Miss Ann Says

thoughts from everyday life
Miss Ann Says
  • About Me & Media Bio:
  • Speaker/Writer
  • Tag: little things

    • a good (Fri)day

      Posted at 4:26 pm by missannsays, on March 29, 2013

      026
      I saw the flashing lights in my rearview mirror, glanced down at my speedometer and knew those lights were meant for me. I pulled over to the side of the road and pulled the appropriate documents from the glove compartment. As I reached into my purse the police officer was at my window “License and registration”. I pulled the little black folio that holds my driver’s license and my “badge” out of my purse and handed it to the officer. “Please take your license out of the holder and who do you work for?” said the officer. I responded “It’s not me but my husband was one of the firefighters killed on September 11?” The officer took all my paperwork and headed to his car. A few moments later he returned, handed me my paperwork and said “slow it down”. I said “Yes, sir. Thank you.”

      As I pulled away, I felt bad because I really deserved a ticket. I had been driving above the speed limit. Bruce’s (my) badge stating FDNY widow had rescued me from getting a ticket. I was struck by the thought that because Bruce died I didn’t get what I deserved. I was grateful. Then I thought wow because Jesus died I don’t get what I deserve – Jesus paid the price for my sins. Just then I saw the flashing lights again, glanced at my speedometer and was confused because I wasn’t driving above the speed limit. The police car changed lanes, sped past me and pulled over another car. As I drove past, I wondered if they had a “special badge” to void a ticket. I wanted to lend them my badge. I wondered if they knew Jesus loved them and died for their sins. I was struck by how often I don’t tell people that. I was humbled and cried. My speeding story happened a couple of years. Today seemed like a good (Fri)day to tell you. Jesus loves you and died for you. 🙂

      “If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

      Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

      Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.”

      Posted in daily life, faith | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, little things
    • DC and me

      Posted at 3:31 pm by missannsays, on March 11, 2013

      028

      I visited Washington DC this weekend with my youngest daughter. We had a wonderful mother/daughter trip. I hadn’t visited the District of Columbia to see the sights since July of 2001. In 2001, my eldest daughter attended a one week course at American University. I had driven there and back in one day to drop her off. Those were crazy supermom times. When it was time to pick her up, my mom and younger daughter tagged along and we spent a few a days seeing the sights. During this past weekend, I mentioned a few times to M that we did this or that when we were here in 2001. She didn’t remember the trip. She was only 14 years old at the time. She remembered a few things she did on her senior trip to DC in Spring of 2004. And even commented that she didn’t really appreciate all of it. I mentioned that even if she didn’t appreciate the trip it was a worthwhile experience. I quoted my Dad who was famous for saying “travel is wasted on the young.” Which I don’t think he really believed because he gave my siblings and I opportunities to travel. Anyway as we were looking for a parking garage this past weekend, I commented ” July 2001 was the first time I ever remember having to open the trunk and them using that long mirror to look under the car.” Strangely M remembered that, too. Little did we know that would become a normal part of life in today’s world.

      Washington is a beautiful city. It is very clean and doesn’t seem cluttered. As we walked along we mentioned how quiet it seemed in comparison to NYC. I often wonder what people think when they visit NYC for the first time. I love NYC but I think the energy of the city overwhelms people. There is something awe-inspiring about DC. The buildings are so majestic and the memorials are stunning. I felt humbled not just by the beauty of the structures but by the sacrifice and ideals that they represented. I was reminded of what an amazing country I live in. As my Dad used to say “Our form of government isn’t perfect but it is better than any other form of government you will find in the rest of the world.”

      Our 30 hour visit to DC included the Newseum, the Pentagon Memorial, a night tour of the city, the Capitol tour, the Library of Congress, the National Archives and the Museum of American History. We walked a lot. Noteworthy: The Newseum is a newer museum and well worth the time and admission price. The world map that shows which countries have a free press is a moment to be thankful. I was saddened that the Pentagon Memorial doesn’t have a larger number of visitors. I was grateful to visit it with a fellow docent from the Tribute Center who was able to tell my daughter and I the meaning of the various elements that make up this beautiful memorial. He also shared his personal September 11 Pentagon story. The night tour of DC is a must. The memorials are stunning at night and not crowded. The tour bus stops at the Capitol, White House, Jefferson, World War II, Roosevelt, MLK, Lincoln, Korean War, Vietnam and Marine Memorials. The tour guide disembarked with us and told all kinds of interesting facts. If it hadn’t been so windy it would have been perfect. The funniest line of the weekend was when we were in the Library of Congress and we couldn’t find any books. M commented “There are no books. They are all on a Kindle.” 🙂

