Miss Ann Says

thoughts from everyday life
Miss Ann Says
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  • Tag: September 11

    • channeling Corrie ten Boom

      Posted at 7:46 pm by missannsays, on June 15, 2015

      Last week I was privileged to share my September 11 story with a group of fifth graders in North Carolina. I was sitting in front of a laptop in the 9/11 Tribute Center conference room and they were sitting on the floor of their music room in their public school in North Carolina.  Just that experience alone is amazing. I mean think about I was in New York City and they were in North Carolina and we could see and hear each other in real time.  As I thought about it I realized that is only a few steps away from "beam me up, Scottie" Okay, it is probably many steps away from "beam me up Scottie" but it is still cool. This wasn't the first time I had participated in distance learning but it was the first time I was struck with wonder about the whole experience.

      The session started with Sarah, one of Tribute's educators, explaining the timeline of September 11, 2001 and showing the children age appropriate photos. Sarah introduced me. I commented to the students if we were together I would have sit on the floor, too but I have to have my head by the computer so I am sitting on a chair.  I proceeded to share my story after which the children were invited to ask questions. Little hands waved in the air and the teacher called on a child by name and then graciously repeated the question so Sarah or I could answer it. After 4 or 5 questions and answers, the teacher called on a child who we will call Kevin. Sarah and I could tell Kevin was speaking but we couldn't make out any of what he was saying. The teacher thanked Kevin and then turned towards the computer and asked us how we would respond. "We couldn't hear him."

      The teacher invited Kevin to come and stand in front of computer and repeat what he had said.  Kevin – "Thank you for telling us your story. I am sorry your husband died. You said you believe in God. I believe in God. My Dad is a pastor of a church. I don't know what I would do if my Dad died. I don't know what I would think about God."  In that moment I was totally humbled by the opportunity that had been placed before me. I paused and remembered the words of Corrie ten Boom and decided that I needed to share those words with Kevin. "Kevin, since you have told me that you believe in God I am going to speak to you as a fellow believer. I am going to tell you what I used to tell my daughters. Is that okay?" He nodded his head yes. "Kevin, if you go to the amusement park with your dad when does he give you the ticket for the roller coaster. He doesn't give you the ticket the week before, right?" Kevin nodded his head no. "He doesn't give it to you until you need it. Until you are ready to go on the roller coaster. If he gave to you too early you could lose it." Kevin nods his head yes. "Well, it is the same with God. He gives us what we need when we need it. Kevin, God can be trusted. We aren't always happy about how things turn out but I can guarantee you God will give you what you need when you need it. He will give you peace. He will help you through" Kevin – "Thank you." Me – "Thank you Kevin"

      To give credit where credit is due:

      Father sat down on the edge of the narrow bed. "Corrie," he began gently, "when you and I go to Amsterdam-when do I give you your ticket?"  I sniffed a few times, considering this.  "Why, just before we get on the train."  "Exactly. And our wise Father in heaven knows when we're going to need things, too. Don't run out ahead of Him, Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need-just in time.”
      ― Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place

       

      ** photo is from a publicity shoot 9/11 Tribute Center did a few years ago to promote education classes. Very few schools in the USA teach about September 11, 2001. 😦

      Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged 9/11 Tribute Center, Corrie ten Boom, following Jesus, kid stuff, September 11, telling the next generation
    • April 19 – then and now

      Posted at 8:00 am by missannsays, on April 19, 2015

      Today marks the 20th anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing. My prayers and thoughts are with the family members, victims, fire responders, all who have always known whether it is the first, seventh, thirteenth or twentieth time April 19 has been the date on the calendar since that terrible day in 1995. My prayers are also with those who served on the jury for the trial of the accused bomber. This has to be difficult day for so many.

      Twenty years ago I was in England with my two daughters and my British born mum for a two-week vacation to introduce my girls to the “mother country” of their Nanny. We were fortunate to have family to stay with and who were also willingly to drive us hither and fro through the British Countryside. We had already visited the sights of London – toured  the Tower, heard Big Ben chime twelve as we came out of the underground, visited the stables to see the Queens horses, shopped for English sweets and souvenirs. We had taken the train to Oxford to see the universities and where I was born. On Easter Sunday we had gone to Windsor Castle and had a glimpse of the Queen Mother leaving church.


