Miss Ann Says

Tag: telling the next generation

• A day of remembrance

  Posted at 6:53 pm by missannsays, on September 11, 2012

  •  Each September 11  Lake’s Fire department sounds it’s siren at the time of each event that occurred on this day 11 years ago. The sound of those sirens takes my breath away. I so appreciate that they do as their act of remembrance.

  8:46 – Flight 11 crashes into #1 WTC

  9:03 – United Flight 175 crashes into #2 WTC

  9:37 – American Flight 77 crashes into Pentagon

  9:59 – #2 WTC collapses in 10 seconds

  10:03 – United Flight 93 crashes in Shanksville, PA

  10:28 – #1 WTC collapses in 10 seconds

  • Bruce’s godchild will go scuba diving in Vanuatu as her act of remembrance.
  • My 9-year-old niece will wear a Squad 41 sweatshirt to school. Her act of remembrance for an uncle she never met.
  • A friend and colleague will call me from Boise, ID as he does every year. It is his act of remembrance.
  •  Small towns and cities across our nation will have a moment of remembrance.
  • Firehouses and corporations all over NYC will have services to honor their own. Their acts of remembrance.
  • People will look towards the sky this evening to see the beautiful tribute in lights. Another act of remembrance.
  • “The names” are read at the National September 11 Memorial, the Pentagon and Shanksville, PA. A fellow docent at the Tribute Center, a survivor of the #1 WTC says (my paraphrase) “the names should be read because the terrorist were set on killing nameless people but those who died weren’t nameless.” Many family members will attend the ceremony at the National September 11 Memorial. It is their act of remembrance.

   

  I have never attended the ceremony at the “site”. I have been invited each year. It is the one day of the year that I can’t go there. I don’t think I can handle the grief of all the 2,749 families and friends. At the first anniversary, my youngest daughter and I would travel to the Boston area to be with my older girl who had just started college. We would go to the Quincy Bay and pray and tell stories of Daddy. We would write a few thoughts in our “Things we would have told you” book. For the first few years after the attacks we would write in that book.  We would write things like “you would have thrown your body across the door when you saw how beautiful E, looked going to the prom” or ” M has a boyfriend.” That notebook is now set aside and that is okay. It will be fun to read it to my grandchildren some day. Especially when my daughters are telling their kids “you can’t date until you are 30”. The truth will be told about when they were young. 🙂

  During a recent to my mother in-law’s, we had a conversation about the framed purple heart certificate on her wall. She was telling the story of her brother. She told my daughter, E, and I how her sister had the certificate and the medal and after her sister’s death my mother-in-law got the certificate. She mentioned that she was concerned what will happen to the certificate after she dies. And my daughter said “Grandma you don’t have to worry. I will make sure no one throws it out.”  And that ended the conversation. My mother-in-law just wanted to make sure that her brother is remembered. And isn’t that what we all want to know that those we love will not be forgotten.

  Posted in memories, September 11 | 3 Comments | Tagged little things, September 11, telling the next generation

• Sept 11, 2012

  Posted at 7:00 am by missannsays, on September 11, 2012

  The death certificate said “homicide”.  The FDNY said LODD – line of duty death.  Our Heavenly Father said “Well done, Bruce – welcome home.”

  Praying for the families that lost loved ones. Praying for health of body and mind for the first responders that carry on. Praying for the survivors of the WTC & Pentagon who saw things no human being should ever see. Praying for our military and their families.

  Thanking my friends and family for their love & support.

  “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
  Posted in faith, respect in the real world, September 11 | 3 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, September 11, telling the next generation

• R. Bruce Van Hine

  Posted at 7:00 am by missannsays, on September 10, 2012

  He would enter this world on July 25, 1953. He was given the name Richard Bruce Van Hine but he was called Bruce. He was the second child in the family, the only son. His mom celebrates her 94 birthday the end of this week. His dad died 21 years ago this November. His older sister lives in the mid west with her husband. Her grown children are married and have children and live in Colorado, Chicago and Minnesota. He had many aunts and uncles and lots of cousins. When he was young, he didn’t like school and his parents were told by his teachers that he was lazy. Upon graduation from high school, he would work as a lineman for the telephone company.  And when he received a high draft number, he would enlist in the Navy.  In the spring of 1975, he would be honorably discharged from the Navy and use all the money he had saved to buy a Porsche 914.  And he would appear on my doorstep in September of 1975.

