with their kids and their families to all show up in Kansas over Thanksgiving weekend.

  The day after Thanksgiving my mother-in-law got to see her 3 grandchildren, 2 of their spouses, 5 great granddaughters and 2 great grandsons.  It was busy and loud and wonderful.  And I got to reconnect  and spend time with my nieces and nephews and thus the trip to Minnesota this week. So today I taught little girls ballet, played with playdoh, washed dishes, folded clothes, encouraged a tired mom and held a 2 week ago baby – it doesn’t get better than that.

  One of the things on my bucket list is to take a train across country and visit family, friends and acquaintances along the way.  But I think I might just have to get on a plane in the next year to visit a niece and her family in Chicago, a nephew and his family in Fort Collins, and another new baby – my brother’s grandson due in a few weeks in South Carolina.  The great thing about family is those bonds that bind you together can always be strengthened by spending more time to together.  Airline ticket – $$$, first piece of luggage -$$, food on the plane – $, spending time with family – worth every penny.

  Posted in daily life, kid stuff, relationships, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged friendship, little things

• The Hunger Games

  Posted at 9:43 pm by missannsays, on April 24, 2012

  

   I saw The Hunger Games film this afternoon. I found it to be more disturbing that the books.  I have read the series – The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay the trilogy by Suzanne Collins. It was actually written as young adult literature.  Both of  my daughters, my sister and a friend had recommended the trilogy. So I finally read the first book on the plane flying back to New York from Seattle.  Perfect book for an airplane. I read the other two books when I got home. I liked them and would suggest them but personally I think Hunger Games is a cautionary tale of the future.

   Amazon’s description of The Hunger Games states:  “In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by twelve outlying districts. Long ago the districts waged war on the Capitol and were defeated. As part of the surrender terms, each district agreed to send one boy and one girl to appear in an annual televised event called, “The Hunger Games,” a fight to the death on live TV. Sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives alone with her mother and younger sister, regards it as a death sentence when she is forced to represent her district in the Games. The terrain, rules, and level of audience participation may change but one thing is constant: kill or be killed.”

    I have often thought that the next step after “Survivor” was the lions in the arena but I think the next step is The Hunger Games.  The books were disturbing and thought-provoking.  But today when I saw the film and the depiction of those “supervising” the Hunger Games, I was struck by “wow!! this isn’t hundreds of years in the future. With the right set of circumstances this could be the day after tomorrow” It was too close for comfort.

    In the third book, Mockingjay, there is a statement that has given me pause:  “It’s a saying from thousands of years ago, written in a language called Latin about a place called Rome,” he explains. “Panem et Cicenses translates into ‘Bread and Circuses.’… The writer was saying that in return for full bellies and entertainment, his people had given up their political responsibilities and therefore their rights.”

   May I suggest that if we don’t want the Hunger Games on the fall TV schedule in the not so distant future, let’s be responsible citizens. And I don’t mean a TV series, I mean a real event.

  I would love to discuss this book with an intergenerational group.  I think there would be amazing conversation.  Anyone want to join me?
  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged reading list

• Spring or is it??

  Posted at 6:16 pm by missannsays, on March 22, 2012

  Trees*

  I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a tree. A tree whose hungry mouth is prest Against the sweet earth’s flowing breast;
  A tree that looks at God all day,         And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
  A tree that may in summer wear A nest of robins in her hair;
  Upon whose bosom snow has lain; Who intimately lives with rain.  Poems are made by fools like me, But only God can make a tree.        Joyce Kilmer

  I love living in an area of the country where we experience four seasons.  The beautiful colors of Spring, the long light filled days of Summer, the crisp colorful mornings of Autumn and the stillness of a good snowstorm in Winter. Today is a beautiful Spring day.  There is a blue sky with white puffy clouds and the colors of spring are breaking forth.  The pinks and whites of ornamental trees, the greens of the willow trees and the yellow of the forsythia paint a picture of life returning to the drab landscape after a long winter.  Except we didn’t have a long hard winter this year.  There is a sense that something is missing. A sense that we skipped a part of the seasonal story but also a sense that may not be a bad thing. I guess it is a sense of did we get off too easy, will there be a price to pay for not having a real winter, a waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Maybe it is a sense that this is too good to true – Spring without a real Winter.  I wonder does that actually happen. Well, in the meantime I am going to enjoy it. How about you?

  * My husband’s favorite poem.  Actually I think it is the only poem he ever read 🙂

  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged little things

• what time is it?

  Posted at 8:42 pm by missannsays, on March 17, 2012

  I woke up at 3:30 this morning.  Well, it was 3:30 because I am in Seattle but it was 6:30 in New York.  Actually last week it would have been 5:30 since we hadn’t “sprung forward” yet.  No wonder my body is confused.  I find the concept of time to be fascinating.  An hour is always 60 minutes, and a day always has 24 hours but that can seem too long or too short or just right. When my daughters were young, there were days that were eternally long – would it ever be bedtime.  I remember one winter evening when my husband was on duty, bathing the girls early, eating dinner early and almost getting them in bed extra early.  My older daughter wasn’t old enough to tell time but she knew enough about time to know that the microwave reading “six – three – zero” wasn’t bedtime.  Oh silly mommy.  Of course in retrospect wasn’t that just yesterday.  Days may be long but the years are a blink of an eye.  I think of it this way when I was 5 years old one year was a fifth of my life but know that I am in my 50’s one year is a 50th of my life – no wonder it seems to go faster.