      On Wednesday April 19 we had visited Hampton Court and my daughters had participated in the “Jeweled Egg Hunt”, a scavenger hunt designed to make historical places a little more interesting to a 7 and 10-year-old. Upon returning to Auntie Mirrey’s house while enjoying a cup of tea there was breaking news report on the television of a bombing in Oklahoma City. My dad is from Oklahoma. Oklahoma was far away but not foreign to us. I had lived on the campus of the University of Oklahoma as a little girl. I remember trying to listen to the information and at the same time shielding my daughters from the news. A telephone call “home” would give more information but the sense of disbelief would remain. Sadness for those who were lost, sadness for innocence lost, sadness for lives changed, sadness for my country being bombed.

      On that day twenty years ago I didn’t know that 6.5 years later I would become a member of a select group of people those who have experienced a personal loss  in the midst of a national tragedy. I didn’t realize that I would be able to understand in ways I wish I didn’t know what it is like to have a nation remember the anniversary of your loved ones death.  I pray that no one else ever has that distinction.

      Posted in memories | 0 Comments | Tagged family, prayer, September 11, travel
    • faith and hope…

      Posted at 12:29 pm by missannsays, on April 3, 2015

      Hebrews-11-1-KJV-web

      It has taken years to sort through the significance if there is any of being notified on Easter Sunday that Bruce’s body had been identified.  The FDNY didn’t officially come until  Easter Monday night but the Easter Sunday telephone call told the news. A middle of the night telephone call 10 days before had  informed me that he was found. That same telephone call stated it could take up to 6 weeks to identify him so I hadn’t told my girls.  Why Easter Sunday?? Why on the day when the story was about no body was I telling my daughters their daddy’s body had been found. We never expected there to be a body. This was out of the blue. This was a wound being ripped open. This was a difficult time. This made no sense…

      At the time (April 2002) something in me knew there was something significant  but I couldn’t verbalize it or even think it through but there was a sense that I was missing something. Years past and slowly or maybe it was actually suddenly, it clicked. Whether Bruce’s body was found or not, my hope in eternity is based on the belief that there was no body on Easter Sunday. My hope that I will see my husband again is based on “nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness.” So Bruce’s body being identified on Easter Sunday was a reminder that Jesus is my hope and my salvation. Jesus was Bruce’s hope and salvation.

      “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

      My prayer this Easter weekend is for the families of September 11, of the Malaysian airliner, of the Great East Japan tsunami, for all families  who have never had any human remains identified that they may know faith, hope and love.  

      “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

      1 Corinthians 13:13

       

      Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged family, following Jesus, September 11
    • time & treasures

      Posted at 5:08 pm by missannsays, on January 27, 2015

      Due to recent weather events in my part of the world, my original plans for the past few days have been canceled – no district wide children’s Bible quiz on Saturday, no tours for the 9/11 Tribute Center or ladies small group on Monday and no teaching ballet this afternoon. I see that type of change in plans as having extra time. Laundry, cleaning, answering emails, finishing books for book club all fit into my regular schedule. So when extra time presents itself I try to think of something I don’t think I have time to do and get it done or I fall into the “binge watching” trap.

      On Saturday I organized paperwork I will need for my 2014 taxes. I shredded stuff I don’t need and filed the rest. With a sense of accomplishment I then binge watched most of the first season of Parenthood. Sunday was a regular day. On Monday I organized my address book which consisted of very old addresses of family and friends and lots of little return address labels that I had stored in the book. I tossed out most of the written pages and simply taped the labels in the book. Yes, I do have contacts on my phone and computer but I don’t need to carry all of those people around with me. 🙂  Then I watched a couple more episodes of Parenthood finishing season one and starting season two.