      The weird thing about the visit was the reality of “the personal loss in the midst of a national tragedy”. The Newseum had a September 11 section, the road in front of the White House is closed because of 9-11, other places had September 11 remembrances and the Capitol had a memorial to Flight 93. It wasn’t a negative thing. It was almost like a secret my daughter and I shared. And I wondered what secrets the other visitors had as they looked at the various memorials and remembered a family member or friend.

      It was a great weekend to spend time with my daughter and to remember that “freedom isn’t free”.

      Posted in books, daily life, memories | 0 Comments | Tagged little things, respect, September 11
    • No parking

      Posted at 10:14 am by missannsays, on March 7, 2013

      I am always leery of parking on the streets of New York City. There are just too many signs stating things that seem to me to be contradicting each other. When I was in my twenties and pursuing my “theater career”, I took acting lessons at HB studios in Greenwich Village. I would park on the street and I got many a parking ticket. Parking tickets in NYC are expensive. Lesson learned so now I use parking garages in NYC which can still be expensive but you don’t have to worry that your car will be there when you get back. FYI: my car was never towed but I worried about it.

      Recently I heard it said that the Christian life (I think this applies to life in general) isn’t a parking space it is a road. I have been pondering this idea of “parking”. I mean think about it if you find a good parking space, it is convenient and safe. Why move? And really what could be more annoying than having to move your car because of that crazy “opposite side of the street parking” rule. Change just for the sake of change may not be beneficial. On the other hand if you never leave your parking space, you have missed the journey.

      On Monday evening the dashboard lights on my car weren’t working. My headlights were working but none of the lights on my dashboard were lit. Well, how big of problem can that be? I can see where I am going and people can see me. I know what radio station I have on. Well, it was actually really a problem because I had no idea how fast I was going. After turning the inside light on and off a few times to try to establish my speed. I realized I had a small flashlight in my car which I could shine on the speedometer so I knew how fast I was going. Just in case you are wondering,I did resolve the issue with the help of some friends and the owner’s manual. When I reset the trip counter I must have turned the knob and it dimmed the dashboard lights.

      In thinking on that experience, I realized that I could see where I was going because my headlights were working but I didn’t know what speed I was traveling at. That is a really good example of my life right now – I think I am headed in the right direction but I am not sure if I am traveling at the right speed.

      Wow and aha moment – maybe that experience was a confirmation that I am on target and moving in the right direction but I need to make sure the “dashboard lights” are on to give me further information. 🙂

      Posted in daily life | 1 Comment | Tagged little things
    • Extravagant Love

      Posted at 8:33 pm by missannsays, on February 14, 2013

      Today when I went to visit my mom, the receptionist at her assisted living facility wished me “Happy Valentine’s Day”. I wished her the same and she commented “We should get rid of all these holidays. There should only be Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.” I was about to comment when another woman commented “And 4th of July. We need to celebrate 4th of July because that means it is summer.” I am thinking okay but 4th of July is important because it is the birth of our nation not because it is summer. The receptionist then states ” All these holidays – Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day are just made up. It isn’t fair to people who don’t have a spouse or parents or…” For a moment I was going to tell her the history of Valentine’s Day and then realized that isn’t what she needed to hear. From past conversations, I know the receptionist is a widow (and she knows I am) so instead I said “It is difficult when you walk in stores around Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, or Father’s Day and see all the cards you don’t need to buy. I think they should have a selection of cards entitled “this stinks!!”. She smiled 🙂

      Today is the two month anniversary of the Newtown shootings. It is strange but on Dec 14 when it happened I thought oh no the two month anniversary will be on Valentine’s Day. How sad. My prayer for those families has been that they will not doubt that their children knew they were loved and that they will know they are loved by their Heavenly Father.

      “If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
      Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end…We don’t yet see things clearly. We are squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he know us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is Love.”