  At summer camp a few years ago I decided to go with the Wednesday schedule on Tuesday.  I didn’t think that was such a strange concept. At camp, Wednesdays were called “wacky wednesdays”- a day of silliness and water games but it was supposed to rain on Wednesday so at Tuesday staff meeting I announced it was Wacky Wednesday. Oh my that freaked a few counselors out.  I said “Wednesday was so wacky that it showed up on Tuesday”. A counselor asked if “we were allowed to do that”.  I thought and replied “God makes the sun rise and we can call it whatever we want”.  The bottom line is a I don’t control the sun rising and setting but I have a say in how I use each day.

  Time is an interesting concept.  It can be friend or foe.  I have often commented that the only thing that separates me from my deceased husband is time.  When I was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 years ago all I wanted was more time. When we are young, we want time to speed up so we can grow up but when we are older we want some days to slow down so we can savor the moments. One of my favorite sayings is “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift.”  Thank you Lord for this day – may I spend the hours wisely.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments

• “said” this week

  Posted at 9:30 pm by missannsays, on March 9, 2012

  a few random things that I heard or read this week.

  funniest:  “so which button do I push to take a picture” said by my mom.  I got my mom a new cell phone because her first phone (that she never used to make a single call in 15 months) died.  The new phone has a camera. I mentioned  the phone has a camera but only showed her how to make a phone call.

  read before but makes me smile every time: “Stop tweeting weird SH!? and clean your apartment” – the billboard I see as I drive up the West side of Manhattan.

  what?!?: “bomb making is his hobby” heard on the radio.

   I totally agree:  “I figure fresh fruit covered in chocolate isn’t so bad for you!!” a Facebook message from a  friend who had sent me an edible arrangement.

  touched my heart: “Dear Ann, Thank you for being brave and telling us your story about September 11th.  I wish I was there to help your husband.  I learned a lot of lessons, like never to use the word hate.” a thank you note from a 5th grader

  gave me pause: “My dad was picked up by the police because they thought he was Muslim”  said to me by a high school student at the Tribute Center.

  broke my heart: “my lymph nodes were cancerous”  said to me by a friend.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments

• mind your own business

  Posted at 8:30 pm by missannsays, on March 2, 2012

  Just mind your own business.  Unfortunately this isn’t a new area of growth for me.  I have been learning or not learning this lesson for years.  Yes, I am in the remedial class of following Jesus. The problem is I like to be in control and I like to fix things and problem solve and  I furiously love my family and friends. So bring it on – I can come up with a plan or at least a few ideas. But that is the problem. Sometimes (probably most of the time) I am not the one who should fix it. I may be the one to come alongside to encourage or listen or pray but I am not supposed to be the “great fixer”.

  In Everything Belongs by Richard Rohr, he states: “We give answers too quickly, take away pain too easily, and quickly stimulate…In terms of soul work, we dare not get rid of the pain before we have learned what it has to teach us…These dark periods are good teachers. Religious energy is in the dark questions, seldom in the answers.  Answers are the way out, but that is not what we are here for. But when we look at the questions, we look for the opening to transformation. Fixing something doesn’t usually transform us.  We try to change events in order to avoid changing ourselves.  We must learn to stay with the pain of life, without answers, without conclusions and some days without meaning. That is the path, the perilous path of true prayer.”

  Years ago I worked as a kindergarten aide at a Christian School. As you may or may not  know tattling is a big annoyance to teachers of young children. The Kindergarten teacher was a wonderful woman of prayer and is a dear friend.  One day she announced that her pastor had spoken on the quintessential verse for kindergarteners. I Thessalonians 4:11 – “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands.”  Through the years I have quoted this verse to children at camp, church and even my own.  I preface it with “Did you know the Bible says to mind your own business”  Well, this week the Lord said it back to me. As my mind was whirling with possible solutions to a  “few different issues”,  I Thessalonians 4:11  had come to mind and then my daily reading from Jesus Calling was based on John 21:22.  The 21 chapter of the book of John is one of my favorites – Jesus makes breakfast for his disciples and the reinstatement of Peter – great stuff.  So I was so excited as I opened my Bible to this all familiar and loved story. And then I read verse 22   “Jesus answers, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” That was the 2 by 4 to my head.  God has a sense of humor.  He wants to make sure I got it so today the same message via Richard Rohr’s book.

