Miss Ann Says

Category: relationships

• heard recently

  Posted at 8:41 pm by missannsays, on June 10, 2013

  While having lunch with my mother in law at her assisted living residence:

  “Are those new residents?” “No, that is Hannah and a guest” – said of me and my mother in law.

  “Wow, she is tall. She must be 6 feet.” said of me when I stood up to leave the dining room.

  While attending a performance at the American Music Theater:

  Me to Meghan – “I think you are the youngest person here.” Meghan to me – “I think we both are the youngest people here.” side note – the show was very good and this was my Mother’s Day gift from my daughters.

  Text from my sister:

  “Mum killed her phone today! She dropped it in water. Long story!”

  A quote in a thank  you note I received:

  “Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.” J.R.R. Tolkien

  At Collyde Conference at Princeton Alliance Church:

  “We use imagination towards fear not love. Being terrified is about what might happen instead of imagining what God can do”  Makoto Fujimura

  “You are more able than you know and people are more ready than you expect.” Jonathan Golden

  “Only today is real, tomorrow doesn’t exist” Margaret Feinberg

  “One day, some day are safe words.” Margaret Feinberg

  “You can’t intentionally touch Jesus and not have something happen” Bonnie Gay

  “My calling is not tied to the things I do.” Joan Ball

  “Am I going to put my faith in God’s identity or in God’s activity?” Pete Wilson

  “If God doesn’t give us one more thing, we still owe him everything.” Pete Wilson

  on telephone with IRS after receiving a notice, being on hold for 27 minutes and explaining that they have cashed the check but maybe I owe penalties (long story):

  “The records show there is no balance due.” – IRS   “but you sent me a notice” – me   “call back at the end of week maybe you will owe something then.” – IRS    all righty then

  at Book club:

  ” In the summer there is more time to read so let’s read Anna Karenina.” not said by me – good news, I got it for 99 cents for my nook, bad news I needed to start reading yesterday….

  Posted in books, daily life, relationships | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, little things

• “Happy” Mother’s Day

  Posted at 12:56 pm by missannsays, on May 10, 2013

  This past week the “ads” for Mother’s Day have been relentless. Every time I heard or saw an ad for teddy bears, flowers and jewelry, I thought of the women who this Mother’s Day will be hard. I thought of my cousins who are experiencing the first Mother’s Day without their mom. I thought of my friends who have lost their mothers this past year. I thought of the mommies of the children killed in Newtown and Boston. I thought of the moms of those who have died while serving our country. I thought of the young women trying to have children and it isn’t “happening.” I thought of the moms of children with serious illnesses. I thought of the children with moms with serious illnesses. And then I said a prayer. A prayer that they would find peace. A prayer that they could remember the hugs and love without too much pain. A prayer that they would know that there is a Heavenly Father that loves them, their children and their moms.

  Yesterday I had a lovely day out with friends. We are women who became friends because of our September 11 connection. One of my friends lost her only child on September 11. Another lost her youngest son on September 11. Still another lost her mom very recently. I was struck by it isn’t as simple as “making it through the first Mother’s Day since…” Mother’s Day will always be hard. So I pray that the good memories will outweigh the bad. That the loss will not overwhelm them. That there is someone around them to give a hug, a smile or an ear to listen. I pray that I can be that person to those I know.

  I am blessed and stressed that both my mum and mother-in-law are still alive. It is a challenge walking through these days but I wouldn’t trade it. Happy Mother’s Day to Mum Clark and Mom Van Hine. I love you 🙂

  Since I have aways worked with children, my daughters were accustom to “sharing me” whether it was at the studio, church or summer camp. There were times it was difficult for them to wait for me to be just their mom. They would even say “Miss Ann” when I didn’t respond to “MOM”. I would tell my girls that there are many children who call me “Miss Ann” but there are only two children in the whole world who call me “Mom”. I am very blessed.

