Miss Ann Says

thoughts from everyday life
Miss Ann Says
  • About Me & Media Bio:
  • Speaker/Writer
  • Category: faith

    • “Happy” Mother’s Day

      Posted at 12:56 pm by missannsays, on May 10, 2013

      This past week the “ads” for Mother’s Day have been relentless. Every time I heard or saw an ad for teddy bears, flowers and jewelry, I thought of the women who this Mother’s Day will be hard. I thought of my cousins who are experiencing the first Mother’s Day without their mom. I thought of my friends who have lost their mothers this past year. I thought of the mommies of the children killed in Newtown and Boston. I thought of the moms of those who have died while serving our country. I thought of the young women trying to have children and it isn’t “happening.” I thought of the moms of children with serious illnesses. I thought of the children with moms with serious illnesses. And then I said a prayer. A prayer that they would find peace. A prayer that they could remember the hugs and love without too much pain. A prayer that they would know that there is a Heavenly Father that loves them, their children and their moms.

      Yesterday I had a lovely day out with friends. We are women who became friends because of our September 11 connection. One of my friends lost her only child on September 11. Another lost her youngest son on September 11. Still another lost her mom very recently. I was struck by it isn’t as simple as “making it through the first Mother’s Day since…” Mother’s Day will always be hard. So I pray that the good memories will outweigh the bad. That the loss will not overwhelm them. That there is someone around them to give a hug, a smile or an ear to listen. I pray that I can be that person to those I know.

      I am blessed and stressed that both my mum and mother-in-law are still alive. It is a challenge walking through these days but I wouldn’t trade it. Happy Mother’s Day to Mum Clark and Mom Van Hine. I love you 🙂

      Since I have aways worked with children, my daughters were accustom to “sharing me” whether it was at the studio, church or summer camp. There were times it was difficult for them to wait for me to be just their mom. They would even say “Miss Ann” when I didn’t respond to “MOM”. I would tell my girls that there are many children who call me “Miss Ann” but there are only two children in the whole world who call me “Mom”. I am very blessed.

      Posted in daily life, faith, memories, relationships | 4 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, friendship, kid stuff, little things, prayer, September 11
    • in the meantime…

      Posted at 5:39 pm by missannsays, on April 25, 2013

      I completed a “light, little” blog post about a half hour ago and scheduled it to be published in an hour. In the meantime, I went on Face Book and saw that a friend had posted that her son-in-law was killed yesterday while serving in Afghanistan. So I pause and say a prayer for her daughter and children. My heart breaks. I say a prayer for my friend and her family. I grief that I never met this young man. I say a prayer for his family. I weep. I marvel that this young man is about the same age as my son-in-laws. I thank the Lord for my girls and their guys. I remember the wonderful times spent together with my friend and her family many years ago. I am grateful. I remember that this friend and her husband drove from SC to Bruce’s memorial service. I am humbled. I ponder all the sadness and sorrow of this world. And I say aloud “I know whom I have believed in and I am pursued that He is able to keep that I have entrusted unto Him against that day.”

      Posted in daily life, faith, memories, relationships, respect in the real world | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, little things, respect
    • Thy Kingdom Come

      Posted at 3:28 pm by missannsays, on April 14, 2013

      Today the local church (WVCN) I call home “visited” another church. We had our service with Union A.M.E. Church. It was a wonderful time of worship. I truly believe God glanced down and said “Hey! everybody gather around and look at Warwick, NY, the kids are praising me as I always intended.”  Thank you Pastor Bruce and Pastor Kevin for an amazing morning. May it be the beginning of kingdom life in Warwick.

      Our Father who art in heaven;
      Hallowed be Thy Name;
      Thy kingdom come;
      Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven;
      Give us this day our daily bread;
      And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us;
      And lead us not into temptation;
      But deliver us from evil;
      For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever.

      Amen.

      Posted in daily life, faith | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, prayer, telling the next generation
    • a good (Fri)day

      Posted at 4:26 pm by missannsays, on March 29, 2013

      026
      I saw the flashing lights in my rearview mirror, glanced down at my speedometer and knew those lights were meant for me. I pulled over to the side of the road and pulled the appropriate documents from the glove compartment. As I reached into my purse the police officer was at my window “License and registration”. I pulled the little black folio that holds my driver’s license and my “badge” out of my purse and handed it to the officer. “Please take your license out of the holder and who do you work for?” said the officer. I responded “It’s not me but my husband was one of the firefighters killed on September 11?” The officer took all my paperwork and headed to his car. A few moments later he returned, handed me my paperwork and said “slow it down”. I said “Yes, sir. Thank you.”

