Miss Ann Says

Tag: friendship

• snowy with a chance of frozen meatballs

  Posted at 7:43 pm by missannsays, on November 26, 2014

  With the weather forecast for a snow storm, I decided to travel to the Barn (my secondary residence) a little earlier than originally planned. As I loaded the car this morning the rain started to include a few frozen droplets. The roads were clear and travel was uneventful. I drove through Dunkin Donuts purchased a cup of coffee and continued traveling west thinking I am going to beat this storm. I still had grocery shopping to accomplish so I stopped in Shop Rite. Wow, when I came out of Shop Rite there was snow everywhere. Oh, no that is what I forgot a snowbrush. wait, CD case is a good substitute. Car cleared off and as I pulled out of the parking lot I realized I forgot two items my daughter had asked me to pick up. How did I do that? Duh!! Should I go back in Shop Rite or wait and go in the little grocery store in town? Ugh, I don’t want to get out of the car maybe I will call my daughter and tell her to pick it up herself.

  The highway now snow-covered resembled a slip and slide. A big truck stopped right in the middle of a lane. Not good! Praying “Lord, please keep the idiot drivers away from me.” Oops! “Forgive me, Lord for calling them idiots but please keep them away” Felt bad for the truck drivers – “Lord, help them to get their destination and home to their families”.  Safely in town, I decided to run in Pecks and get the two missing items – frozen meatballs and grape jelly. “Hi, Ann. You made it.” It was my across the street neighbors. Greetings are exchanged and I left the store.

  It is 3 miles from the start of my road to the Barn and most of it is up hill. It is truly uphill both ways. This isn’t the city or the burbs. This is wide open spaces, trees, a few houses and very little traffic unless you count the wildlife – deer and bears. I stay in the middle of the road and proceed very slowly.  And then it happens, the tires are spinning and the car isn’t traveling forward. It is sliding backwards. Car stops. Not sure what to do. I turn on the flashers and sit a moment. A car coming the other way slows down, rolls down their windows and ask if I need help. “I can’t make it up the hill and I don’t know what to do?” the older gentlemen suggests backing down the road and pulling off by the power line gate until the snow plow comes down. “we are going into town. We will tell them to send the plow truck.”  I make it safely to the side of the road remembering that my neighbor will be coming by at some point. I sip my coffee and decide to check my email  and settle in to wait for my neighbor or the plow truck. Within five minutes there are my neighbors. They gave me a ride. A few hours later, my neighbor and I ventured back to the car and I was able to get further up the road but still can’t get up the last big hill. I gathered more items from my car and came back to the Barn. Car is safely in a driveway of a house that is empty and for sale. Tomorrow is another day. And I can’t complain I am inside, warm, have food, water and I was truly blessed today. Not just by the kindness of my neighbors but by the timing of seeing them in the grocery store. That was a God moment. To think God used frozen meatballs and grape jelly. 🙂

  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged Dunkin Donuts, friendship, frozen meatballs, little things, randomness, Shop Rite, travel

• It’s not just about me

  Posted at 4:25 pm by missannsays, on September 22, 2014

  Over the last week or so I have had a similar conversation with different friends. They stumble through saying something like : “so does September 11 get easier?” “well, I know it doesn’t get easier but …”

  Personally I think  it has gotten harder because now September 11 isn’t just about “my personal loss in the midst of a national tragedy.” Last week I had a delightful lunch with 7 fellow docents and friends  – a mom who lost her son, a widow, three downtown residents, a firefighter and a Port Authority employee. I know their stories and struggles. I thought of them and others on September 11. They commented that this year was harder and they couldn’t understand why. I shared my theory that it was harder because we carry each other’s stories in our hearts.

  So does September 11 get easier with the passage of time:

  Yes, because I don’t worry about people’s expectations.

  No, because I realize how much Bruce has missed and how much I miss him.

  No, because it not  just about me and my family. It is about my Tribute friends and their stories.