  Posted in daily life, faith, memories, relationships | 4 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, friendship, kid stuff, little things, prayer, September 11

• Traveling Tuesdays – S1E6 – try something new

  Posted at 7:30 am by missannsays, on May 7, 2013

  In 2005, when my youngest daughter, Meghan, was graduating from high school, I wanted to do something special for her graduation and maybe incorporate that something special into “our family vacation.” We (Emily, Meghan and I) had tried to establish a “new kind” of family vacation after Bruce’s death. Our family vacations with Bruce had always been very special times. We didn’t have a lot of money but we did some great trips on the cheap. We had wonderful experiences and made priceless memories.

  So I asked my soon to be high school graduate “what would be your dream vacation?”. Meghan thought about and said “a dude ranch”. So I started planning a family vacation to a dude ranch. I investigated on-line and found the perfect place in Shell, Wyoming. In further discussion we decided to invite my very good friend, Carol, and her daughter, Jenna. The reasoning was that “mom needed someone to hang out with.” I asked Carol if she and Jenna would like to join us. I would finance the place, she would just have to pay their airfare and she said “yes”. Meghan was in shock. She never thought her “Auntie Carol” would say “yes”. I never doubted that Carol would say yes.

  We purchased our cowboy boots, our cowboy hats, our long sleeve shirts and our gloves. We purchased our airline tickets and packed our bags. We flew into Billings, Montana. I checked Montana off of my states to visit list. We spent the night in Billings and on Sunday drove to Shell, WY. The scenery was beautiful – wide open spaces, nothing, I mean nothing for miles and miles. Town signs announcing population 12 or 26. Amazing. The ranch was beautiful. The accommodations were great, the food was gourmet and the people who ran it were so gracious and kind. And I would visit there again but not to ride horses.

  This was a real working cattle ranch. They weren’t moving cattle around to give you something to do. They were moving cattle because that’s what they do. We had to help get the horses ready, then ride all day and truly move cattle. And I never laughed so hard in my entire laugh. It makes me laugh to think about it. The first day the wrangler had us ride around the ring so he could determine our riding skills. Meghan and Emily had taken riding lessons when they were younger. Carol had ridden as a child. Jenna was very athletic. So they all did well. And my riding skills were zero or lower. Did I mention I am afraid of horses? Well, maybe not afraid but definitely not comfortable with them. Horses are big and they can run fast and I am a chicken. As I rode around the ring, the wrangler commented “you wait and see by the end of the week, she will be good at this.” And my “family” commented “probably not!!!” The wrangler tried me on a new horse everyday. My first horse’s name was Cheetah but I kept calling him Cheyenne. Cheetah didn’t sound like a horse to me. Meghan would just shake her head. When I would see the baby cattle, I would think they are so cute I am never eating beef again. But when the bull would stand across the path and the cattle won’t move pass him, I would think give me a steak. Cattle are not very bright. They are noisy and it is hard to move them around.

  By mid afternoon on our first full day of riding, I asked the wranglers if they could just throw my body across the horse like you see the movies. The head wrangler said “remember I told you not to believe anything cowboys do in movies.” Oh, my!!! I hurt in places, I didn’t know you could hurt. I was really, really bad at horseback riding and herding cattle. But you know what I did it and I will never do it again but I tried. And I have used parts of this story to encourage many a child to “try something new” because you have nothing to lose. You may have a great experience and find something new you enjoy doing or you may never do that again but at least you tried. Or you may just get to spend time with people you love and laugh harder than you had laughed in a long time.

  http://thehideout.com this is where we went. They have a very professionally done video.

  Posted in memories, relationships | 0 Comments | Tagged friendship, little things, travel thoughts

• in the meantime…

  Posted at 5:39 pm by missannsays, on April 25, 2013

  I completed a “light, little” blog post about a half hour ago and scheduled it to be published in an hour. In the meantime, I went on Face Book and saw that a friend had posted that her son-in-law was killed yesterday while serving in Afghanistan. So I pause and say a prayer for her daughter and children. My heart breaks. I say a prayer for my friend and her family. I grief that I never met this young man. I say a prayer for his family. I weep. I marvel that this young man is about the same age as my son-in-laws. I thank the Lord for my girls and their guys. I remember the wonderful times spent together with my friend and her family many years ago. I am grateful. I remember that this friend and her husband drove from SC to Bruce’s memorial service. I am humbled. I ponder all the sadness and sorrow of this world. And I say aloud “I know whom I have believed in and I am pursued that He is able to keep that I have entrusted unto Him against that day.”