  He was the friend of a friend. After our first date, I would tell that friend of a friend that Bruce was a “creep”.  Through the years the joke would become that he was a still “a creep” but  he was “my creep”.  We would be married on June 14, 1980. He would start his own tree business and eventually pursue his dream of being a real firefighter, a New York City firefighter. He would register to take the FDNY test one month before he would have been too old to qualify. He would take the written test, the physical test, go through the psychological testing and be given a place on the list. And then that list would be in the courts for 8 years and his dream would be on hold. One funny anecdote from the psychological testing. The psychologist would ask Bruce if he had any siblings. Bruce would respond “yes”. “where is your sister?” “in Leavenworth” The doctor would pause and then say “is she incarcerated there?” “No she lives there with her family”. That was Bruce always the wise guy. When Bruce told me the story I couldn’t believe he had said that. He thought it was amusing. He would eventually be hired as a New York City firefighter. He would also work at his tree jobs. And play a major role in raising our daughters.

  Bruce loved to be outdoors. He enjoyed scuba diving, hunting and  hiking. He tried his hand at skiing but that wasn’t really his thing. He wasn’t a big reader but he did enjoy Bill Bryson book “A Walk in the Woods” about two non hikers through hiking the Appalachian Trail.  That was another dream of his to through hike the Appalachian Trail.  He enjoyed family vacations and we took some great, inexpensive vacations. Mostly camping trips – tent camping, then we graduated to a pop up and eventually we got a trailer.

  He had no problem with being Mr Clark at my dance studio. I added Van Hine to my maiden name when we married. But I was Ann Clark at my studio. I actually was never Mrs Van Hine until after Bruce died. Kind of weird when you think about it. At one point in our marriage, I was the Sunday School Superintendent at our local church as well as the District Children’s Ministries Director for  Metro New York . One day for some bizarre reason I said to Bruce “you know you really should get a ministry” And without missing a beat he said to me “I have a ministry”. “You do. What?” “You are my ministry” and with that he walked calming out of the room. And I realized that I was able to do all the things I was doing because Bruce was giving me his unbridled support, encouragement and love.

  On February 26, 1993, Bruce was working on something in the basement. I would turn the television on to watch noontime news and hear that there had been an explosion at the World Trade Center. I would yell that information down the stairs to Bruce. He would come bounding up the stairs, listen to the report on the television and in true firefighter fashion say “I can’t believe I missed the big one.”

  In August of 2001, Bruce would escort his mother to her granddaughter, his niece’s wedding in Chicago. At that wedding he would see his sister, his one niece and her groom, his two nephews and their future spouses. At the end of August, he would spend the night on the AP trail. And during that weekend he would finish the Connecticut piece of the trail leaving a Bible in a plastic bag in the trail shelter. By doing day hikes through the years, he completed the NJ, NY, PA and CT sections of the trail.

  And on September 11, 2001,  Squad 41 would be sent to Manhattan to relocate at Squad 18 but on the way there the second plane would hit the WTC and they would go directly to the WTC site. They would enter #2 WTC and get pretty high up into the tower when they would come across injured civilians. They would start to bring those civilians down as the building collapsed. That scenario wouldn’t be known until many months after the attacks. The FDNY knew Squad 41 had been dispatched but they didn’t know which tower they had gone in, etc..   At some point during that first week after September 11, I had a dream. In my dream Bruce was in the towers and he realized the building was collapsing and he tried even harder to get people to “move” and then he whispered that he loved his girls (that is what he called me and our two daughters) and he was face to face with God. He would enter eternity on September 11, 2001.

  People have said that R. Bruce Van Hine was a hero. He wouldn’t like that word. He would say he was just doing his job, a job that he loved.  He got to be the real firefighter that he always wanted to be. He is missed but his legacy of faith, family, friends and living your calling will be told to the next generation.