      As I pulled away, I felt bad because I really deserved a ticket. I had been driving above the speed limit. Bruce’s (my) badge stating FDNY widow had rescued me from getting a ticket. I was struck by the thought that because Bruce died I didn’t get what I deserved. I was grateful. Then I thought wow because Jesus died I don’t get what I deserve – Jesus paid the price for my sins. Just then I saw the flashing lights again, glanced at my speedometer and was confused because I wasn’t driving above the speed limit. The police car changed lanes, sped past me and pulled over another car. As I drove past, I wondered if they had a “special badge” to void a ticket. I wanted to lend them my badge. I wondered if they knew Jesus loved them and died for their sins. I was struck by how often I don’t tell people that. I was humbled and cried. My speeding story happened a couple of years. Today seemed like a good (Fri)day to tell you. Jesus loves you and died for you. 🙂

      “If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

      Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

      Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.”

      Posted in daily life, faith | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, little things
    • Extravagant Love

      Posted at 8:33 pm by missannsays, on February 14, 2013

      Today when I went to visit my mom, the receptionist at her assisted living facility wished me “Happy Valentine’s Day”. I wished her the same and she commented “We should get rid of all these holidays. There should only be Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.” I was about to comment when another woman commented “And 4th of July. We need to celebrate 4th of July because that means it is summer.” I am thinking okay but 4th of July is important because it is the birth of our nation not because it is summer. The receptionist then states ” All these holidays – Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day are just made up. It isn’t fair to people who don’t have a spouse or parents or…” For a moment I was going to tell her the history of Valentine’s Day and then realized that isn’t what she needed to hear. From past conversations, I know the receptionist is a widow (and she knows I am) so instead I said “It is difficult when you walk in stores around Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, or Father’s Day and see all the cards you don’t need to buy. I think they should have a selection of cards entitled “this stinks!!”. She smiled 🙂

      Today is the two month anniversary of the Newtown shootings. It is strange but on Dec 14 when it happened I thought oh no the two month anniversary will be on Valentine’s Day. How sad. My prayer for those families has been that they will not doubt that their children knew they were loved and that they will know they are loved by their Heavenly Father.

      “If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
      Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end…We don’t yet see things clearly. We are squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he know us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is Love.”

      Posted in daily life, faith | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, little things
    • My Dad and Larry Hagman

      Posted at 8:06 pm by missannsays, on November 25, 2012

      As a kid I remember hearing the story many times that my Dad and Larry Hagman had been in the Air Force together.  What I remember of the story was they were both stationed at the same Air Force base outside of London, England during the Korean War, and Larry Hagman was Mary Martin’s son.  I always found that kind of interesting that Peter Pan’s son was Major Nelson.  Yesterday as my mum told me the story again, she included details that I hadn’t heard before. As the story goes one day Mary Martin walked into the office where my dad was stationed and asked to speak to her son. My Dad asked “who is your son?” and she said “Larry Hagman”. My mum stated “that is how everyone found out who he was because at the time, Larry Hagman wasn’t Larry Hagman”. And then my mum said “I wonder if he was still married to that Swedish woman. You know your father and I went to their wedding reception at the American Embassy.” I checked Wikipedia and he was still married to the Swedish woman. 🙂

      What makes this story weird is my dad and Larry Hagman died the same week. My dad died early Wednesday morning. It was so strange when I turned the radio on Saturday morning and heard that Larry Hagman had died. The funny thing is I don’t usually believe in coincidence or happenstance. I believe in God’s fingerprints, timing and design but this seems to be coincidence and that is fine. This past week other things happened that were definitely not coincidence and were definitely God’s timing and design.

      Last Monday I was scheduled to lead tours but before I headed into the city I stopped by to drop off my mum’s laundry. As I was getting ready to leave my mum’s room for Manhattan, my cell phone rang. It was the hospice nurse to say that my dad was failing quickly. (My mum is in assisted living at the same facility that my dad was in the nursing home. My dad had been on hospice for a year.)  A stroke 6 years ago took his mind but his body had kept going. Needless to say I canceled my tours and headed to my dad’s room.