  Posted in daily life, faith, memories, relationships, respect in the real world | 0 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, little things, respect

• My Dad and Larry Hagman

  Posted at 8:06 pm by missannsays, on November 25, 2012

  As a kid I remember hearing the story many times that my Dad and Larry Hagman had been in the Air Force together.  What I remember of the story was they were both stationed at the same Air Force base outside of London, England during the Korean War, and Larry Hagman was Mary Martin’s son.  I always found that kind of interesting that Peter Pan’s son was Major Nelson.  Yesterday as my mum told me the story again, she included details that I hadn’t heard before. As the story goes one day Mary Martin walked into the office where my dad was stationed and asked to speak to her son. My Dad asked “who is your son?” and she said “Larry Hagman”. My mum stated “that is how everyone found out who he was because at the time, Larry Hagman wasn’t Larry Hagman”. And then my mum said “I wonder if he was still married to that Swedish woman. You know your father and I went to their wedding reception at the American Embassy.” I checked Wikipedia and he was still married to the Swedish woman. 🙂

  What makes this story weird is my dad and Larry Hagman died the same week. My dad died early Wednesday morning. It was so strange when I turned the radio on Saturday morning and heard that Larry Hagman had died. The funny thing is I don’t usually believe in coincidence or happenstance. I believe in God’s fingerprints, timing and design but this seems to be coincidence and that is fine. This past week other things happened that were definitely not coincidence and were definitely God’s timing and design.

  Last Monday I was scheduled to lead tours but before I headed into the city I stopped by to drop off my mum’s laundry. As I was getting ready to leave my mum’s room for Manhattan, my cell phone rang. It was the hospice nurse to say that my dad was failing quickly. (My mum is in assisted living at the same facility that my dad was in the nursing home. My dad had been on hospice for a year.)  A stroke 6 years ago took his mind but his body had kept going. Needless to say I canceled my tours and headed to my dad’s room.

  My sister, my mum and I would spend Monday and Tuesday at his bedside. At one point on Monday, the hospice chaplain would ask “what do you think your dad would say to you?” I commented that “there wasn’t really anything profound that needed to be said. Because we had always said those things to each other.” I would also comment “I am blessed. I know who my earthly father is and I know who my Heavenly Father is”.  Very early Wednesday morning I would receive the phone call that my dad had died. My mum had picked the funeral parlor but hadn’t finalized plans. So late Wednesday morning I would head to the funeral parlor to make the arrangements. When I arrived I was greeted by the funeral director, who I recognized as a man who had been part of a private tour I had led on November 11. Wow!! How can this be?

  Last Spring, a walking tour with me had been one of the items that was auctioned off to raise money for the high school my daughters had attended. In late summer, I had been contacted by the woman who had “won” the tour and we had finally decided upon November 11. Fast forward and Hurricane Sandy happens – the memorial is closed, participants scheduled to be part of the tour are without power. There is talk of rescheduling for next Spring but we decide to go forward with the tour. November 11 was a beautiful day.  When I arrive at the Tribute Center, I meet most of this group for the first time. All of them have some connection to my daughters’ former high school.   Two people I know and this is a repeat tour for them. I  also come to find out that one gentleman is actually a tour guide at Gettysburg, and another gentleman is a volunteer firefighter.  It makes me a little nervous having a tour guide on my tour. And the firefighter will share with me his visit to the site on September 12, 2001. The line at the memorial is long but the tour proves to be a success. And 10 days later I will walk up to the funeral parlor my mum had chosen to be greeted by the funeral director who was the volunteer firefighter on my tour. Unbelievable.