  “Stay calm; mind your own business; do your own job. You’ve heard all this from us before, but a reminder never hurts.”  The Message

  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus

• intentional vs random acts of kindness

  Posted at 11:52 pm by missannsays, on February 28, 2012

  Don’t get me wrong I appreciate random acts of kindness.  Someone holding the door open, someone saying “after you”, someone not trying to take the parking spce I was waiting for, a neighbor moving my garbage cans out of the streeet. I think at an earlier time in history it would have been called common courtesy or manners.  Now we think of them as random acts of kindness.  My birthday was two weeks ago and I appreciated the birthday cards, Facebook messages, and gifts  that I received.  But there were two intentional acts of kindness that were done for me that really touched my heart.  The first was a friend from church made dinner for me for the entire week.  Seven little containers full of delicious food with reheating instructions.  It was so kind and took some planning and took her time.  She is a mom of two young children.  Her gift was a sacrifice of her time and resources.  The second gift was an invitation to join a family for dinner on Valentine’s Day.  The husband was cooking dinner for his wife and son and called to see if I would like to join them.  Another intentional act of kindness that meant so much to me.  I think random acts of kindness are great but I want to be intentional in my acts of kindness to others.  Thank you to those who have intentionally or randomly blessed me with your acts of kindness.  Your example spurs me on to be a giver as well as a receiver.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments

• Angry Birds

  Posted at 10:14 pm by missannsays, on February 23, 2012

  Over the past few months the kids at church have asked me “Miss Ann, do you have Angry Birds on your iPhone?”.  My answer was “no”. They would graciously volunteer to “get it for me”.  I would respond “no thanks”.   No Angry Birds on my phone meant no need to hand my phone to a child begging to use it.  Well, don’t tell any of the kids from church but today I got Angry Birds.  I was at the pottery painting place with my 2 nieces and needless to say the 4-year-old was finished painting before the 8-year-old and in a move to keep the little one occupied I got Angry Birds.  There was a moment I thought I will probably regret this easy fix to occupying a 4-year-old. And the next moment I thought “oh no what have I done the kids at church probably just got some kind of world wide bulletin – Miss Ann has Angry Birds.”  And just in case you were wondering the 4-year-old asked me if I had Angry Birds on my phone and I said no but I can get it for you.  I must be getting soft in my old age or there is a difference when it is your niece – the child of your baby sister.  So how do you play Angry Birds 🙂

  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments

• book tidbits

  Posted at 4:04 pm by missannsays, on February 22, 2012

  Last night I finished reading A Million Ways to Die, The Only Way to Live by Rick James.  I am not really sure how I  came to hear about this book. I think someone or more than one someone mentioned it on Facebook.  But no matter how I came to read it, it was thought-provoking.  I didn’t really “get” the book in the beginning.  I can’t say that I have never stopped reading a book because I didn’t get it but I usually “keep on, keeping on” so I kept reading.  Actually I multitask when it comes to books – I read more than one book at a time. The pile of books may include one fiction book but it won’t include two fiction books – that would be too confusing. I am always pleased when the thoughts in one book appear in another book from the current pile.  Of course when I start to tell a friend about new thought I am not really sure where the thought came from. That is a hazard of reading more than one book at a time but I can live with that. A thought that I am still processing: “If, for example, you’ve experienced more trails than anyone you know and it doesn’t seem fair–well, it’s not fair.  You’ve been given twice as much fuel, which can be transformed into twice as much life. Perhaps Satan has harassed you to a degree far exceeding the experience of others.  Well, that’s a calculated risk on his part.  If you don’t give out or give in, he’s actually provided you with excess fuel that can be processed by faith and transformed into life.  If Satan sends you a bomb and it doesn’t explode(that is, if you don’t give up), he’s actually given you a weapon.”   I am still turning than around in my head.  Another tidbit, which is more than a tidbit because it is a lot to chew on: “when we die to self and embrace our trails, unjust suffering, and pain, we do so with the anticipation of how God will resurrect and transform things into life.”  

  Current pile of books: The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick – reading with my niece,  Everything Belongs by Richard Rohr – just finished and I am going to reread, The History of Love by Nicole Krauss- for book club. Bonhoeffer, his biography has been on the pile a long time.  It is good but it is a slow read.    Recently finished: Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston – would highly recommend.  Sanctuary of the Soul by Richard Foster- would also recommend.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged reading list

• Packing

  Posted at 5:19 pm by missannsays, on February 20, 2012

  I have noticed that I take less with me when I travel than I did in the past.  I try to stay within one or two color schemes so I don’t need too many pairs of shoes.  I don’t carry as many books because I have a nook. I count on where I am going or who I am traveling with to have some of the toiletries and the hairdryer.  Of course that assumption has backfired in the past and lead to purchasing shower wash on Vancouver Island for more than I would ever spend in the USA. Traveling with less has allowed me to feel freer since I am not loaded down with too much stuff.  I am not worried about where is this or that or can I carry it all. I am actually trying to travel through each day with less stuff. Living one day at a time – enjoying the now.  Being in the moment and with the person I am with – really listening and enjoying their presence. Keeping it simple.  Decluttering is a good thing whether it is your suitcase, closet, kitchen drawers or life.  Of course I have noticed when I travel I have to remember to pack the “chargers” or that iPhone and nook will be useless in a day or two.  Kind of like me – I need to stay charged 🙂

  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

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