      My sister, my mum and I would spend Monday and Tuesday at his bedside. At one point on Monday, the hospice chaplain would ask “what do you think your dad would say to you?” I commented that “there wasn’t really anything profound that needed to be said. Because we had always said those things to each other.” I would also comment “I am blessed. I know who my earthly father is and I know who my Heavenly Father is”.  Very early Wednesday morning I would receive the phone call that my dad had died. My mum had picked the funeral parlor but hadn’t finalized plans. So late Wednesday morning I would head to the funeral parlor to make the arrangements. When I arrived I was greeted by the funeral director, who I recognized as a man who had been part of a private tour I had led on November 11. Wow!! How can this be?

      Last Spring, a walking tour with me had been one of the items that was auctioned off to raise money for the high school my daughters had attended. In late summer, I had been contacted by the woman who had “won” the tour and we had finally decided upon November 11. Fast forward and Hurricane Sandy happens – the memorial is closed, participants scheduled to be part of the tour are without power. There is talk of rescheduling for next Spring but we decide to go forward with the tour. November 11 was a beautiful day.  When I arrive at the Tribute Center, I meet most of this group for the first time. All of them have some connection to my daughters’ former high school.   Two people I know and this is a repeat tour for them. I  also come to find out that one gentleman is actually a tour guide at Gettysburg, and another gentleman is a volunteer firefighter.  It makes me a little nervous having a tour guide on my tour. And the firefighter will share with me his visit to the site on September 12, 2001. The line at the memorial is long but the tour proves to be a success. And 10 days later I will walk up to the funeral parlor my mum had chosen to be greeted by the funeral director who was the volunteer firefighter on my tour. Unbelievable.

      James Ray Clark, Jr.  September 31, 1931 to November 21, 2012 – husband of one woman for 59 years, loving father of 4 children, grandfather to 5 grandchild and great-grandfather of 1 great-grandson and owner of lots, and lots of books. Thanks Daddy for always believing in me, for always encouraging me and for teaching me to question and learn. 🙂

      Posted in daily life, faith, memories, relationships | 5 Comments | Tagged little things
    • “A Concerned Grama in Oklahoma”

      Posted at 8:37 pm by missannsays, on October 16, 2012

      “Hello Ann, Please let me introduce myself. I am the daughter of Junita “Nita” W. from Oklahoma. I do believe you and your daughters became friends with my mom after your husband was killed on 9 -11….I found pictures and your name with address in mom’s things…When I saw your name and pictures I had a very strong feeling you may not know about my mom’s death… She was a very caring, loving lady of Godly character. I know she cared about you and your girls.”

      That is part of the note I received today.  After I shed a few tears and thanked God for His amazing ways, I went and pulled out the first note I received from “Nita” in Oklahoma.  It was a simple card with a watercolor type drawing on the front of a table and two chairs and printed on the inside it stated “thinking of you”.  There was also a mauve piece of writing paper with a hand – written note dated November 20, 2001.

      “Hello Ann, my name is Nita W. I live in Oklahoma, the tragedy of last month has touched me deeply, as it has most of America. I wanted so to be helpful in some way for those who were directly effected. I called the Nazarene headquarters in Kansas City, (I am a member of the Nazarene Church),and asked for the phone number of the Nazarene district office in New York where the tragedy happened…And Ann since then I’ve asked God to be with you and comfort you. I am so very sorry…”

      The note would go on to say that Nita would “like to do something special for me for the Christmas season, if that would be ok.” Nita would also ask if I had children so she could remember them also.  I would respond to Nita’s note and she would send a beautiful homemade Christmas tree and home-made ornaments.  The ornaments would include two small houses with a twenty-dollar bill tucked in each one. One for each of my daughters. My younger daughter’s twenty dollars in still in the little house. My older one spent her’s. 🙂  Each year as I display those items I am awed by the kindness of a stranger.

      But what made the note extraordinary was the way it was signed – A concerned Grama in Oklahoma, Nita W.  In further correspondences with Nita, she would tell me that she just knew she was supposed to sign her note that way.  She didn’t understand why but she just did it. She would understand why when I told her my grandparents were from Oklahoma. My grandparents had been dead for years but seeing that salutation was a gift.