  James Ray Clark, Jr.  September 31, 1931 to November 21, 2012 – husband of one woman for 59 years, loving father of 4 children, grandfather to 5 grandchild and great-grandfather of 1 great-grandson and owner of lots, and lots of books. Thanks Daddy for always believing in me, for always encouraging me and for teaching me to question and learn. 🙂

  Posted in daily life, faith, memories, relationships | 5 Comments | Tagged little things

• Jury Duty

  Posted at 7:03 pm by missannsays, on November 8, 2012

  “I swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” The following story is true. At the beginning of January 2012 I received a “jury summons” for February 14.  I decided to postpone my service since Tween Winter Camp was scheduled for the end of that week and as the director of that camp I knew it could become problematic if I was actually placed on a jury. It was simple  enough to go online and reschedule for April 16. Fast forward to April 16 at 1:30am. A phone call informs me my mother has fallen and is being transported to Valley Hospital Emergency Room. I get dressed, grab my phone and my jury summons and head to Valley Hospital.  I am not sure what the day will hold but know that I need to be there for my mom but also I don’t want to “just not show up” for jury duty. I will comment later to my sister (a lawyer/judge) that I was afraid of a bench warrant being issued because I was a no-show. She chuckles and says she wished everyone took it that seriously.

  Thankfully things go smoothly and my mom is admitted to a room very early in the morning.  I make sure she is settled and around 6:30 am drive home to quickly change my clothes so I can look respectable to report for jury duty.  As the jury selection process begins I hand in my summons  and  I inform the clerk that my mother has just been admitted to the hospital and she excuses me and wishes me luck.

  Fast forward again to mid August. Surprise, jury summons arrives in the mail. Now there is only one day that would be problematic for the whole month of September. That date is September 10 because I am scheduled for gall bladder surgery. Not my choice of dates but  that was the first date the surgeon had. Anyway you guessed it. September 10 is the date I am scheduled to report for jury duty. I try to postpone on-line but I can’t because I have postponed two times before so the next day I call. I start the conversation my telling the woman that everything I am telling her is true – camp, mother, surgery. Her reaction is “oh, my! let me reschedule you for March.” I paused and said could you just reschedule me for November. She is surprised I want to come in November. Yes, November is fine. What I am not telling her is I already know there is a conference I want to attend in March. She nicely says” I will schedule you for the week of November 5. November 6 is Election Day so you will only have to serve 4 days.” Thank you.

  And two weeks ago the jury summons came to remind me I was scheduled for the week of November 5. In the State of New York, you have to call the night before to see if you need to report the next day. If you don’t have to appear you, call every day until your number comes up. Well, that makes it a little difficult to plan your week so I actually hadn’t scheduled tours or anything because who knew. When I called Friday night, I was hoping I would be required to show up on Monday because at that point I had no electric and at least the courthouse would be warm. I didn’t have to report on Monday. When I called Monday night they said no court on Tuesday or Wednesday. I called on Wednesday night and they said no court on Thursday. I called this evening and I have to report tomorrow at 2pm in Newburgh. To be honest, I am not a happy camper. I am trying to have a good attitude but really I was willing to go anytime this week and I have to go for the last 2 hours of the week. On the other hand, let’s  hope nothing weird happens between now and 2pm tomorrow because I need to finally do my civic duty. Will let you know how it goes.

  Posted in daily life, memories, relationships, respect in the real world | 0 Comments | Tagged little things, respect

• a silver bracelet, a buffet and bread

  Posted at 6:23 pm by missannsays, on August 16, 2012

  My aunt died this past weekend. She had taken a terrible fall last November and after months in the hospital and rehab she had gone home. She was doing quite well when other health issues would get the best of her. She fought the good fight but her body could only take so much. My heart is broken for my uncle, cousins and their families. She will be missed. My aunt and uncle and I shared something very special. We had the same wedding day – June 14. I was actually the flower girl in my aunt and uncle’s wedding. To be honest, I don’t remember that event because I was only 4 years old. I have however seen many a photo and for many years I had a small silver  bracelet that my aunt and uncle had given me on June 14, 1958.  I have fond memories of looking at it in my mom’s jewelry box and her saying “that is yours”. When Bruce and I were planning our wedding we picked June 14 as our date. Mainly because his mom had always joked that she would put the “flag out” when he got married. Thus June 14 being Flag Day seemed perfect.  So on June 14, 1980 Bruce and I were married and that silver  bracelet given me by my aunt and uncle was passed along to my flower girl, Bruce’s niece.