      On Monday evening I decided I should accomplish something else as I had extra time due to no ladies group. So I decided to clean out the small drawer in the cabinet that sits next to my favorite chair and has become the catch-all for this and that. Since it is a small drawer I always assume what I place in there well be safe because it won’t be swallowed up as it could be in a big drawer. I wasn’t surprised to see post-it notes, small pads of paper, rubber bands, paperclips, cleaning cloths for my computer, my amazon credit card and my checkbook. I was surprised by a few treasures:

      • a box of rose petals – a friend had collected the petals from the yellow rose that was placed in Bruce’s name  by the National September 11 Memorial on Veterans’ Day. Friendship is an amazing treasure.
      • a small metal kazoo – “a dad gift”. After September 11, my daughters and I purchased a gift for each other that would have been something Dad would have bought or something that reminded you of Dad. We continued that tradition for 10 Christmases and then decided to make it an optional Christmas tradition. Meghan had purchased the kazoos for Emily and I in 2013. Many years ago while on a long road trip from NY to KS a stop at Cracker Barrel had resulted in Bruce (Dad) buying kazoos for the girls. Thankfully it took a few miles for them to get the hang of it. Family and memories are treasures.
      • business card from Dith Pran – In 2005 (?) I had a telephone interview with a New York Times reporter and that reporter asked if a photographer could come to my home. A few days later a gentleman arrived at my home and began to take photos. In the course of the photo shoot, I realized that the photographer was Dith Pran, the man whose life the movie the Killing Fields is based on. We spoke of his passion to tell the next generation the story of the Killing Fields because one time was too many.  It was a totally surreal experience. There is a You tube video of his last words. Passion and purpose are another treasure.

      Extra time and random treasures have been a blessing the last few days. Tomorrow is back to real life if Mother Nature allows. 🙂

      I have to be honest I watched a few more episodes of Parenthood. Not sure why I never saw the show in real time. 🙂

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Christmas, friendship, little things, randomness, respect, September 11, television, telling the next generation
    • My year in review. The ABCs of 2014.

      Posted at 11:01 am by missannsays, on December 31, 2014

      year in reviewA is for arabesque. I taught one ballet class a week.

      B is for book clubs. I belonged to two.

      C is for children’s camp. I directed with the best team ever.

      D is for Dunkin Donuts. I drank a lot of coffee.

      E is for East of Eden. I enjoyed reading this John Steinbeck classic.

      F is for family and friends. Fun, food and fantastic stories.❤

      G is God. He is good.

      H is for home. I accomplished a few items on the “to do list”.

      I is for ice cream. Always a yummy treat.😋

      J is for Japan. Amazing second visit.

      K is for Kansas. Time spent with family.

      L is for library. My daughter completed her masters in library information science.

      M is for Minnesota. I spent ten days caring for my grand-nieces and nephews.

      N is for National September 11 Museum. It opened in May.

      O is for opportunities. I am blessed with many.

      P is for PA. My new secondary residence.

      Q is for quizzing. I teach in my local church and direct on the district.

      S is for speaking. I spoke at 4 events including one all-day conference with my daughter.

      T is for tea with Miss Carol. Always a treat.

      U is for United. The airline I usually use. Flew to San Antonio, Seattle and Minneapolis.

      V is for volunteering at Tribute Center. Lead and supported tours, spoke to school groups.

      W is for writing. I took a writing course and now I need to get busy!

      X is for eXcerise. I need to be more disciplined.😐

      Y is for year. Hard to believe another year has come and gone.

      Z is for zero. The number of regrets I have.

      In 2015- my goals are to read and write more, watch television less, enjoy simple times with family and friends and relish in being a grandma in the near future.😊

      Posted in books, daily life, memories | 2 Comments | Tagged Dunkin Donuts, family, friendship, little things, randomness, September 11, television, travel
    • Dr Seuss was right…

      Posted at 4:16 pm by missannsays, on October 13, 2014

      “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go”
      ― Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

      I currently belong to two book clubs one at the local public library and another with a few friends. The public library book club tends to read classic literature. For October’s meeting we read The Essential Tales of Chekhov. It was short stories by Anton Chekhov and it was enjoyable – humorous but also dark but come on, he is Russian so it is going be dark. For the next meeting we are reading The Country Girls Trilogy by Edith O’Brien. We are just reading the first book of the trilogy. I haven’t started it yet because the friend’s book club meets in a week and I needed to finish The Children Act by Ian McEwan. I did finish it and it was worth the read. The book we had read previously was The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt which was good by a little long (800 pages). I am also reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott and Replacement Child by Judy L. Mandel both of those books are more for research than for pleasure but I am enjoying all that I am currently reading.