  “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”

  C. S. Lewis

  

  Posted in daily life, relationships, September 11 | 1 Comment | Tagged friendship, respect, September 11

• A September Monday

  Posted at 11:33 pm by missannsays, on September 8, 2014

  On a Monday in September of 1975 I lost my job, started a small business and meet my future husband. Really, that all happened on the same day. My employer, teacher, mentor called and cut my teaching hours to a minimum. Shocked and totally dismayed I told my dad, he said “what to do want to do?”. Tearfully I said “teach little girls to dance.” “So let’s figure out how you can do that.” My dad and I sat at the dining room table, planned and the result was The New School of Dance Arts. Did I mention I was 21 years old?

  Later that same day the phone rang, Carol said “Craig is here and he has some guy he wants you to meet. We are coming over.” That guy was Bruce Van Hine. A week or so later Bruce would ask me out. We started dating and on June 14, 1980 were married. Side note: Craig would also introduce Carol to her hubby.

  In 1976, Carol would “buy” into my business. Actually she matched the funds that were in the checking account ($100) and we became business partners. It doesn’t matter that isn’t the right way to do that because we retired from that business in 2011 after 35 years. Oh, and she is still my bestest friend.

  With much apprehension in the fall of 2001, I would check the calendar to make sure that September 11, 1975 was not a Monday. It was a Thursday.

  

  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged friendship, little things, September 11

• “writer’s blog hop “

  Posted at 6:51 pm by missannsays, on August 21, 2014

  My friend, Susan Panzica, invited me to be part of a “writer’s blog hop”. I panicked at the idea and told Susan to use me “only if she had to”. She “had to” so here I am in a blog hop. From what I understand the idea of a “writer’s blog hop” is I introduce what I am writing by answering 4 questions and then I introduce you to three of my “blogging friends”. Well, I only have two bloggers to introduce and I almost thought I can’t do this because I don’t have 3 and I don’t have any witty, smart answers to the questions. Then I realized there are probably no “blog hop” police or even “blog hop” penalties for doing it wrong. So here goes:

  1 – What am I writing or working on?
  I am writing a few pieces to submit to magazines and devotionals. My goal for the fall is to really start working on a manuscript for publication.
  
  2 – How does my work differ from others of its genre?
  I share stories from my everyday life and my goal is to show the intersection of the spiritual in all things.

  3 – Why do I write what I write?
  After September 11 I promised the Lord that whatever opportunities He gave me “to tell of His praiseworthy deeds” I would step up and speak of Him. I have had many opportunities to speak and for some time I have believed that I am also supposed to write.

  4 – How does my writing process work?
  I am trying to figure that out. 🙂 I need to be more disciplined about writing. Writing actually scares me to death. I don’t mind speaking in front of hundreds people but putting my thoughts on paper (or my computer) isn’t something I feel qualified to do.

  I meet the following two ladies at Mount Hermon Writers Conference in the Spring of 2013. Hannah and I actually meet at the airport. We were both “newbies” and I was so glad to have someone to learn the ropes with. Since I met Hannah she has released a beautiful Christmas CD which was one of my favorites last Christmas and will be for years to come. Jennifer was one of Hannah’s roommates at the conference and I was thrilled to make another friend. Jennifer has published a book since I met her. You go, girl!

  
  Hannah Frances DeVol Thomas is a writer, a singer, and a pilgrim. She is the Principal at By the Lion Arts—a fledgling enterprise dedicated to words and music of quality and substance. Her blog, At the Top of my Lungs, was launched to chronicle the release of her first album, In the Bleak Midwinter, in December of 2013, and has embarked from there on explorations of life, art, and other worthwhile things, including recent journeys to London, Oxford, and Paris. In the Bleak Midwinter is currently available from Amazon and iTunes

  
  Jennifer Edwards is a writer, blogger, speaker, and editor. She recently published her first book, God’s Radical Plan for Wives (with co-authors Gil & Dana Stieglitz), and a companion 9-week Bible study. Her blog, Truth Bites, is rapidly growing in readership. Women of all ages & stages enjoy her transparency, humor, and crazy life lessons as they gain new insights, perspectives, and clarity about many issues women face today. She also writes a monthly e-newsletter just for wives (The Radical Wife) sharing from her own married life, as well as the principles taught in her books. For more about Jennifer, visit http://www.jenniferedwards.net.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged friendship, randomness, telling the next generation

• The class of 1964

  Posted at 8:48 pm by missannsays, on May 17, 2014

  

  Last fall I received an email from a Facebook friend of my sister-in-law’s. After a brief introduction of who was emailing me, the sender explained that her husband is a 1964 graduate of West Point and she would like to schedule a tour of the Memorial during their 50th reunion weekend. She also mentioned it would be 100 people. I quickly suggested she contact the Tribute Center and forwarded her the information. I did say that I was more than willing to be one of walking tour docents but 100 people will require more than one guide. Through the months arrangements were made for the group to visit Tribute but because of the opening of the Museum the group was told that the Memorial may not be open on May 17 but they were welcome to meet with a docent in gallery 5 instead of a walking tour.