   

  On another note, the “Ho Chi Minh” has a new home. (See 5/26 blog) This past Friday my daughter and I met at my parent’s house and loaded the “Ho Chi Minh” into her car for the journey to PA. Last evening she sent me a photo of the buffet fondly called the Ho Chi Minh proudly displayed in her dining area. It seems perfect that it has been passed along to the next generation.

   

  Lately I have been pondering this whole concept of remembering.  The thought that keeps coming to mind is communion “do this in remembrance of me”. A simple cup of wine and a piece of bread. Such ordinary every day items used to remember the greatest sacrifice ever made. And maybe that is the point it is in the every day that we remember.

  Posted in daily life, faith, memories, relationships | 0 Comments | Tagged little things, telling the next generation

• Family vacation 2012

  Posted at 5:29 pm by missannsays, on July 27, 2012

   This is the view from the beach house we have rented for “family vacation”. For the last few years some time  between Thanksgiving and New Years my daughters will ask “is there family vacation next year?” To which I respond “do you want to go on family vacation?” Family vacation is code for mom plans and mom pays. I am blest that my girls and their guys want to go on vacation with me and that I can afford to do that. The planning usually starts in January with “where should we go and when are you available?” This year there were emails back and forth with links to possible beach houses. And by the beginning of February the beach house was reserved for the third week in July.

  I enjoy beach vacations but I am a brat so I want to be right on the beach and I want nothing to do but be with my family, read, chat and sip ice tea. This year’s family vacation is in Broadkill Beach, Delaware. The beach house is a block from the bay. It is a short walk over the dunes to the beach. The weather has been great a little warm but if you sit right at the edge of water you don’t feel as hot. My youngest daughter’s golden retriever has joined us complete with his own life jacket and water toys. I have read 2 books (A Secret Kept by Tatina De Rosnay and The Bridge of San Luis Rey by Thorton Wilder) and been able to watch  5 episodes Newsroom – the new Alan Sorkin drama on HBO. I don’t have HBO so it was exciting to learn the beach house did. We also have played Wits and Wagers – fun game.

  I have had the opportunity to share with my daughters stories of other beach adventures. As a child I remember going to Blackpool to visit my Uncle Bill. As a child, Blackpool was a magical place. There was Blackpool Tower, the circus, trolleys going up and down the boardwalk, fish and chips, donkey rides on the beach. The beach was huge and you could walk out “forever”.  I have a vivid memory of playing soccer with my brother and sister, when suddenly my brother when flying across the beach. He had slipped on something – a jelly fish. There were many jellyfish on the beach that summer. We would later learn that because of a change in the Gulf stream there were man of war in Blackpool. Yuck.  On another note, because Blackpool is in England, you don’t water a bathing suit on the beach – it is too cold. Another beach memory is taking my “little sister” to the Jersey Shore, Sandy Hook to be exact. My “little sister” is 12 years younger than I am so when I was old enough to drive she was still young. I remember standing at the edge of the water and a big wave came and knocked us over. Luckily I was holding her hand and I kept holding on to her – that was scary.  As a teenager, I have memories of day trips to the shore with friends – baby oil, little bikinis and Parkway traffic. I remember snorkeling with Bruce on our honeymoon in St Thomas and being afraid of the fish. His comment was “you are the one who isn’t suppose to be here – this is where they live” Family trips when my girls were young to Wildwood Crest, Island Beach State Park and North Carolina. And trips to the beaches of St Thomas with my girls when they were in high school. And family vacations with my sister and her family to North Carolina and Rhode Island.

  As I was packing for this trip, I realized I didn’t have to pack sand toys. No one is building sand castles on this trip to the beach. Things change. But the waves continue to roll in and out. And family vacation becomes more and more precious.