      When I end my Tribute Center tours, I usually mention that I hope people don’t doubt that the little things they do make a difference.  That when they hear of something terrible happening in their neighborhood, town, state, country or around the world that doing something to help – sending a card, praying, donating makes a difference. And I tell them I know that is true because those things made a difference in my life after Sept 11. Nita made a difference in my life. “Well done good and faithful servant”

      Posted in faith, memories, September 11 | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, little things, September 11
    • an acorn in my pocket

      Posted at 8:00 pm by missannsays, on October 9, 2012

      I realized the other day that I had an acorn in the pocket of my jean jacket. Not just any acorn but an acorn from one of  the white swamp oak trees on the National September 11 Memorial.  I had placed the acorn in my pocket last fall and forgotten about it. I remember hearing or reading somewhere “think about it which is more of a miracle: an acorn taking years to become a mighty tree or if the acorn instantly became a mighty tree.” I think both are miraculous. We live in a time when instantly seems to be the amount of time it should take to do anything. Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful for the advances in food preparation, communications, and even something as basic as ready-made clothing but I also wonder if we have lost something along the way.

      I personally thing what we have lost is being in the moment. We have lost the journey. When I would direct camp, I would tell my counselors that they needed to follow the schedule but they also needed to “seize the moments”. Walking from point a to point b wasn’t just about getting to the destination on time. It was also about the journey, the moments. Year ago, I saw a sign outside of a church that read “Jesus never rushed!”

      I also think we have lost the wonder. Think about it a tiny acorn can become a mighty oak tree – wow!! Do we still have “wow” moments?  It is “wow” moment when all that preparation on Thanksgiving produces a delicious meal shared by family and friends. It is a “wow” moment when your good friend hands you a hand-made knitted pumpkin for no other reason than she is sharing her talents and love with you. Those “wow” moments took time and intention. I read that when the cathedrals of England were being built people knew they would never see the completion in their lifetime but they still donated their talents and money. They were in for the journey even though they wouldn’t be there for the completion. There are many opportunities in our present world that need us to be there for the journey. When I started leading tours for the Tribute Center there was only an empty hole where the WTC had been. There wasn’t even the Tribute Center. But now there is there a busy construction site, a Tribute Center and a National September 11 Memorial with trees. Someday there will be a museum but for now I will keep leading tours and every time I stick my hand in my pocket I will think “wow”.

      On a totally random note: I have decided that squirrels need to have better friends. I really think their friends dare them to run across the street, to play “chicken” with cars. Seriously, what else would explain the weaving and dodging they do – either look both ways and cross the street or wait until I have driven by 🙂

      Posted in daily life, faith, September 11 | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, little things, telling the next generation
    • His plans for my days

      Posted at 9:46 pm by missannsays, on October 4, 2012

      On Tuesday, I had the opportunity to tell my September 11 story to a group of teens at the high school my daughters had attended. My plan for the morning had been to leave early, go to the post office and then drive the route I had driven so many times before.  Well when Tuesday morning rolled around, I realized I had time to go to the post office later in the day and just felt that if I went first thing I may be late for “school”.  So I left and drove the same route I had driven so many times before. I even made note of “what color was winning?”. When my girls were little and we would travel a similar route to their childcare center, I would ask them “what color is winning?” translation which color of leaves is the most prominent. I did make a detour through Starbucks for a Grande Chai Latte. I was glad Starbucks hadn’t been on the route to school when my daughters were in high school or we would have had to leave the house even earlier. Anyway on Tuesday  I would arrive at “school” early and I would sit in the car for a few minutes finishing my Chai Latte.

      I would decide to go into the office to visit the “office moms” as my younger daughter used to call the two wonderful women who manage the front office (and the school).  As I walked up to the front door of the school a woman was walking in carrying a gym bag. She held the door open for me and I followed her into the front office. I stood back as she explained to one of the “office moms”, Mrs P. that her daughter had called/texted her to say she had left her gym clothes at home. Mrs P said she would take care of getting the clothes to her daughter. And then Mrs P. looked at me and said “you two have something in common.” Later, Mrs P would tell me  that when she looked up from her desk and saw both of us standing there she couldn’t believe it and realized we needed to know we shared a connection.  So I told the “gym clothes mom” that my husband was one of the firefighters killed on September 11 and I asked her what her connection was. She told me her husband had  been killed on the 101 floor of Tower 1. We both expressed our condolences to each other and then I asked her if I could give her a hug. We hugged and continued talking. I asked how old her children are (15, 17) and we had an amazing conversation. I asked if she would like to have coffee sometime and gave her my “card”, we hugged again and she left. And that was a God moment because there is no way we should have both been in that office at that moment. I am very grateful for His plans for my days.