  Posted in faith, memories, September 11 | 25 Comments | Tagged respect, September 11, telling the next generation

• a silver bracelet, a buffet and bread

  Posted at 6:23 pm by missannsays, on August 16, 2012

  My aunt died this past weekend. She had taken a terrible fall last November and after months in the hospital and rehab she had gone home. She was doing quite well when other health issues would get the best of her. She fought the good fight but her body could only take so much. My heart is broken for my uncle, cousins and their families. She will be missed. My aunt and uncle and I shared something very special. We had the same wedding day – June 14. I was actually the flower girl in my aunt and uncle’s wedding. To be honest, I don’t remember that event because I was only 4 years old. I have however seen many a photo and for many years I had a small silver  bracelet that my aunt and uncle had given me on June 14, 1958.  I have fond memories of looking at it in my mom’s jewelry box and her saying “that is yours”. When Bruce and I were planning our wedding we picked June 14 as our date. Mainly because his mom had always joked that she would put the “flag out” when he got married. Thus June 14 being Flag Day seemed perfect.  So on June 14, 1980 Bruce and I were married and that silver  bracelet given me by my aunt and uncle was passed along to my flower girl, Bruce’s niece.

   

  On another note, the “Ho Chi Minh” has a new home. (See 5/26 blog) This past Friday my daughter and I met at my parent’s house and loaded the “Ho Chi Minh” into her car for the journey to PA. Last evening she sent me a photo of the buffet fondly called the Ho Chi Minh proudly displayed in her dining area. It seems perfect that it has been passed along to the next generation.

   

  Lately I have been pondering this whole concept of remembering.  The thought that keeps coming to mind is communion “do this in remembrance of me”. A simple cup of wine and a piece of bread. Such ordinary every day items used to remember the greatest sacrifice ever made. And maybe that is the point it is in the every day that we remember.

  Posted in daily life, faith, memories, relationships | 0 Comments | Tagged little things, telling the next generation

• Epic fail or was it???

  Posted at 3:47 pm by missannsays, on July 16, 2012

  I taught Sunday School yesterday and near the end of the class one of the 4th grade boys commented “is this story about the same  Abraham who helped settle things with the black and white people?” At first I wasn’t sure what he meant and then I realized he was talking about Abraham Lincoln. What?? Really I just taught this lesson on Abraham and Lot. I made sure we found the “story” in the Bible – “Genesis  chapter 13- big number 13, verses 1- 18 –  little numbers 1-18” I commented that I was reading it in story form but the same story is in the Bible. After the class was over, I thought the whole class was an epic fail. I mean I read the story, we acted it out, we did this fun through the soda can game, we threw marshmallows and we had lively discussion about each part of the lesson. A fun time was had by all but he thinks the story is about Abraham Lincoln. The more I tried to figure out where I went wrong, I realized something. He got the lesson. According to the curriculum, the lesson aim is “to help kids learn that God wants us to be peacemakers”. I also had another thought I have no idea what the kids are learning. My responsibility is to be prepared, to faithfully present the lesson to the best of my ability, to love my students and enjoy our time together.  So as a word of encouragement to parents and teachers, don’t give up because they may miss the facts but they may be learning the lesson.

  Posted in faith, kid stuff | 2 Comments | Tagged kid stuff, telling the next generation

• tidbits of wisdom I learned from my dad

  Posted at 4:09 pm by missannsays, on May 5, 2012

  I just walked outside barefoot and as I stepped outside I heard my dad’s voice say “put shoes on”. I didn’t hear his voice audibly but I heard it in my mind. My dad had a stroke 5 1/2 years ago and hasn’t spoken since but many things he used to say are imprinted on my mind. And on occasion some of those “tidbits” of wisdom have even been spoken by me.