      I also have had opportunity to visit a few interesting places recently. Two friends and I walked the Walkway over the Hudson (https://www.walkway.org/) last week and had lunch at a delightful little café called Lolas. We had beautiful weather. I would encourage you to take a stroll on the Walkway and then enjoy a yummy lunch at Lolas and then walk back. You get a view and exercise.
      IMG_1647

      The week before I  visited the State Museum (http://www.nysm.nysed.gov/) and New York Fallen Firefighters Memorial in Albany. My intention for visiting the State Museum was to see the 9/11 Family Room exhibit. The weird thing is I only visited the 9/11 Family Room once when it was in One Liberty Plaza and never went when it was on the site. I was curious to see the exhibit but in earlier years I had no need or desire to visit the space. I will say the State Museum’s September 11 exhibit is a good exhibit for children.  I thought it tells the story without being overwhelming like the National 9/11 Museum. The area is bright, there are few large artifacts, information on all aspects of attacks, rescue and recovery. There is a section on rescue dogs and a statue to honor the dogs. I also learned something I hadn’t realized that at the original World Trade Center there had been bomb disposal units on the plaza. Already, then. I started wondering what on the new site is the equivalent. IMG_2934IMG_2935

      When you exit the museum if you walk  all the way to the other side of The Egg you will come to the New York Fallen Firefighters Memorial. It is a beautiful memorial. As I approached I noticed a man “working” on the Memorial. I assumed he was fixing names but I would come to find out a few days later he was adding names. I asked him if the names were in any particular order. He said “no, after September 11 I added almost 400 names.” I commented that I recognized some September 11 names but they didn’t appear to be all together. He said “I just put them where they tell me.” “Thanks for your help. I will just keep looking.” After about 10 minutes of scanning up and down every panel I found Bruce’s name. At that point the man was leaving and I said to him “Thank you for the work you do here.” As he finished picking up his tools and headed towards his truck, he said “it is my pleasure.”  Suddenly he stopped walking, turned  and said “no that is wrong, it is my honor.”

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged reading list, September 11, telling the next generation, travel
    • It’s not just about me

      Posted at 4:25 pm by missannsays, on September 22, 2014

      Over the last week or so I have had a similar conversation with different friends. They stumble through saying something like : “so does September 11 get easier?” “well, I know it doesn’t get easier but …”

      Personally I think  it has gotten harder because now September 11 isn’t just about “my personal loss in the midst of a national tragedy.” Last week I had a delightful lunch with 7 fellow docents and friends  – a mom who lost her son, a widow, three downtown residents, a firefighter and a Port Authority employee. I know their stories and struggles. I thought of them and others on September 11. They commented that this year was harder and they couldn’t understand why. I shared my theory that it was harder because we carry each other’s stories in our hearts.

      So does September 11 get easier with the passage of time:

      Yes, because I don’t worry about people’s expectations.

      No, because I realize how much Bruce has missed and how much I miss him.

      No, because it not  just about me and my family. It is about my Tribute friends and their stories.

      “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”

      C. S. Lewis

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      Posted in daily life, relationships, September 11 | 1 Comment | Tagged friendship, respect, September 11
    • The Star Spangled Banner

      Posted at 4:23 pm by missannsays, on September 14, 2014

      Today is the 200th birthday of the Star Spangled Banner. There is very interesting information to be found at http://amhistory.si.edu/starspangledbanner/. Whether I hear the Star Spangled Banner sung live at an event or on television, I always cry. It doesn’t have to be sung well. From the first notes my eyes are welling up then the goose bumps start and by the time the words “the land of the free and home of the brave” are sung I am “done.” I have the privilege of living in the “land of the free” but that freedom cost many men and women their lives. “Home of the brave” carries a new meaning for me because my hubby was one of New York “bravest”. Well done, Francis Scott Key!

       

       

      IMG_2877 034 IMG_2866 IMG_2864 IMG_2589 IMG_2588

      Posted in daily life, respect in the real world, September 11 | 0 Comments | Tagged little things, random thoughts, respect, September 11
    • Living his dream

      Posted at 6:30 am by missannsays, on September 11, 2014

      On March 12, 1990, my hubby would recive the letter that he never thought he would receive. The letter from the FDNY stating “Congratulations! You are being offered the opportunity to be appointed as a New York City Firefighter. The appointment is to be effective on Sunday March 25, 1990 at 9:00AM followed by a one year probationary period.”