  So this morning I traveled into the Tribute Center to speak to 100 people in 2 groups of 50. As I thought about who this group was, I realized as 1964 graduates of USMA at West Point these men most likely went to Vietnam. As graduates of the USMA, they had served their nation, my nation. I realized as I was growing up they were servicing our country.

  Well, due to traffic and more traffic I arrived at the Tribute Center at 10:28 for a 10:30 group.Just in time for the group but these folks had arrived early so they were waiting for me. I quickly put my jacket and purse in a locker, grabbed some photos and walked into gallery 5. The gentleman in charge of the group pulled me aside and said “before you start speaking I would like to introduce you to the group.” Okay, I had never met this man but his wife was the one who had emailed me and set everything up. He got everyone’s attention using some military jargon and proceeded to introduce me. He mentioned I was an email friend of his wife, that Richard* had been a firefighter and had been killed on September 11. He commented that he had found a YouTube video of me speaking at a Christian college and suggested everyone watch it. 🙂 One of the things I had said in that video had really stuck with him. He stated that I had said “Bruce’s decision to enter the building on September 11 had been made long before September 11. Just as Christ’s decision to go to cross was made long before the Garden.” He went onto say that “23 members of the class of 1964 had died in Vietnam and 1 had died in the Dominican Republic.” He also said “that their decision to serve their country had been made on the parade ground on July 5, 1964 as they (we) raised our right hand and took the oath. Actually it had been made before that.” He also commented that duty is a form of love. He then introduced another man who handed me their class coin and announced I was an honorary member of the class of 1964. I was overwhelmed and humbled. I thanked them for their service, made reference to the fact that Bruce had been a firefighter at West Point before being FDNY and then told my September 11 story.

  When I finished, I did it one more time. The man who introduced me the first time, introduced me a second time and joked there wasn’t another coin. Wow!! I can’t believe I got one coin. I am ever amazed at the opportunities I am given. I am ever humbled by meeting the class of 1964. I am also very glad that the class of 1964 did actually get to go onto the Memorial after they finished at Tribute and they had a beautiful weather to boot.

  *Richard Bruce Van Hine was my husband’s full name. People who knew him referred to him as Bruce. The gentleman today referred to him as Richard and even mentioned to the second group that I called my husband Bruce but he would refer to him as Richard. I thought that showed respect.

  Posted in daily life, faith, respect in the real world, September 11 | 2 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, friendship, respect, September 11

• Miss Ann says

  Posted at 12:30 pm by missannsays, on February 13, 2014

  

   About Faith:

  • If it all can be explained, where is the supernatural.
  • Sometimes life is lived in ten minute intervals. Lord, give me the next ten minutes.  Okay, I made it through those 10 minutes. Let’s do ten minutes more.
  • Mind your own business is in the Bible  “…and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”
  • God can be trusted in the darkness and the light.
  • ” I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being  content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
  • God is good. God is love. God is holy.

   About Friendship:

  • Lunch with friends is delightful even if the food isn’t delicious.
  • Silence in a conversation with a good friend isn’t an uncomfortable thing.
  • “Old” friends add layers to my life. “New” friends are the icing on the cake.
  • My friends have friends.
  • Sometimes all you can do is be there and listen.
  • To be a friend is an intentional priceless act.

   About Family:

  • Having both of my daughters in the same place at the same time is the best.
  • Giving my mum an inexpensive bouquet of flowers and a crème horn pastry can make her day.
  • Marriage is a  life commitment that should be taken seriously.
  • My parents did the best job they could with the resources they had.
  • My children remember events differently than I do.
  • Parenting is hard work but worth every minute.