  Posted in books, daily life, memories, relationships | 2 Comments | Tagged little things, reading list

• somewhere between Mary Poppins and Mrs Doubtfire

  Posted at 1:02 am by missannsays, on June 13, 2012

  I spend quite a bit of time with children.  Of course when I was teaching dance I spent more time than now. Even now between children’s ministries in my local church or district events or at the Tribute Center, I have at least a “weekly dose” of children. But that is different that spending 24/7.This past week I have been helping to care for my 3 grand-nieces and 1 grand-nephew all under the age of 6.  And I have been reminded of things I forgotten about life with little kids. I had forgotten how long bath time, bedtime and getting in the car can take.

  I had forgotten that little kids have no sense of personal space. Years ago I went to the Indianapolis Children’s Museum. They had this very interesting display of footprints showing how in different cultures people stand different distances apart. The display explained where it is culturally correct to stand. I was reminded of that display this week as I was saying “could you move back a little”, “please don’t stand on my feet”, “you are too close to me”.  Of course the plus side to that is a 3-year-old crawling into your lap and giving you a hug. Or a 2-year-old saying they want to sit next to you at the dinner table.

  I had forgotten that little kids wear more clothes in one day than grown ups wear in a week.  Not because they have gotten dirty but because they change their clothes constantly.  This may be just a girl thing.  I remember my girls doing this especially if they were playing dress up. This week we had daily “fashion shows”  complete with music and many wardrobe changes. Also sizing of children’s clothing is weird.  How can one child wear – 24 months, 2T and 3T.  It makes sorting laundry tricky for visiting aunts.

  I had forgotten that little kids “lie”. Bill Cosby has a great bit about this. You can probably find it on YouTube. Anyway I love how they look you in the face and say what they want to hear. Then when you call them on it, they play the “my mom or my dad said” card.  Which is just their way of trying to pull rank on you. I usually counter with “okay, I will just go ask them”. Wow, I am no fun.

  On Sunday, I joined my niece and her 4 kids at a Bar be que for her MOPS (mother of preschoolers) group.  I was the oldest person there by at least 20 years. Anyway this 4-year-old boy is climbing on the backyard fort/jungle gym and is starting to climb on the top (where kids aren’t suppose to go). I comment to him that maybe that isn’t a good idea and he looks me straight in the face and says “my dad says I can”. So I respond “really maybe you should go confirm that with him.” – he didn’t appreciate that comment.

  At this same party, there was supposed to be a kiddie pool. Since we weren’t sure how the pool thing was going to work, I brought my swimsuit since my niece just had a baby and can’t go in a pool.  My thought was I can put my suit on with my coverup, sit on the side and watch my 3 grand-nieces. Surprise, it is a 4 foot deep above ground pool. There are kids everywhere but no parents in the pool. There is no way the grand-nieces can swim unless Aunt Ann goes in. So I put on my suit and went in. Of course an above ground pool means going up the little ladder, turning around at the top and getting in. Thankfully the water was warm and only 2 out of 3 grand nieces wanted to go in. I was the oldest adult there and the only one in a swimsuit and in the pool.  I felt like I was perceived as somewhere between Mary Poppins and Mrs Doubtfire. I will admit that a couple of the moms asked if I wanted to come and watch their kids for a few days. I can’t believe the situations I get myself into.

  This past week has been terrific. I have snuggled with a newborn, sat next to a 2-year-old at every meal, been delighted to hear a 3-year-old sing VBS songs and taught an almost 6-year-old to play War. I have chuckled under my breath, exchanged “knowing” looks with my niece and felt totally blessed to spend time in Minnesota with family. I have also been reminded of an essay that was poplar in the early 90’s.  I have included it for you. Enjoy!!

  All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten

  by Robert Fulghum – an excerpt from the book, All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten

  All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten. ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

  Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do we. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK.

  Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living. Take any of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if all – the whole world – had cookies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had a basic policy to always put thing back where they found them and to clean up their own mess. And it is still true, no matter how old you are – when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

  © Robert Fulghum, 1990. Found in Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, Villard Books: New York, 1990, page 6-7.