      Posted in daily life, faith | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, little things
    • between Lincoln and Valentine’s Day

      Posted at 7:08 pm by missannsays, on February 12, 2013

      My birthday is between Lincoln’s birthday and Valentine’s Day. It is February 13. To be honest, I don’t think my husband actually ever knew the date of my birthday. He did know it was the day before Valentine’s Day. And if he started hearing commercials for Valentine’s Day he knew my birthday was coming. He was very thoughtful about purchasing gifts and cards – a little last-minute but thoughtful none the less.  One year he had been paying bills before he signed my birthday card and  absentmindedly signed my card  “love your hubby, Bruce Van Hine” I laughed when I read it and asked him “do I have so many husbands that you have to clarify which one.” I still have that card.

      A Lincoln story: When I was a kindergarten aide, the students had a coloring page of a young Abe Lincoln staying in front of a log cabin. One of the boys colored Lincoln’s clothes to resemble camouflage. It was difficult to keep a straight face when I collected his paper.

       A Valentine’s Day memory; On the first Valentine’s Day after September 11, Bruce’s firehouse, Squad 41, sent me one dozen red roses. They actually send them to all 6 widows from their firehouse. It was an amazing gesture. I cried and also chuckled. You see those are the only roses I ever received on a Valentine’s Day. I always told Bruce “don’t buy me roses on Valentine’s Day.They are too expensive and we can’t afford it. Buy me flowers any day but Valentine’s Day.” And he did buy me flowers on other days and I am grateful 🙂

      Posted in daily life, memories, September 11, then & now | 0 Comments | Tagged little things, September 11
    • Perspective

      Posted at 10:15 am by missannsays, on February 11, 2013

      After a week spent caring for my three grand nieces, I am heading home. My original flight was early (7:55am). Of course in today’s world that means being at the airport 1 1/2 hours before departure. So that makes a 6:30 am arrival time. Then add to that travel time to airport which from my nephew’s home to the airport is 1 1/4 hours and then add snow and you see where this is going. I had to get up early, really early. And true to form I woke up before I needed to because I am always nervous about not hearing the alarm. Of course in this case even if I had overslept, someone was there to wake me up. Anyway I woke up at 3:30am and checked my flight to find it cancelled. There was a moment of panic because what do you do when they cancel your flight? Wait!! Check your reservation. Oh good they rescheduled me at 11:15am. Okay that will work. Send emails and text to daughters, sister and friend to inform them of change and go back to bed. Well, not exactly. My nephew has National Guard duty so my ride to the airport is either now or the shuttle.

      All that said to say I am at the airport very early. The good news is months ago when United and Continental Airlines merged I received a one time pass for the United Club. Yes!! So I am sitting in the United Club with free internet, an outlet to charge my phone and computer, and free food. The United Club has all these windows so you can watch the planes arrive and depart. For the last 45 minutes I have watched a plane get “de iced”. I have checked my email and Facebook and glanced up and watched the plane continue to be de iced. It is interesting to watch the green trunk with a telescopic arm pull along side of the plane and sprays this “cloud” over the plane’s wings and body. The chemicals leave an orange residue and the plane looks the way your fingers look after you have eaten cheese doodles. That makes me smile. Of course the people in the plane are probably not smiling. They are so close yet so far from their destination. Their gate is right here but they can’t get to it. It is easy for me to smile about the “cheese doodle” plane because I am not on that plane. Ah! As I sit in my comfy chair with my internet connection and coffee it is easy to smile. I hope as the day goes on and I am on the plane and we aren’t moving I can remember cheese doodles. I guess the lesson of the day is attitude and perspective. Oh my!!!

      Posted in daily life | 0 Comments | Tagged little things
    • Come Fly with Me

      Posted at 6:14 pm by missannsays, on January 31, 2013

      I am not sure which is stranger the fact I am sitting in Newark Airport and it is so quiet or I am sitting in Newark airport writing a blog on my laptop. Today I am flying to Minnesota to visit my nephew and his family. I enjoy traveling. I try to be a “good traveler” – packing efficiently,travel documents in order, easy on and off shoes, etc. I am awed my air travel and sometimes underwhelmed by airport security.