  For me:

  • A good book, a cup of tea and a piece of chocolate make for a lovely evening.
  • Snuggling a sleeping baby on my chest is magical
  • An unsolicited hug from a child/teen has the power to improve my day.
  • Peanut butter and jelly on an English muffin, Fritos and a glass of milk are my ultimate comfort food lunch.
  • Books are meant to be read and shared.
  • I am good being by myself. I reboot being alone.

  To my students:

  • Don’t use last names when speaking about someone. You don’t know who is related to whom.
  • Most of life has nothing to do with what you want to do.
  • If you end up on Jerry Springer, I don’t want to hear my name mentioned.
  • I don’t make threats, I make promises.
  • “What made you think that was a good idea?”

  Things I wished I had learned sooner:

  • No matter how well I treated my body after a certain age it would betray me.
  • Being silent when someone speaks isn’t the same as listening to them.
  • There is wonder to be found in each new day.
  •  Challenging weather conditions, flight delays and traffic issues may affect my day but they are not personal attacks on me.
  • Smiling at someone could make their day (and my day).
  • There are people who thrive on drama. I don’t have to aid and abet their drama.

  Each Day:

  • may I remember the blessings of the past.
  • may I look forward to the future.
  • may I be present in the now.
  •  may I act justly, love mercy  and  walk humbly with my God.
  • may I be who God intended me to be. 🙂
  Posted in daily life | 2 Comments | Tagged family, following Jesus, friendship, little things, randomness

• random thoughts from 60 years of life:

  Posted at 9:39 pm by missannsays, on February 11, 2014

  when I was kid:

  1. there were 9 planets.

  2. adults were called Mr. or Mrs.

  3. television when off the air and started each morning with a photo of the  American flag and the playing of the National Anthem.

  4. the president was assassinated .

  5. we practiced for nuclear attacks.

   

  when I was a teen:

  1. MLK and RFK were assassinated.

  2. men walked on the moon.

  3. I believed  “to live is to dance, to dance is to live”

  4. my male classmates had draft numbers

  5. POWs came home from Vietnam

   

  when I was in my 20’s

  1. I studied dance, voice and acting in NYC and auditioned for Broadway shows

  2. I went to college part-time.

  3. I started a business with my best friend

  4. I meet my hubby and got married

  5. drove across country with my sister and sister-in-law. I went to England and France with my bff.

   

  when I was in my 30’s

  1. I had 1 miscarriage and gave birth to 2 daughters

  2. “have dance will travel” taught  dance in many places to many people

  3. was Sunday School Superintendent in my local church

  4. my hubby became a FDNY firefighter

  5. the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded

   

   when I was in my 40’s

  1. Life had a more balanced rhythm.

  2. we got a dog.

  3. vacations –  England, Prince Edward Island, National Park Tour, Houseboat rental, camping…

  4. Oklahoma City bombing and September 11 happened.

  5. I became a widow.

   

  when I was in my 50’s

  1. my daughters got married.

  2. my brother and  my dad died.

  3. I spoke in NJ, NY, PA, CA, NH, TN, KS, Northern Ireland and Japan.

  4. I had breast cancer and I am now five years cancer free.

  5. I retired from my dancing school.

   

  on February 13, I will turn 60 and I can say:

  “Scars and struggles on the way

  But with joy our hearts can say

  Never once did we ever walk alone

  Carried by Your constant grace

  Held within Your perfect peace

  Never once, no, we never walk alone.

  Never once did we ever walk alone

  Never once did You leave us on our own

  You are faithful, God, You are faithful

  You are faithful, God, You are faithful”

   Never Once by Matt Redman

   

  Posted in daily life, memories, September 11 | 3 Comments | Tagged following Jesus, friendship, kid stuff, randomness, September 11, telling the next generation, travel

• “Old and Cool”

  Posted at 5:24 pm by missannsays, on January 26, 2014

  Last Sunday a conversation with my friend’s 3-year-old grandson:
  3-year-old – “you are Baba.”
  me – “no, that is your Baba sitting across the table?”
  3-year-old – “you are Baba.”
  me – “no, I am not Baba. I am Miss Ann.”
  3-year-old – “you are Baba”
  me – “No, I am Miss Ann. That’s your Baba. My daughter’s don’t have children. I am not a Baba”
  3 old – “you look like a Baba.”
  Laughter all around.