  Posted in daily life, kid stuff, relationships | 2 Comments | Tagged kid stuff, little things

• all in the family

  Posted at 1:09 am by missannsays, on June 9, 2012

  I am spending a few days with my nephew and his family. Well, he isn’t really my nephew because he isn’t the child of one of my siblings.  He is my husband’s nephew but to be honest I don’t distinguish that way. In the family tree he is a nephew and he and his amazing wife just had their fourth child. They had a son to add to their beautiful family of three daughters. My nephew is in the National Guard and his two weeks of active duty is falling right after they have added this fourth bundle of joy to their family.  They had asked if I would be willing to spend a few days helping out with the kids while he is away.  I said yes and actually came a couple of days early so I could see him.

  Even though I didn’t have the luxury of spending hours and hours with him and his siblings as they grew up, I am receiving the priceless gift of a “grown up” relationship. My sister-in-law and her family have always lived half way across the country. They were in Kansas and we were in New York.  We made a two “treks” to Kansas and they would travel to NJ to visit my husband’s parents.  There were always Christmas  and birthday cards and gifts exchanged and telephone calls every now and then.  Unfortunately distance and the expense of travel, raising children and working doesn’t make frequent visits some thing that happens as often as you would.

  When we got married, Bruce and I decided that Thanksgiving would be spent with “his side” one year and “my side” the next year. I have continued to alternate that way ever since we started that tradition.  The great thing about that is I have never cooked a turkey.  Even when my mom stopped hosting, my sister started hosting and her husband started cooking the turkey.  Four years ago I did host Thanksgiving at my home but my brother-in-law cooked the turkey. Two years ago I hosted at the Barn but my brother-in-law cooked the turkey again.

  This past Thanksgiving was a Van Hine year.  As I started thinking on that I realized I couldn’t expect by 93-year-old mother-in-law to cook and I probably couldn’t get her to come to my house.  As I pondered the situation, I had a little thought that would become an amazing blessing.  I asked my mother-in-law if she would like to travel with me to Kansas to have Thanksgiving in her daughter’s home. First I mentioned this idea to my sister-in-law and she stated “mom will never travel to Kansas”.  I just had a thought that she would.  Last September my sister-in-law was in NJ and we went out to lunch with my mother-in-law.  And I asked my mother-in-law “Do you want to go to Kansas with me for Thanksgiving?” And without hesitation she said “Yes”. Wow – okay, road trip with mom. So I made our travel plans. Keep it simple was my goal. Non-stop, don’t fly too early, easy parking, request a wheelchair. After the plans were set, I explained to mom that I would drive to her home in South Jersey, spend the night and then we would drive to the Philadelphia Airport.  We would use a parking service that I had used before so it was simple.  Go to parking place, they drive you to the airport in your car so you don’t have to get out or move your luggage. And it worked.  But it more that worked because my sister-in-law and her hubby arranged with their kids and their families to all show up in Kansas over Thanksgiving weekend.

  The day after Thanksgiving my mother-in-law got to see her 3 grandchildren, 2 of their spouses, 5 great granddaughters and 2 great grandsons.  It was busy and loud and wonderful.  And I got to reconnect  and spend time with my nieces and nephews and thus the trip to Minnesota this week. So today I taught little girls ballet, played with playdoh, washed dishes, folded clothes, encouraged a tired mom and held a 2 week ago baby – it doesn’t get better than that.

  One of the things on my bucket list is to take a train across country and visit family, friends and acquaintances along the way.  But I think I might just have to get on a plane in the next year to visit a niece and her family in Chicago, a nephew and his family in Fort Collins, and another new baby – my brother’s grandson due in a few weeks in South Carolina.  The great thing about family is those bonds that bind you together can always be strengthened by spending more time to together.  Airline ticket – $$$, first piece of luggage -$$, food on the plane – $, spending time with family – worth every penny.

  Posted in daily life, kid stuff, relationships, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged friendship, little things

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