      The idea that an airplane can fly is amazing. Really think about it this metal bird looking transport vehicle rises in the air and moves us from place to place. It is awe-inspiring. Years ago it was a more comfortable journey. Remember when they gave you newspapers and magazines, pillows, blankets and food for free. Remember when children got those little pilot wings and got to visit the cockpit. I remember my girls visiting the cockpit as we flew home from England. They were thrilled. When we flew to Paris courtesy of the French Fire Department, another FDNY family was sitting in front of us and my daughters started a conversation with the 3-year-old. This adorable little girl asked my daughters “where are you going?” My daughters stated “France”. “Me, too!” too funny 

      Another funny flight moment was when we were flying to St Thomas Virgin Island and we realized the people next to us had a dog in their carry-on bag. The funny or terrifying part was as we are preparing for landing the flight attendant finally sees the dog and mentions “I didn’t know we had a dog on board.” Really, you can get a dog on a plane and no one knows. 

      Airport security is a necessary evil that on occasion that has tried my soul. I am ever amazed at whom the randomly searched people are. For some reason whoever I am traveling with or me is that random person. My 93-year-old mother in law was the ultimate – are you kidding me!?! They made her get out of the airport wheelchair. I came very close to saying “Wow! If you had been this thorough on September 11, her son would be alive.” But I held my tongue.

      My Dad used to say that pilots say “That flight is 5 minutes of terror, followed by hours of boredom and then another 5 minutes of terror.” As the plane is taxing for takeoff, I pray “Lord, either totally safe or face to face with you. Thank you. Amen” I either want the flight to go as planned or just go totally bad because this floating around in the ocean or stranded on some mountain isn’t my thing. Well, it is almost time to board. I know there will be no magazines, too many bags in the overhead, no free food but it is still amazing that a plane takes flight and gets you where you want to be.

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged little things
    • How old are you?

      Posted at 5:42 pm by missannsays, on January 20, 2013

      On Facebook this morning there was a list of “friends” who have birthdays today. I scrolled down the list and wished a few Happy Birthday. I chuckled when I saw how old Facebook says one of those people is because that is not possible. Anyway how old you are seems to have become the theme of the day. While teaching Kids First Church today, I asked if the anyone knew what the word generation meant. One young man explained a generation is the years between a father and son. Correct a generation is usually considered to be about 30 years. And then I added to further explain the concept that between one of our youngest Kids First Church and me  there were actually two generations because her parents were just a little older than my daughters. “Wow!” explained that same young man and then he added “how old are you?”. To which another young man said “Don’t answer that”. “No, that is okay” and I proceeded to tell them how old I am. There was discussion about if I was really that old to which I said Yes, I don’t lie to you. Anyway we eventually continued with the lesson and as the parents were signing the children out I was suddenly aware of the fact that the discussion on the ride home would probably be about “how old Miss Ann is”. Oh well!!

      Two random thoughts:

      1. The Bible mentions people who lived to be 600 years old. I have often wondered at what age were you a grown up?
      2. Have you noticed that when children tell you their age they mention how many years and a 1/4 or 1/2 or 3/4? At what age do we stop doing that?
      Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged kid stuff, little things
    • Tricky Days

      Posted at 7:13 pm by missannsays, on January 18, 2013

      Tricky days that is what my daughters and I call days that should be celebrated – holidays, birthdays, anniversaries but now there is an empty chair or no need to buy a Father’s Day or Birthday card. Today is a tricky day for my uncle and cousins. Today would have been my Auntie Jean’s birthday but she passed away in August.  I sent my uncle and cousins cards this week to acknowledge that I remember that today is Auntie Jean’s birthday. I wrote in the cards that I am thinking and praying for them because I am.

      We all have tricky days. Days that had at one point been for celebrating and for now are for grieving but eventually will be for remembering. Tricky days aren’t just tricky for the person that experienced the loss, they are tricky for their family and friends as well. Sometimes we think we need to say that “amazingly poignant thing” but maybe “I remember” or “I know” is enough. The people in Newtown, CT have many tricky days ahead of them.