      Posted in daily life, faith, September 11 | 1 Comment | Tagged following Jesus, little things, September 11
    • a visit to the site

      Posted at 8:39 pm by missannsays, on September 27, 2012

      In September of 2001, it was called “the pile” by those who were part of the  rescue and recovery. When it was emptied in May of 2002 it would become “the pit.” Today it is called “the plaza”.  And  in September of 2001, when the firefighters from Squad 41 would ask me if I wanted to visit what had been the World Trade Center, they would say “do you want to go to the site?”  The WTC was 6 buildings on 16 acres with the seventh building across the street. It was a city within a city. When it was built there was more office space at the WTC than in the entire city of Detroit.  Hundreds of thousands of people worked, commuted and/ or visited the WTC on any given day. And after September 11, 2001 it is reduced to the simplest of terms – the pile, the pit, the plaza, the site.

      I had only been to the World Trade Center twice in my entire life before September 28, 2001. As a teen, I remember catching the PATH (Port Authority Trans Hudson) train there once. Actually missing the train because after a certain time the schedule changed and “we” didn’t realize that. This was years before cell phones so I would end up getting home later than my curfew. I remember telling my dad this long story about getting there too late for the train and having to wait an hour and on and on. My dad finally said “Well, this has to be true because you don’t have a good enough imagination to have made it up!” Wow thanks, dad!?! My second visit to the World Trade Center would be July 4, 1976. Bruce, his sister and her husband and I would go to the “top” of 2WTC. I remember the elevator traveling faster than I could believe. It was an incredible view but it was scary. I also remember than people had said you are crazy to travel into the city on July 4. It was the 200th birthday of our nation so there were tall ships, celebrations, etc. But we actually made great time getting into the city and the lines for the observation deck were not long. After our visit we would find a pier to stand on and watch the fireworks which were so far in the distance that there was no sound – my kind of fireworks. On July 4, 2011, I would relate that story and my September 11 story to young people from South Africa, Ireland, USA and Israel.  That opportunity would be one of the most profound experiences in my life.

      On Friday September 28 ,2001 we would journey into NYC to visit “the site”.  A firefighter from Squad 41 would come to my home to escort us. Squad 41 had left a FDNY 15 seat passenger van at my home in case I needed to go somewhere. In a lighter moment my daughters had joked that we could drive around and pick up their friends and head to the mall – not!!  Our group would be made up of my sister and her husband, my other sister, who had flown in from CA , myself and my 2 daughters. We would travel to the Brooklyn Naval Yard. It would be a long journey. Traffic was moving slow. There was military on the bridges. When we arrived at the Brooklyn Naval Yard we would board a boat. It was one of those cruise around the harbor party type boats.  I remember thinking that the boat looked sad. No blinking twinkle lights, no people in their fancy evening attire, no music or drinks. Our small group was joined by another family, Red Cross volunteers and a NYPD chaplain. My daughters would each be given teddy bears. And we were given bagged lunches with notes from school children inside. When we arrived at what I now know is the marina at the World Financial Center, we would disembark and walk over to Liberty and West Streets. There were many little sailboats in the marina that were covered with grey ash and pieces of paper. The National Guard was there and they took their hats off as we walked by. That was humbling. The Red Cross would give us little packs of tissues and a map so you could understand where you were standing and where the buildings had been. I remember commenting “wow, the Red Cross has tissues with their name and logo”. I think that was my mind trying to keep me from being overwhelmed. To be honest I would not understand anything about where I stood or where the buildings had been, until I started doing tours for the Tribute Center. Today I can retrace my steps of September 28 but on September 28 I was just following our FDNY escorts and keeping an eye on my daughters to make sure they were okay.

      The site looked like war. It was like a bad war movie. Old movies of World War II or photos from that same era were the only point of reference I had to make sense of it. What I had seen of the site on television was nothing compared to what it looked like.  It was total devastation and it was huge. It was very loud because the heavy equipment was there. There was smoke because the fires were still burning. There was a pregnant woman in our group and they gave her a paper mask to put on. I don’t know how long we stood there. My brain couldn’t process it. I kept looking at the map but it didn’t help. The NYPD chaplain would state that he was going to read the 23rd Psalm. And he did. And then he said he was going to recite the Lord’s Prayer and we were welcome to join him. After we recited the Lord’ Prayer, I realized that no one had said “Oh excuse me. I don’t know if we can say that here.” I realized that I had stood at the World Financial Center in NYC and the word of God had been spoken. And the Bible states “my word will not return void.” Thank you, thank you.

      Posted in faith, memories, September 11, then & now | 3 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, September 11, telling the next generation
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