  Last Monday as I finish leading a tour of the National September 11 Memorial one of the young girls (I would guess she was about 11 years old) on the tour approaches me and she waits until other people have expressed their appreciation for the tour and states “I just wanted to tell you that I love your nail polish!”

  So this past week I was old and cool – works for me!!

  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged friendship, little things, randomness

• a few good men

  Posted at 4:22 pm by missannsays, on January 3, 2014

  Today, I awoke to a sunny day. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, there wasn’t a cloud* to be seen and the ground was covered in snow definitely a picturesque setting. Wow, it is beautiful! Upon further investigation I realized my driveway hadn’t been plowed, my car was covered with snow and the deck would need to be shoveled before I could get wood for the wood burning stove. Oh, well I have enough wood for a while. I am going to play the “Scarlett O’Hara” card. “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow”. 🙂 So I checked the weather report which made the Scarlett O’Hara card seem even better. With the wind chill the temperature outside had a minus sign in front of it. No, thank you.

  And then a slight gloom started to set in. Actually a small pity party started to materialize. I was taken aback at first. What is this all about? Was it because I had a dull pain in my shoulder/neck? Most likely caused my carrying wood yesterday and then deciding that hurling wood over the deck rail onto the deck was a better mode of operation. Obviously from the pain in my shoulder, it was not. I took 2 Advil and thought about my funk. I realized that I was feeling sorry for myself. But why? The only reason I felt sorry for myself was I was going to have to be a participant in this snow day and not just an observer -see blog from yesterday. I was being a brat and felt alone.

  Breakfast was going to be needed before shoveling could begin. As I started to cook, I heard someone on the deck. It was the 10-year-old boy from across the street. Over the summer, I had arranged with my neighbor’s son to shovel a path to the Barn but I wasn’t sure if he would show up on such a cold day. He had shoveled yesterday but wasn’t sure if he would be back. Yes, he showed up and he brought his dad and older brother. After a brief “catching up on things” conversation, they asked if I wanted them to clear the snow off the car and shovel out the car. I explained that my snowplow guy wasn’t sure if he would have his truck back from repairs in time to plow thus why I had parked near the road. I mentioned I am not leaving until tomorrow but yes, that would be wonderful. A few moments later I heard the snowplow. Wow! There was a knock on the door asking for car keys to move the car so the driveway could be plowed. In less that 20 minutes, the driveway was plowed, my car was cleared and path was shoveled.

  As I glanced out the window, I was grateful. I smiled. I am an independent woman but on occasion I have grumbled to God that I have no men in my life (my husband, father and brother are deceased). I seem to grumble especially when there are things that I think a man would be better at. I am not so liberated or independent that I don’t want a man to do the heavy stuff. 🙂 And on those occasions like today God reminds me that I am so wrong about that. First and foremost I have Him. God also reminded me of all the men in my life and as I thought about them and I smiled again. Today, I awoke to a sunny day. Today God blessed me with a few good men and boys. Thank you!

  *Side note: cloudless blue skies make me nervous. That however is a story or therapy session for another day.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged friendship, little things, randomness

• the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker

  Posted at 8:29 am by missannsays, on November 28, 2013

  I had an “aha” moment this morning. I was thinking about what I need to do before I head to PA via Toms River. I need to stop and pick up the raspberry tart I ordered. Wait!!! I said I won’t shop on Thanksgiving. And then the “aha” moment. Some stores were always open on Thanksgiving – the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker. Modern equivalent – the convenience store, the bakery and the gas station. With a little planning, you could always get things you needed on Thanksgiving – milk, bread, fuel. Maybe you had to drive to the next town or go first thing in the morning because the bakery closed at 11 but you could get what you needed. And somewhere through the years the mindset changed and now you can get what you want on Thanksgiving. You may not need it but you want it. And you want it today! I don’t know who is to blame if there even is someone or something to blame but won’t it be great if our wants and needs were the same thing (at least for one day)

  I pray that our very basic needs of food, clothing, shelter, education, health, peace of mind and friendship will be met. And I also pray that I will have eyes to see, ears to hear, a heart that cares and hands to help. Happy Thanksgiving. 🙂

  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged friendship, little things, randomness, telling the next generation