  • “put your seat belt on” – I have always worn a seatbelt. I have a vivid memory of my dad installing seatbelts in our station wagon. I was well into my teens before I knew everyone hadn’t grown up wearing seatbelts.
  • “don’t believe everything you read in the paper, hear on the radio or see on the television news” – I was raised to investigate what the media says – a good idea.
  • I don’t know if he actually ever said it but I heard loud and clear “Think”
  • “you need to know the history” – This used to make me and then my kids crazy. If you asked my dad about whatever, he would start with the Greeks or Romans or even earlier and work his way forward. My youngest daughter would say “Poppy, I want the reader’s digest version.”
  • “don’t stoop to their level”
  • “write down who you spoke to, what they said and note the date and time.” This has proven to be invaluable advise.
  • “so what do you want to do?” My dad said that to me in Sept of 1975 when I lost my job teaching dance. And then he set with me at the dining room table and came up with a plan. That plan was the New School of Dance Arts.
  • “don’t drive behind big trucks – you can get sucked under” My sister, sister in law and I drove cross country in a Pinto in August of 1981.  My dad made us put a crowbar under the seat to “pry ourselves” out of the car. My sister was moving to California and we drove her car and my sister in law and I flew back – one week trip. oh my!!!
  • “a government’s first responsibility is to protect it’s citizens”
  • “Kids need to learn geography” – thus why I own a globe and an atlas.
  • “good show” – my dad came to every one of my recitals.
  • “Promise me you won’t make any major changes in your life for one year”  He said that to me after Sept 11, 2001.

  I remember getting in big trouble with my dad only once and that was enough. I was 12 years old and being a “smart ass” to my pregnant mom – not a good idea. I remember seeing my dad cry only once. That was Easter 2002 and I told him the FDNY had found Bruce’s body. I miss my daddy. I see him when I visit him at the nursing home but that’s not really him because what you did with my dad was talk. We would sit at the dining room table and talk. So now I carry on a monologue about what I am doing, what the girls are doing, etc… And before I leave I kiss him on the forehead and say “remember Daddy I love you and God loves you.”

  Posted in memories | 1 Comment | Tagged little things, respect, telling the next generation

• #1 WTC

  Posted at 5:47 pm by missannsays, on May 1, 2012

  Yesterday the new One World Trade Center became the tallest building in New York City.  It is now taller than the Empire State building.  When completed it will be the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere.  I never thought I would be excited about a building but I am.  Over the last 6 years I have traveled into Lower Manhattan a few days each month so I have had the opportunity to see this building “grow”.  I am aware of the sorrow that site holds, the struggles that have surrounded the redevelopment and  the symbolism of the building and to see 1 WTC as the tallest building in NY is amazing. I was thrilled the first time I spotted it from the George Washington Bridge.  I have spotted it from Skyline Drive in Ringwood and the top of the hill in Ramsey.  And every time I see it I am ecstatic. To me it is a symbol that life goes on, things change and a new normal is established and that is hard and bittersweet but worth celebrating. The New York skyline will never look like it did when the Twin Towers graced the skyline but now there is a new skyline – a new normal.

  Some interesting facts from the Tribute Center Volunteer Resource Guide –

  • “One World Trade changes shape as it rises as a way to pay homage to the original WTC building. The building keeps the sides flat and tapers the corners in. On the ground floor, it’s a square…at the middle you get an octagon. While seen from the north and south, the silhouette of  1 WTC will resemble the original WTC tower, when seen on a diagonal, it will resemble the Washington Monument, capturing the meaning of the site: remembrance, hope and moving forward.”
  • “With spire, One World Trade will rise to 1,776 feet, the year of US independence.”
  • Completion is slated for the end of 2013
  • First floor of office space is actually the 20th floor. The building is built on a 200 foot by 200 foot bomb proof cube. Building includes some of the largest and most transparent pieces of curtain glass ever used on a building. “It was intentional to respond with the creation of an openly transparent, democratic building.”

  Posted in September 11 | 0 Comments | Tagged September 11, telling the next generation

• Just look at me

  Posted at 11:13 am by missannsays, on April 25, 2012

  “Just look at me” or “Just watch me” are two phrases I have said many times while teaching little girls ballet.  That was my career path for 35 years – I taught little girls ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical and even a little gymnastics. It was great fun and very rewarding but there were times that it could be frustrating. One of things that I taught my dancers to do was how to turn without getting dizzy. Little kids don’t mind getting dizzy but if you want to be able to perform a combination or routine you can’t be dizzy after your turns. The technique is called “spotting” or “snapping your head”.  The technique involves focusing your eyes on one spot and then turning your head quickly so all your eyes see is that one focal point. It takes concentration and practice.

  The annual recital is the main event of the year.  It is the icing on the cake. It is one performance that involves the months of training and weeks of rehearsal to learn a “dance”.  As I used to tell my high schoolers or “big kids” as they are known, the littlest ballerinas or babies can just walk on stage in their pink tutus and the audience loves them.  You however as “the big kids” have to really know what you are doing. The hardest group to get to understand this is the early elementary age – the 6 & 7 years old.