      As I was pondering tricky days, I was reminded of when I had the opportunity to share my September 11 story with the “Faces of Hope”. The Faces of Hope were children who were born on September 11, 2001 – one (or twins) to represent each state. A book had been published with their photos in 2002. I met some of those children in early September 2011 right before their 10th birthday. (Actually part of my visit with them was on the Today Show. How weird was that!) I reminded them to not let the attacks of September 11 define them, to remember that they were a wonderful thing that happened on a bad day. I told them I was so glad to meet them because they were truly faces of hope. On sad side note, the little girl that was killed when Gabby Gifford was shot was actually one of the children that was featured in the Faces of Hope book. 😦

      I mention this idea of tricky days for a few of reasons. First we don’t always know if today is a tricky day for someone so let’s listen to each other. Second we can’t expect someone to know it is a tricky day for us unless we tell them so let’s talk to each other. Thirdly let’s just cut each other some slack because until I have walked in your shoes, I can’t know what you are going through but I can choose to walk beside you instead of over you.

      Posted in daily life, memories, respect in the real world, September 11, Uncategorized | 5 Comments | Tagged friendship, little things, respect, September 11
    • a dose of kid

      Posted at 4:29 pm by missannsays, on January 13, 2013

      004 A few weeks ago a friend sent me the card that is pictured above. The inside says “Sound familiar?”  I have heard my share of amazing kid questions, comments and ideas through the years.  And I have to admit that kids make me laugh. There are many times when I have to stop myself from laughing out loud. It is amazing how their brains work and the things they say. This was a week with more than my average “dose of kids”.  When I was teaching dance and/or a Kindergarten aide my weekly dose of kid was daily but since I am retired from those activities my weekly dose of kid is not so daily. This week on Tuesday and Thursday I spoke to four groups of middle schoolers at the  Tribute Center. Wednesday I had my weekly afterschool program at church and today I had Kids First Church. And this week was not without  a few KQOTD – kid quote/question of the day.

      The KQOTD for Wednesday actually wasn’t quoted on Wednesday but the conversation with one of the boys at church reminded me of something my younger daughter said years ago. One of the boys at church asked me “why are some of the words in your Bible in red?”. I explained to him that it is called a Red Letter Bible meaning the words that were spoken by Jesus are written in red. I was instantly reminded of when M was in first grade and asked if for Christmas she could have a Bible that showed Jesus’ words. Bruce and I figured out that she wanted a Red Letter Bible and gladly purchased it as one of her Christmas gifts. On Christmas morning, M unwrapped her Red Letter Bible and as she looked through it she promptly exclamation “Wow, Jesus didn’t have anything to say in the Old Testament?” Still makes me smile 🙂

      On Thursday a group of  public school middle schoolers were very excited to share with me all they knew about September 11. Their teachers had obviously done a great job of preparing them for their trip to the Tribute Center and the September 11 Memorial. Many a little hand went up when I asked “what do you know about September 11, 2001?” We had an interesting time discussing the events of the day, I shared the timeline (in kid terms) and I shared my story. Then I asked “does anyone have any other questions or comments?” Many hands went up and I picked a little girl who proceeded to mention something she saw on YouTube. We discussed that. I called on another child who proceeds to tell them something they saw on YouTube. And you guessed it, the third child proceeds to tell me something they saw on YouTube which lead to a whole discussion about YouTube and the internet. It reminded me of the television commercial with the “this is my date, I met on the internet, he is a French model.” To be honest I am so glad my daughters are grown because navigating this whole instant information thing is going to be much harder for today’s parents  than just deciding when you get your first cell phone.

      Today in Kids First Church one of my little friends just couldn’t control himself and after reaching “3 strikes, your out” I walked him upstairs to his mom. Don’t worry the kids were supervised by my teen helper while I was walking my little friend upstairs. Our Kids First Church time together continues with a reminder of “crossing the line” and Miss Ann doesn’t threaten, she promises and if you cross the line you will go to your parents.  As we are finishing up the lesson one of the girls suddenly realizes that said young man is gone and says “where is _____?”. And without missing a beat, one of the boys with a straight face states “He crossed the line!” My teen helper and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.

      My two favorite kid questions of all time are: “Were there fish on the ark?” and “If God loved us so much, why did He send his Son instead of coming Himself?” Those are good ones aren’t they.

      “He took a little child and had him stand among them. Taking him in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”

      Posted in daily life, kid stuff | 0 Comments | Tagged kid stuff, little things, telling the next generation
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