      Below is the text of a letter my husband wrote to me:

       Dear Ann, I never thought that this day would ever happen, only a dream. I want to say to you thank you for the past 8 or so years + putting up with F.D.N.Y. all the time. You have been a real encouragement to me as we walk side by side down our married life. Just think, this now ends career of the week. In 1973 in California I read Report from Engine Co. 82. Never did I ever dream that I would be a NYC firefighter. Those people in the book seemed out of reach. I never thought I had what it took to be a firefighter in the Big Apple due to my low self-esteem. This could not have been possible with out your encouragement and love. I thank the Lord for you and this day.

      I’ll always love you, Bruce

      See you later

       

      He was living his dream on September 11, 2001. What I love about this letter is the little footnote -“See you later” because I will. 🙂

      IMG_2869IMG_2872

      A photo of the letter and his class photo. Bruce is last row, second person from the left.

      Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged family, following Jesus, little things, September 11
    • FAQs about 9/11

      Posted at 4:41 pm by missannsays, on September 10, 2014

      A few of the Frequently Asked Questions about September 11 that I have  answered many times while leading tours or speaking to school groups.

      In regard to my personal connection:
      1. Did you talk to your husband that day? No, but I didn’t expect to. He was on duty. He was working.

      2. Were you worried about your husband?  As I watched the events unfold on the television I was worried about us as a nation. My main concern was how was I going to handle things and protect our daughters until he could get home. As a firefighter’s wife, I knew Bruce was well-trained and that his fellow firefighters had his back.

       3. How are your daughters? Since September 11, 2001, they have graduated from high school, college, and graduate school. Meet wonderful men and married. Bruce would very proud of the women “his girls” have become. My daughters appreciate when people say their father was a hero but they didn’t lose a hero, they lost their daddy. I am a very proud mom and will talk your ear off about “my girls and their guys.”

      4. Isn’t difficult for you to come here (WTC site)? It is more difficult for me to go to Bruce’s firehouse. It probably sounds strange but I don’t associate him with being here. Before I started volunteering at the Tribute Center I didn’t have a strong connection to the WTC site. I had only been here twice in my entire life. Once as a teen and once with Bruce on July 4, 1976.

      5. How do you deal with the hate? I don’t  have time to hate. I had two daughters to raise, a business to run and life to live.  I believe Bruce died in the line of duty so no one took his life, he gave it.

      6. Were you excited when bin laden was killed? I hadn’t spent 10 years waiting for bin laden to be killed (5/1/11). A long time ago I read or heard the following “the opposite of love isn’t hate, it is indifference”. The truth is on May 28, 2011 as on August 4, 2006 whether bin laden was dead or alive, my husband wasn’t there to walk his daughters down the aisle.

      7. Have you ever read the names on September 11? I have been invited to participate in the name reading each year. The one day of the year I don’t visit the WTC site is September 11. I don’t think I can handle the grief of all of those people.

      General information questions:

      1. What do you think about the conspiracy theories? I think when the unimaginable happens one of the ways we try to explain it is with conspiracy theories. Popular Mechanics had a great article a few years back that debunked many of the theories.

      2. What do you think about the mosque and where was it going to be built? I believe if we stop a mosque from being built this week, next week we will stop allowing Protestant churches and then the week after Catholic churches and then Jewish synagogues. There is freedom of religion in the US and that is freedom for all religions. I will add “that all things are permissible but not all things are beneficial.”

      3. What do you think about the government in relation to September 11? One of the things I remember my dad saying after September 11 was” the first job of a government is to protect its people.” I believe that the government let us down but I am hopefully that the “alphabet agencies” are talking to each other. I am proud to be an American. I support those who serve our nation in the military and foreign service.

      There is one question that always surprises me when it is asked. It has made me wonder if I have told the story in a way students can understand. But then I realized even hearing all of the facts the one thing that is impossible to comprehend is hating someone so much that you would kill yourself.

      “What happened to the terrorists that hijacked the plane?  Did we capture them? Are they in prison?”

      Now I actually find comfort in that question because it means the chid asking can’t comprehend that kind of hate.

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      Continue reading →

      Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged September 11, telling the next generation
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