  A few years ago I had a class of beginner ballet students that really knew their dance. They were a great fun group of kids. There are classes that you think “oh, my. I am so glad their costume is cute and the music is good because they have no clue.” That wasn’t this group. They knew what they were doing. Well, they knew what they were doing until dress rehearsal and then they fell apart. They couldn’t get it to together at all.  I mean at all.  They were so distracted that I finally had to close the curtain and let them do the dance with no one watching.  I kept pointing to my chest and saying “Just look at me. If you just look at me, you will be fine”  It was so frustrating.  The next day while I was driving to the recital I thought about the whole bizarre incident and why it was so hard for them to do the easiest thing of looking at me.  The Lord reminded me that He tells me that all the time “just look at me”.

  Today my very personal God reminded me again. My devotional reading from Jesus Calling states: “MAKE ME YOUR LOCAL FOCAL POINT as you move through this day. Just as a spinning ballerina must keep returning her eyes to a given point to maintain her balance, so you must keep returning your focus to Me.  Circumstances are in flux, and the world seems to be whirling around you. The only way to keep your balance is to fix your eyes on Me, the One who never changes. If you gaze too long at your circumstances, you will become dizzy and confused.  Look at Me, refreshing yourself in My Presence, and your steps will be steady and sure.”

  Just what I needed to hear today and in a way that spoke to me. I am grateful for the reminder.

  Posted in faith, kid stuff | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, little things, telling the next generation

• K.I.D.S. club

  Posted at 2:54 pm by missannsays, on April 7, 2012

  “So the next generation would know, and all the generations to come -Know the truth and tell the stories so their children can trust in God.” I have the privilege and awesome responsibility of teaching K.I.D.S. Club on Wednesday evenings at Warwick Valley Church of the Nazarene. K=kids, I=investigating, D=discovering, S = Scripture, Club = fun & friends.  K.I.D.S. Club is also known as Bible Quizzing. I have included a brief explanation of Bible Quizzing but I really want to share is some “kid answers”. First the explanation, the Bible Quizzing program for the Church of the Nazarene is a 6 year curriculum for first through sixth graders. Year 1 is Genesis, year 2 is Exodus, year 3 is Joshua, Judges &Ruth, year 4 is I & II Samuel,  year 5 is Matthew, year 6 is Acts. The program is Bible study and then quizzing – multiple choice questions with quiz boxes.  The children are competing against a level (bronze, silver, gold) not against each other. Every child receives a ribbon and treat bag. At WVCN we meet once a week for our Bible study and then 3 times in the year we meet with other churches to quiz.”Hiding God’s word in your heart” is the emphasis.  Since last September we have been studying the book of Matthew.

  This past week I decided it was important to review the events of Holy Week since it is Holy Week. Our review didn’t make it through Holy Week. I read the scripture in Matthew 21 about Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem.  We discussed the donkey and what is a colt and how kings ride into cities. Then I asked “why do you think the people laid the branches on the ground for the donkey to walk on?” Eager hands go up, waving back and forth. I picked a child to answer and he says “because it was Palm Sunday”.  I make eye contact with my friend and fellow teacher and we smile. Another one of those great kid answers that you need to take and steer in the right direction towards the correct answer.  I spend a lot of time on Wednesday nights steering answers towards the correct answer. I spend a lot of time answering questions that have a very loose connection to the subject manner.

  Sometimes I don’t think we cover a 1/4 of the lesson but it isn’t really about a specific lesson. It is about life lessons.  It is teaching my “students” that God loves them unconditionally – there is nothing they can do to make Him love them more or less. This was week it was naming each one of them individually and saying Jesus died for you. It is teaching that not everything can be explained and that God is big enough for their questions. Teaching that God can be trusted, that He is good and teaching that if you could understand everything about God He won’t be God. It is teaching them that they will have to decide who they will follow as their example of the way to live.

  Recently when we were “studying” the events in Matthew 14 (John’s beheading), I said “what can you tell me about John?”. Many eager hands  and smiling faces – “he was Jesus’ cousin”, “he wore camel-hair clothes” “he ate weird stuff” and “he was a Baptist”.  Good answer but he wasn’t a Baptist, he was the Baptist.  That kid answer makes me laugh and what I wanted to say but didn’t was ” Right, John was a Baptist and Jesus is a Nazarene” 🙂

  Dr Wes Stafford in his book Too Small to Ignore- Why Children are the Next Big Thing tells the following story. “Late one evening D.L. Moody, the premier American evangelist of the 1800s, arrived home from speaking at a meeting.  Emma, his wife, was already asleep.  As her exhausted husband climbed into bed, she rolled over and murmured, “So how did it go tonight?”  “Pretty well,” he replied. “Two and a half converts.” His wife lay silently for a moment pondering this response, then finally smiled. “That’s sweet,” she replied. “How old was the child?” “No, no, no,” Moody answered. “It was two children and one adult! The children have their whole lives in front of them. The adult’s life is already half-gone.”

  Posted in faith, kid stuff | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, telling the next generation

• an unexpected blessing

  Posted at 12:18 am by missannsays, on March 4, 2012

  When I opened that large manila envelope six and half years ago and read about an opportunity to volunteer with the September 11 Family Association as a docent, I had no idea what a blessing lay before me. I had no idea that six  years later I would have completed 250 public tours for the Tribute Center, numerous tours for family and friends and that Tribute Center tour would now be the official walking tour of the National September 11 Memorial. To be honest I had to look the word docent up in the dictionary.  Then I thought I am not even a member of the September 11 Family Association. I hadn’t joined any groups in the months and years after September 11.  I remember calling and saying I was interested in finding out more about these walking tours at the “site”.  I traveled into NYC for the first interview with Rachel and I was so nervous.  I knew nothing about lower Manhattan.  I knew nothing about the World Trade Center.  I had only been there twice in my whole life.  I barely knew the facts of September 11.   The “stomping ” ground of my youth  had always been from the Port Authority to Columbus Circle for auditions and dance classes. Or Greenwich Village for acting lessons.  But all of that was a lifetime ago. In recent years my trips into NYC had been to take my girls to the Rockefeller Center tree lighting or a Broadway show or the Bronx Zoo. This traveling into lower Manhattan was new and scary.   What was I thinking?

  Actually I know exactly what I was thinking.  The Tribute Center’s mission was “person to person” history and I knew I could do that.  I could tell my story/ Bruce’s story.  I had already told “our” story many times but that was in churches or at ladies groups. This was a whole new thing but I knew I had to try.  So I went to the training. I felt like I was going to throw up the whole time I was driving there.  I was sure I was in way over my head.  When I walked into the training Bruce’s captain was there.  Wow!! Thank you, Lord.  A nod from God. The training was going along nicely and then it was mentioned that you shouldn’t get political. Well, that was fine I am not political. And then a fellow trainee commented “you shouldn’t get too religious either”. Oh no, now I am going to have to say something.  I cautiously raised my hand and said that if we weren’t allowed to mention God I would respect that but if they wanted me to tell my story I had to mention God because God was my story. And I was told that if God was part of my story I could mention God.  Wow!!  A big nod from God.

  And now six and half years later, I tell my story. I say “That there are two things have gotten me through the last 10 years.  The first thing is my faith. God has gotten me through. And the second is the fact that my husband was a New York City firefighter. It was his job to go into those buildings. A job that he loved.”  I also say “That when I started doing tours, I only had my story and that was enough but now I know the story of my fellow docents –  other family members, survivors, fire responders, and rescue workers, who saw things no one should ever see. Downtown residents who couldn’t go home for weeks and even months. I believe the story of September 11 is a mosaic. That the stories are like little pieces of glass that lay next to each other to make the picture of what happened on September 11, 2001 –  hundreds of thousands of stories that come together to tell the story.”

  Being a docent has been an unexpected blessing for me and I love giving tours and I am awed by my fellow docents and everyone at Tribute – what an amazing group of people.  So on Monday I will talk to two school groups, lead the 1pm tour and then support 3 pm tour or to quote one of my fellow docents ” I will get my volunteer on”.  By the way, if you are ever in Manhattan stop by the Tribute Center,120 Liberty St and you may get unexpected blessing, too.

  Posted in memories, relationships, September 11 | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, September 11, telling the next generation

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